6 yo threatening to run away
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Anonymous
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DD is 6. She's a handful. Lots of anxiety and her default mode is defensive & angry when she's home. (She's an angel at school or with friends). She's been in therapy in the past, but really improved, so we stopped.
Anyway, she has threatened to run away several times in the last few days. She hasn't gotten very far -- last night she unlocked the side door, today she opened it without leaving -- but she's been home from school for about 30 minutes and has threatened it twice. I know that she is very anxious about the end of the school year. She doesn't want Kindergarten to end and is afraid of first grade. She might also be afraid of summer, but she hasn't been able to explain that. I've been firm, but matter of fact about her declarations that she's running away. I let her get as far as the door without physically intervening. We have an alarm system that alerts with the name of the door/window every time something opens, so she isn't going to sneak out. Any suggestions about how to handle this? What to say to her or how to make this stop? I hate it, but I can't let her see that or she will do it constantly to get my goat. |
Anonymous
| If she is anxious, have you tried drawing her out and talking to her about it? Is there anything fun you could plan or do to take her mind off her anxiety? I would be very concerned that a 6 year old is saying these things. I would also get her into therapy. To me, this doesn't at all sound like an issue that you should solve with discipline. |
Anonymous
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I would take her back to therapy.
In the meantime, would she like a special journal and special pens that she can use to draw or write about her feelings? |
Anonymous
| Is she very upset when she is trying to run away? Anxiety gives some kids a fight-or-flight response. What about taking her on a run (together obviously)? |
Anonymous
| Offer to make her a sandwich and help pack a suitcase. She wants to run away from her problems, from her fear. |
Anonymous
To an anxious child, this might signal a parent's indifference and rejection. You have to tread carefully with anxious kids. |
dancingsunflowers06
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Hey there - sorry to hear you are going through this with your daughter. As a mom, that has to be scary even if she doesn't get very far. I recently came across some great articles about strong-willed children when researching discipline for my kiddos (ages 5 and 8), maybe this one will help your situation? http://bit.ly/1cQJPzo
I know it mentions counseling in the article. Might be something to consider since it helped her previously. Blessings mama! mommato2lilmonkeys |
Anonymous
This sounds like a very bad idea to me. She's not 13, she's 6! |
Anonymous
Different poster, but I did the same thing when I was 6 or 7. I even packed a suitcase and walked about a mile away in our neighborhood. My mom said fine, didn't come after me and didn't make a big deal about it. After a while, I walked back on my own and no one said a word. Never tried it again. She's doing it to get attention. Don't "rise" to the occasion on this one and don't make a big deal about it. |
Anonymous
| OP can you update on this? Its a scenario that terrifies me and I actually had it with my DD when she was 3 and was trying to open the front door in the middle of tantrums / melt-downs. I completely understood her impulse to get the hell out, but obviously stopped her and was quite worried about it recurring later on when she's a bit older. She is now 7 and quite security conscious but you never know. |
Anonymous
When a very young child wants attention, you give it to the child. Unless there's something manipulative, mean, or destructive going on. What in the world? That's a very sad story -- a little girl age 6 runs away and no one says a word????? My god. I would be appalled. |
Anonymous
| I would contact the therapist to ask how to respond and when his/her next opening is so you can start back up with dd. |
Anonymous
My anxious now 7 year old did this several times (the threat) when he was 6. Last summer he drew a map where he'd to and I ignored it. He finally opened the door and left. I was terrified. I knew if I ran after him he would always do this (actually leave). I watched him out the window. I waited until 18 minutes passed. I was starting towards the door to get him when I saw him coming up the path. I ducked out of site from the front door and he walked in. He was sad I didn't go after him but I explained that I didn't want him to leave but also didn't want him threatening to leave all the time either. He has never done it again....not even threatened it. That was 11 mo. ago. |
Anonymous
| My mom helped pack my bag and. Told me don't cross any streets. I don't remember what happened next. I wouldn't take that approach. |
Anonymous
| Take the packing suitcase, making sandwich thing a bit farther. Tell her sometimes YOU think about running away. Maybe she wants to run away together? Turn it into a game. Pack the food, pack the suitcase. Maybe even run away to a hotel tonight? |