Reset relationship by dating others?
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Anonymous
| Reconciling with ex. Seems like ex dated a lot more. Not exclusive yet. Was honest and said I think I might have to go on and date others while deciding on whether to be exclusive or not. Truthfully not interested in the others interested in me but feel I should keep dating too just to make things "even" with ex. |
Anonymous
| Do not date to get even with ex. If you feel the need to do that then you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone, and certainly not your ex. It's fine to take your time to make a commitment and date other people, but not for the reason you describe. Impossibly immature. |
Anonymous
Get over your game playing. |
Anonymous
+1. Either there is something between you or there isn't. |
Incognita
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| This won't give you the satisfaction you think it will... |
Anonymous
Why do you say that? |
Incognita
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Well I've had a friend do this exact same thing. Basically what happened is she dated other people "just because", met a bunch of assholes, was completely unfulfilling, the guys just wanted to hook up. I think she thought she wanted to hook up too, but then felt really cheapened by it. Then she decided she wanted to be back with the ex, only he wanted to discuss all that had happened while she saw other people. Of course like most men he wasn't to thrilled about her seeing a bunch of random men. She thought expressing that she knew the whole time she wanted to be with him anyway but was just "seeing what was out there". He accepted it, but never really acted the same towards her. Maybe he knew that she did it out of contempt, or maybe he also felt she was cheapened by the ordeal.
Point is, him waiting around for her to want to be serious again while she messed around just for the sake of getting back at him didn't get either of them back to where they wanted to be. And I think women take it much harder on themselves for dating the way guys do... I'd say skip the games OP. If you want to get back together now, do so and accept you both dated other people. The quantity is irrelevant. If you are just not ready to settle back down for your own reasons, keep dating. But also understand that he will probably keep dating as well, so your idea of catching up to him will probably never happen, or worst he will simply move on. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
+2 Do you want to get back with this guy, or not? I don't think I'd react well to being told "I need to play the field a bit more to see if I can find someone better, or if I'm just going to have to settle for you." |
Anonymous
+3 I was a virgin when I met my DH. I fell in love with him and he actually wanted me to date other men so I would be "sure" I wanted him and wouldn't have any regrets about him being my only one. I was shocked. I told him that no, I wouldn't date other men. I wasn't going to waste my time (or theirs) by dating them when I knew I wanted my DH. Nor would I have slept with them to see what it was like. I would have felt like a whore and chances are, he would have thought I was even though it was his idea. I have only been with my husband and never regretted it. Sex skills can be learned by anyone. You don't need to sleep with a bunch of people to figure things out. That may make you a better lover or it might NOT. My DH wasn't great in bed until I had to show him what I needed. So the number of people you sleep with does not make you a good lover. |
Anonymous
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PP 23:08, is it really necessary to judge and call women whores for having sex? It's lovely that you found the right one and are content. I agree that you don't need to sleep with more people to be a good lover and be happy. However, if your husband wasn't a virgin, you probably don't consider him a whore. Please, can we drop the misogynist, antiquated, double-standard judgments. . . .
To OP, it's probably enough that you just said that to him. No need to act on it. It seems that if you're going to get back together, you do need to resolve issues so you can move on without a ton of baggage. |
Anonymous
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If you are keeping score OP, then it sounds like you are treating this whole situation as a game. No offense.
And since that is the case, then you sound quite immature to me to even be in an exclusive relationship at this point. |
Anonymous
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Whole thing sounds juvenile.
On/off relationship coupled with "getting even" cause he dated more than you while apart sounds like some high school sophomore type shit. |