Jewish Bris with no family attending?

Anonymous
We really don't want or need family traipsing in from across the country just 8 days after a planned CS for #2. I just don't want the stress and hassle of them being around that early on (we tried it with #1 and have some regrets about having that much family around when DH and I were so new to parenting). We have no family in DC. Is it possible to have a small, nuclear family-only bris? Or is that a strange thing to do in the Jewish community?
Anonymous
I don't think its strange since your family isn't local, it's isn't as if your not including your inlaws who live down the street.
jindc
Member Offline
agree - some more religious mohels migh care, but for the most part I think you'll be fine. Ours asked what we planned on having, I said just immediate family, very small group (logistics and ability to fit that many people in my home)
mazel tov!
Anonymous
Check that ur mohel doesn't need a minyan first of all. And I totally agrese, I hate the fact that I had two boys, so eight days later the whole planet arrived. But I think your idea is brilliant. Maybe invite a couple local Jewish friends, that way you'll have witnesses, sandeks, etc...
Anonymous
how about get the procedure done in the hospital, then do a naming ceremony sometime in the next year or so?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:how about get the procedure done in the hospital, then do a naming ceremony sometime in the next year or so?


Great idea, in theory, but just having the medical procedure is not the same as a bris. (Not op btw). A bris is a religious ceremony, that happens to have a medical component. Would make it easier though!
Anonymous
We are in the same potential boat (we aren't finding out gender, but family is all out of town). A minyan isn't needed. So we would like our parents and siblings to be there, but don't plan on a whole big shabang like for ds when we lived near family. Only a very few new casual friends locally, so likely no friends either. I don't think it's common in the community, but it's certainly done in situations like ours.
Anonymous
We just had a bris for our DS. It was only me and (non-jewish) DH, plus my sister and my (non-jewish) MIL. Nice and easy! Our Mohel didn't seem to think it was strange.
Anonymous
It's okay. You can do a big naming later, or not. Some people aren't into big hooplas.
Anonymous
My SIL had the bris a month later for her sons. Said day 8 made her nervous.
Anonymous
I asked my Cantor about baby naming and she said that it is done at the bris, that it wouldn't make sense to have a different event with it.

I've come to terms with that and we are having a pidyon haben instead. The naming was important to me, but thats ok!

I think youll be fine, op, with whatever can work for your family. I'm of the belief that these expectations (food, lots of people) are for those who live near family who can do everything for them!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I asked my Cantor about baby naming and she said that it is done at the bris, that it wouldn't make sense to have a different event with it.

I've come to terms with that and we are having a pidyon haben instead. The naming was important to me, but thats ok!

I think youll be fine, op, with whatever can work for your family. I'm of the belief that these expectations (food, lots of people) are for those who live near family who can do everything for them!


Not op, but very clever solution! Won't work if op is a Cohen or levy though... You sound like a very together person!
jindc
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I asked my Cantor about baby naming and she said that it is done at the bris, that it wouldn't make sense to have a different event with it.

I've come to terms with that and we are having a pidyon haben instead. The naming was important to me, but thats ok!

I think youll be fine, op, with whatever can work for your family. I'm of the belief that these expectations (food, lots of people) are for those who live near family who can do everything for them!


Not op, but very clever solution! Won't work if op is a Cohen or levy though... You sound like a very together person!


thanks (this was me, looks like I got booted off).
It is lame that baby namings can't take place later, when you are more....alive (?) as a parent. It's a special moment, IMO, if the name means something to you. We are having the woman who bat mitzvah's me and married us do the baby naming at the bris even if it's just a few people there.

You can also have just a reception at synagogue that more people can attend - sponsor an oneg or kiddish in honor of your new child a few months after birth. It would very much appreciated by the congregation, maybe they give you an aliya or something?

Anonymous
jindc wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I asked my Cantor about baby naming and she said that it is done at the bris, that it wouldn't make sense to have a different event with it.

I've come to terms with that and we are having a pidyon haben instead. The naming was important to me, but thats ok!

I think youll be fine, op, with whatever can work for your family. I'm of the belief that these expectations (food, lots of people) are for those who live near family who can do everything for them!


Not op, but very clever solution! Won't work if op is a Cohen or levy though... You sound like a very together person!


thanks (this was me, looks like I got booted off).
It is lame that baby namings can't take place later, when you are more....alive (?) as a parent. It's a special moment, IMO, if the name means something to you. We are having the woman who bat mitzvah's me and married us do the baby naming at the bris even if it's just a few people there.

You can also have just a reception at synagogue that more people can attend - sponsor an oneg or kiddish in honor of your new child a few months after birth. It would very much appreciated by the congregation, maybe they give you an aliya or something?



Ooh, I'm the pp who doesn't know gender yet but if it's a boy will likely also have a tiny bris. I really like this idea of hosting a kiddush later on. You don't really need a religious reason to do one, so it would be nice to have another gathering when I'm not 8 days post partum, and some more family can attend. Even though we don't have many close friends locally, it would be a way of connecting with the community in general.
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