How do you do it? Overwhelmed with appts
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Anonymous
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Earlier this year with the help of a great teacher, we identified some gaps in my son accessing the curriculum and as an outcome of that he was receiving OT at school. In early June, the teacher commented that she did not see the progress she would have expected this year so we are now getting private OT this summer. There are some other things going on as well so we are also seeing a therapist once a week. We have a drs appt for some medical issues next week as well. We are probably just at the point where everything is coming together but next week we have 5 different appointments. The OT and therapist are also saying that we need to get on the calendar now for the school year.
How do you make all of these appointments work? We have other children and work full time. Did you go part time for a period of time, have a babysitter take them to appointments? I am just overwhelmed at trying to make this all work. Thanks for any strategies for managing this. |
Anonymous
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Five appointments in one week is too much for you and for your child. Especially if your child is being assessed. Also, you need to choose your battles. I don't know what the appointments are for, but concentrate on what is essential. Unless your child has a life-threatening illness and has to be seen by specialists in five disciplines right away, the notion that your child has to have five different work ups (where essentially his history is going to be covered in depth identically five separate times again and again and again) is not necessary.
You need to zero in on the essentials. It's great to have a great teacher in your corner. But it sounds like you are chasing tails instead of getting therapies. I have a profoundly disabled kid. In her case, I could take her to appointments for therapy every day -- speech, PT, OT, intensive clinics. But she's also a kid and she wants to hang out, go to the pool, go to camp. It's impossible to chase every tail. Prioritize. Do what's essential. |
Anonymous
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My DC had a profound speech disorder and also needed OT. He did speech and OT at school (2x and 1x). We also did private speech 2 days a week year round and OT 1x per week during school year. in summer we did a 6-week OT camp for 3 years, leaving a bit early for speech twice a week.
One parent went part time and 3-6 pm 3 days a week was spent in cars / specialists. The younger sibling was small so dragged along. When he became school age we had him stay in after-care so he could play rather than accompany his brother. For us it worked. DC was dismissed from private speech and OT around age 10 and amazingly our kids really don't remember this period of their lives at all. It is true that the after-school appointments are in demand. I'd get on the schedule for the therapist and OT now -- you can always dial back if it's too much. But very hard to get those appointment slots later. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I worked part-time or DH worked part-time. One or the other of us has been part-time since DC was diagnosed. |
Anonymous
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During the school year we have a nanny pick my son up and take him to his appointments. My husband and I are in constant communication with the different therapists. He has ABA and OT so one of us tries to do a pick up from each type of appointment once a week in order to have 2 to 3 minutes to catch up with the therapist on any specific issues.
During the summer we have ABA before camp and OT in the afternoon after camp. We both work full time. One thing that helped is figuring out the schedule and keeping it the same every single week. |
Anonymous
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We had to prioritize which therapies we were going to pursue. My son has ASD so we are doing OT and social skills group. Our dev per said that we also need to have him in speech and seeing a behavioral therapist.
Since he is very verbal but with social communication issues, we are just doing speech at school. I would love to add a behavioral therapist to the mix but I am so overwhelmed working and taking care of him and taking him to school and 2 appointments every week for the last 10 months. And, since it's summer right now, we added speech camp to the mix. It's hard and we are doing all we can. My biggest advice is to try to get the school system to give you as much therapy and special ed as possible! |
Anonymous
| The beginning, when you're first figuring out what's what and what directions to pursue, are the most time-intensive. After you've decided on a course of weekly therapies the schedule will regularize. At least it has in our case. Then, at moments of transition, such as changing schools or IEP time, things will ramp up again. Your kid will rebel if it becomes too much. Ours did at a certain point and we cut down on some of the weekly appts. If it's at all possible, I would caution you not to send a babysitter to the appts. I have discussed this with one of the therapists we were really close to and she agreed that giving feedback and discussing the child in those five or seven minutes before and after the appt are just not the same without a parent present. Plus, while the kid is in therapy you get a little break. Get the babysitter for the typical kids at home. |
Anonymous
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I empathize, OP. It will get easier, but right now you are in the thick of it. I wasn't working so I was able to take DD to all her appointments: speech therapy twice a week, allergy shots twice a week, OT once a week, plus various other tests and doctor visits for all sorts of things. I averaged 4-5 visits every week for years. But when DD started high school, most of that was done. It was very, very hard. I don't know how I did it, and I wasn't working. Working FT sounds almost impossible unless you have a very supportive parent or nanny whom you trust to report back to you after every single visit.
I agree with a PP: you have to prioritize. Do what's most important, and let the others slide. It all seems important (and it is!), but one thing at a time. You'll end up sick and exhausted if you don't let some things go, for now. I've found that every provider gives you a list of a zillion things to do, and you go home thinking you have to do all of them. In fact, you don't. You do the most pressing thing, and some of them you just don't need. You be the judge of what's important. Don't let your providers tell you what's important. That might help. |
Anonymous
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All I can say is I don't know, and bless you.
My spouse stays at home, and though I work time my schedule is incredibly flexible. And yet we have trouble making it all work. Don't know how we'd do it if we both had less flexible full-time jobs. Which is probably completely unhelpful other than to validate your stress -- it's totally understandable. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for all of the responses from parents who have been there. Knowing that the beginning is the most overwhelming is helpful. I was sitting there last night filling out the paperwork for the developmental optometrist and wondering if that is going to be another weekly appointment.
For everyone who has figured out how to make it work for your families - thank you! I can not imagine navigating it without the support of the robust information on the internet as well as the virtual support they provide for you. |
Anonymous
Developmental optometrist? You're joking. |
Anonymous
Don't be mean. OP, if you search the archives, you'll see a debate on the validity and usefulness of developmental optometrists. I've known by some parents who really do think they were worth the investment to help with eye tracking. You'll see other posts where some optometrists automatically recommend therapy. (We saw Kraskin who did not.) Just do what you can do. No point turning yourself into a nervous wreck. Lastly, try to maximize appointment times. If you can run errands, clean out your car, get gas, get the car washed...Or stay in the waiting room and read a book for pleasure, help another child with homework or play with an accompanying child depending on age, sort through your photos...Just some ideas. |
dancingsunflowers06
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Member Offline
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Bless your heart. There are some great suggestions here. Get help with anything else that you can if your budget allows so you can focus on what's most important. Also, as hard as it can be, remember to take time for yourself and for you and your hubby. Staying strong together through the busyness of life is going to help out alot. Hang in there!
mommato2lilmonkeys |
Anonymous
| I quit my job. We have multiple appointments a week and school 30 minutes away. |
Anonymous
| I left my career and went into another one that allowed more flexible schedule and opportunity to work at home. I'm sorry OP we all know what you're going through. Just take it week by week, make sure you schedule sanity breaks for yourself. |