How to feel about this?

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[Post New]07/28/2014 18:52
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Anonymous
My sister is executor of my parents will. They died. Anyway, she lied to me and told me she lent them $20 000 a month before they died. So she wanted that money back from the estate. I said fine, if you can show me a check or a money transfer from your acct to theirs, then that is fine. If not, then sorry I don't believe you lent them money.

I am 100% sure she didn't lend them any money because she had no money whatsoever. I will not go into details about how I know this. But I know this.


It's been a year now. The estate is settled and she never got that money and in reviewing things, I never saw anything to indicate the transfer of money. She has never mentioned it since.

We are otherwise close but she cannot be trusted with money. I just find it hard to forget this happened.

So my question is: would this affect your on going relationship?
[Post New]07/28/2014 18:54
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Anonymous
Obviously, yes.
[Post New]07/28/2014 18:55
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Anonymous
I have tried to forget it but I wonder if that was a mistake. Am I a wimp?
[Post New]07/28/2014 18:56
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Anonymous
People show you through their actions how much they can be trusted.
[Post New]07/28/2014 18:57
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Anonymous
OP again, I almost feel I put those feelings to the side to deal with the grief and I sort of left it unaddressed.

[Post New]07/28/2014 19:11
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP again, I almost feel I put those feelings to the side to deal with the grief and I sort of left it unaddressed.



I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

It's is a shame that your sister got greedy, which I guess would be the reason of trying to get more money out of what was left. It would be hard for me to get past this too in terms of trust.

My sister lies to me about small things, which makes me think she'd have no compunction about lying about big things.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:16
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Muslima
Member

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If you think this will affect your relationship, the best thing to do is talk to her about it, and how you feel about her lying to you. Give her a chance to tell her side of the story, and also share how you feel about the whole ordeal. You are sisters for life, don't let money come between you~

What's it like being Muslim? Well, it's hard to find a decent halal pizza place and occasionally there is a hashtag calling for your genocide...
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again, I almost feel I put those feelings to the side to deal with the grief and I sort of left it unaddressed.



I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

It's is a shame that your sister got greedy, which I guess would be the reason of trying to get more money out of what was left. It would be hard for me to get past this too in terms of trust.

My sister lies to me about small things, which makes me think she'd have no compunction about lying about big things.


I also felt very much I the dark about all things financial. It was like pulling teeth to get any info out of her.
I always wonder if she stole money. I wonder if there were additional accounts I never knew about.
I like her as a person but I don't trust her with money.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:21
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Anonymous
Muslima wrote:If you think this will affect your relationship, the best thing to do is talk to her about it, and how you feel about her lying to you. Give her a chance to tell her side of the story, and also share how you feel about the whole ordeal. You are sisters for life, don't let money come between you~



I felt her instantly back off when I didn't believe it. I think she thought I would be stupid and just go with it blindly. She would be VERY VERY uncomfortable if I mentioned it again. She hates conflict,
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:25
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Anonymous
Okay you are extremely naïve to say I like her as a person I just don't trust her with money if a person is untrustworthy they are untrustworthy, PERIOD. It's not situational it's not circumstantial it's character. To be honest, I probably wouldn't bring it up to her I just know she's untrustworthy and that's how I deal with her from now on
I've known a few pathological liars in my life, and one thing I've learned is that it's a waste of your time energy and emotions to try to get the truth out of someone who does not know what truth is.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:30
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Okay you are extremely naïve to say I like her as a person I just don't trust her with money if a person is untrustworthy they are untrustworthy, PERIOD. It's not situational it's not circumstantial it's character. To be honest, I probably wouldn't bring it up to her I just know she's untrustworthy and that's how I deal with her from now on
I've known a few pathological liars in my life, and one thing I've learned is that it's a waste of your time energy and emotions to try to get the truth out of someone who does not know what truth is.


I don't think I am naive. I would trust her with most things but she is very greedy and money hungry.
I can talk to her for hours about other things. If I needed help with anything (moving, anything kid related). She would be the first one there.
She has never lied about anything to me, besides money. With regards to money, she will lie, cheat and steal.
She used to be a frequent shoplifter.

Thanks for the advice. I will give some thought to what you said.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:35
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Okay you are extremely naïve to say I like her as a person I just don't trust her with money if a person is untrustworthy they are untrustworthy, PERIOD. It's not situational it's not circumstantial it's character. To be honest, I probably wouldn't bring it up to her I just know she's untrustworthy and that's how I deal with her from now on
I've known a few pathological liars in my life, and one thing I've learned is that it's a waste of your time energy and emotions to try to get the truth out of someone who does not know what truth is.


I don't think I am naive. I would trust her with most things but she is very greedy and money hungry.
I can talk to her for hours about other things. If I needed help with anything (moving, anything kid related). She would be the first one there.
She has never lied about anything to me, besides money. With regards to money, she will lie, cheat and steal.
She used to be a frequent shoplifter.

Thanks for the advice. I will give some thought to what you said.

Baby, I am not being me, believe me. A liar. Just lie about something if they lie, they lie.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:37
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Anonymous
OP, I see no value in rehashing this with her. You both know what happened, and what she tried to do. It seems reasonable to me to continue as you have, by remaining friendly but not very close, and never trusting her with money or other valuables. I'm sorry for your loss, and that your sister has such a major fault.
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:39
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Okay you are extremely naïve to say I like her as a person I just don't trust her with money if a person is untrustworthy they are untrustworthy, PERIOD. It's not situational it's not circumstantial it's character. To be honest, I probably wouldn't bring it up to her I just know she's untrustworthy and that's how I deal with her from now on
I've known a few pathological liars in my life, and one thing I've learned is that it's a waste of your time energy and emotions to try to get the truth out of someone who does not know what truth is.


I don't think I am naive. I would trust her with most things but she is very greedy and money hungry.
I can talk to her for hours about other things. If I needed help with anything (moving, anything kid related). She would be the first one there.
She has never lied about anything to me, besides money. With regards to money, she will lie, cheat and steal.
She used to be a frequent shoplifter.

Thanks for the advice. I will give some thought to what you said.

Baby, I am not being me, believe me. A liar. Just lie about something if they lie, they lie.

I meant, not trying to be mean
[Post New]07/28/2014 19:49
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Anonymous
That was pretty bad. She was trying deceive you to steal from you and your parents. But as PP suggested, you should try to work things out since she is family.
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