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Are you ever able to get out of the house with your baby?
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Anonymous
| I have a three month old daughter. I would love to take her out to do things - whether it be attending a mother's group, a child's b-day party, or just going to the grocery store - but find that it is soooo difficult because of her nap schedule. She needs to sleep literally EVERY two hours. If she doesn't, she becomes unbearably cranky. When she was a newborn, she had no problem falling asleep in her car seat and being generally portable, but now she only likes sleeping when she is laying down. When we have no choice (such as when we are driving back from grandma's), she will fall asleep in her car seat but only after fussing/crying for a period of time. I find it very difficult to ever leave the house with her other than for short walks in the stroller. Now that it is so cold, we can't even do that. By the time I feed her, change her, get her into the car, and get somewhere, we have about a half hour window to get something done before she wants to fall asleep again! She is a champion sleeper at night (typically sleeps straight through the night from about 6:45pm to 5:30 or 6:00am) and is getting plenty of sleep so I sometimes wonder why she needs so much sleep during the day. Is this amount of sleep typical? Her naps during the day are typically anywhere between 45 minutes and 1 hour, 15 minutes each. She is a very happy baby unless she is tired or hungry so I hate to disrupt her sleep schedule. I see other mothers out and about with their babies all the time and I wonder how they do it!!!!! Please help - do I just have to deal with my current house arrest or is there some way to encourage some flexibility on her part (in terms of where/how she naps)? |
Anonymous
| Your baby's schedule sounds exactly like mine was. Yes, she does need this much sleep so respect her naptime as much as possible. Sorry to say, you'll probably just have to wait this out! It doesn't last forever. In a few months she'll consolidate her napping into 2 longer ones and getting out will get easier. In the meantime, take advantage of warmer days to get out for longer walks. Hang in there. Logistically, this is the hardest time. |
Anonymous
| I posted the exact thing a few months ago when my baby was 4 months old. It gets better. I just started taking DS out despite his schedule and he would sleep in the stroller or carseat. It was much warmer out though. Hang in there, it will get better. |
Anonymous
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I agree with the PP. It's a pain. The first 6 months you have to just deal with lots of napping and being stuck at home.
It's better for your baby to sleep in her crib and not in the car or stroller. The car or stroller is okay in a pinch, but most days she should nap in her crib as much as possible. Then she won't be dependent on the movement of a car/stroller to fall asleep. I had a few friends that regretted choosing the car or stroller because they even needed them at night to get their babies down to sleep. In the meantime, you will find that there is a little stretch in there where you can run out with her most days. I would take my son to the Mall or grocery store as soon as he'd wake up. I'd feed him, change him and run out the door. I could get to the store in about 15 minutes, get an hour to shop, then run back home in time for the next nap. This time will pass! Before you know it, your baby will be down to 2 naps then 1...and then there's plenty of time to run errands and visit. Some people will insist that you ignore the baby's schedule and just do what you want (my Mom is in that camp). But I personally found it was worth a little sacrifice on my part to get my son's sleep schedule on track. |
Anonymous
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I found this extremely difficult for the first few months (well, I'd say months 2-6). My DD is as you describe but would only nap for 30 minutes, TO THE SECOND. By 6 mos. her naps started to consolidate and there were blocks of time that we could go out and do things.
I am of the stick to routine and respect baby's nap schedule, as well. I credit that approach with at least partially being the reason I now have such a good sleeper. ANd, I find that we can deviate from the routine once in a while and she can adapt more quickly and then revert back to routine. Just my 2 cents. |
Anonymous
| I am in an opposite camp. Getting out is VERY important for mama, it is a huge preventative of PPD. MY ds would sleep in the sling, stroller, wrap or wherever. One great outing is the new mothers' group at the Breastfeeding Center on K Street. By the way, my son is one and at about 7-8 months when his naps spaced out, we switched to a more rigid schedule w/ only a few weeks' transition. Besides, if you ever have another one it's not like you'll be able to sit around the house for 4 months and not take your other child *anywhere* so why not be more flexible with number one? |
Anonymous
Many people do stay home even with a second one. |
Anonymous
| I have an almost 8 month old and it is still a pain to get out. |
Anonymous
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OP - I feel for you. I think a lot depends on 1) the tolerance of the infanct and 2) the tolerance, esp with regard to dealing with the repercussions of the parent. My DS was easy and happy to get out as an infant - would sleep anywhere and we had no difficulty getting him to sleep at home in his crib either.
It really is balancing act taking care of DC and your needs - DC comes first but if this is a real significant issue for you I would continue to try on a limited basis getting out to different venues. I am sure you have considered this but what about having someone watch DC for an hour or two or perhaps visiting friends / family at their homes ( or hosting them at your house) so DC can sleep in perferred position. When I was on maternity leave I would have different friends / co-workers over for lunch at least once per week. I am expecting twins now and I am very nervous at the notion of taking 3 - two infants and a 20 month old toddker out by myself! |
Anonymous
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I agree with PP - it really depends on you and tolerance. I would just go with your baby's cues.
By the way, I am not understanding what the big deal is if she falls asleep in the stroller or car seat as you do your errands. So baby cries and fusses a little. That is actually ok since she needs to learn how to fall asleep by herself. Since you say she is a champion sleeper then be happy. Most people on this forums are just the opposite - they can't get their babies to go to sleep so enjoy the peace and quiet. Nap schedules will change soon. The 3 and 6 month growth spurts put my DD (now 8 months) into a tail spin as well as the onset of teething at 4 months. Hang in there... |
HrCreuzi
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I have a 3.5 month old and we get out at least once a week to a mothers group. We also run errands, visit friends, etc. Sure we have to plan to leave way in advance, but we're staying flexible. I do have to put up with some fussing, but I've found ways to get her to sleep, in my arms, a sling, etc.
I think it's VERY important to get out, especially as a new mom and during the dark months. We can get out, do things AND be moms. Good luck, and please be sure to get out, it is wonderful! |
Anonymous
| It is wonderful if you can tolerate the fussing. Lots of us are not those people. I wish I were but have finally come around to accepting the fact that I'm not. It does make those first months hard but by 7-8 mos., when naps consolidate, it gets better and somewhat easier to plan outings. |
Anonymous
| This is the OP - thanks for all the replies. Unfortunately, she does not just "fuss" when we are out and she wants to go to sleep - she full out cries until she tires herself out and then will fall asleep in her car seat or stroller. At home, when she starts to get tired I just put her in her crib and she goes to sleep almost immediately. Aside from the fact that I hate to make her scream/cry when it is entirely avoidable, I am also one of those people who gets easily embarrassed in public! I literally get all hot and flushed when we are out and she goes into one of her fits. I once took her out in the stroller for a fairly long errand to the local verizon store so that I could get a new cell phone. She got tired once we were there and started fussing/crying. She wouldn't even stop when I picked her up and rocked her! She only stopped crying once we were outside/on the walk home due to pure exhaustion. Needless to say, I was quite embarrassed and was very thankful that the store was almost empty! |
Anonymous
| If you don't feel comfortable having her cry in public then stay home and within the next couple of months you'll notice she's starting to consolidate those naps. I'm also a firm believer of sleeping in the crib and didn't leave the house as much early on with my first. By about 4-5 months he was taking two big naps a day and I was able to start heading out more regularly. For now, use the phone as much as you can and when hubby gets home see if you can get out for a bit. |
Anonymous
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Have you thought about joining a gym? At our gym (Gold's in Alexandria), the nursery has cribs and swings and lots of the little ones nap while mom works out. It gets you out of the house, it gets you some exercise (especially since it's too cold to go out) and you might even make some new SAHM friends!!
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