
I have lived in Silver Spring and Bethesda and must agree that the people are surprisingly rude. I walked a lot with my baby in a stroller and had at least one experience a day where I was dodging rude people on the sidewalks or (worse) drivers (when I had the right of way!). I couldn't figure it out.
This wasn't just in the downtown areas, it was all over Montgomery County. I'd be in a parking lot at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods and cars would pull right into me when I was getting my daughter out of the stroller. Having moved from the Northeast and lived in a couple of major cities (Boston, NYC) I just couldn't understand why people were aiming their cars at a woman with a baby. We moved to Virginia and the difference was remarkable. We live in Fairfax but the people have been SO MUCH nicer. As for the taxes, Montgomery County is way too high. We didn't get enough benefits from the chunk we were losing out of our paychecks and general taxes and insurance. If you have a smaller income to survive on, I highly recommend that you stay in VA. You'll even save money by moving to VA from DC. |
Once you decide, see if you can find a realtor who really knows some of the neighborhoods. I think there are lots of great pockets in every neighborhood and you just have to find them. We had no idea when we bought our house that they have a community block party every 3-4 months. It was just icing on the cake (we live in Mclean). I also rented (pre-kids) in a neighborhood in Arlington years ago that would block off the street for halloween so the kids could let loose. Two streets over the neighbors were less than friendly. You never know. I obviously vote for Virginia but regardless, when you go visit potential rentals, scope out the neighborhood. Who's got b-ball hoops and cozy coupes in the driveway? See if you can walk around (I realize this time of year stinks) and if people will look you in the eye and say hello. I think for your price you should be able to find something you like but Clarendon may be tough. Just follow the metro west -- East Falls Church is a fantastic community by the way -- and see how prices stack up. |
I agree that the "small house" comment wasn't that bad. I'm not sure what the OP means by "staying away" from that kind of thing? Doesn't seem to me to reflect poorly on people that they can't afford a huge house or that they choose to spend their money on other things. So why so defensive, OP?
FWIW, my DH is a partner in a law firm and we can afford the big houses in McLean and Bethesda. However, we choose to live in a smaller house in close-in Arlington because we love being able to walk to shops, etc. Arlington has tons of great parks and the people are friendly. I don't think the schools are so great, so my kids go to private school. Several neighbors, however, love the schools here. |
I myself don't find any difference between the rudeness in Montgomery County and the rudeness in Arlington/Clarendon. In Bethesda there's a lot of entitlement, but that's true in NoVA too. Like a PP, I'd say that VA has the advantage of more or better public universities. Arlington also has the advantage of amazing terrific to the Mall and downtown DC. MD has the advantage of proximity to NW DC and places such as Politics and Prose that are important to me. I live in MD for that reason, for proximity to friends, and for the political climate of my immediate area. |
Hi-
We have 2 small kids and live in Arlington. Our neighborhoold is called Arlington Heights and it's just over on the South side of Route 50 which makes it South Arlington. We LOVE our neighborhood. I can walk to Clarendon with the kids in about 20 minutes, there are a HUGE am't of kids in our neighborhood, our neighbors are all very nice and there are block parties, etc. In the warmer months all the kids end up playing outside with eachother taking turns in various yards and the adults hang out and have a glass of wine or beer, etc. The elementary school, Patrick Henry, is also very good- As good as any elementary school in North Arlington. Many times people build on to their houses rather than moving or end up buying a bigger house right in the neighborhood. I am not sure if anything is on the rental market, but it's a neighborhood worth checking out. I almost forgot-- We are also very clost to Columbia Pike which has a couple good restaurants (Bangkok 54!!) and the Cinema and Draft House. There is a farmer's market on Sundays where kids and their families flock. There are also at least 8 parks walking distance from our house. The overall attitude here is "What is the size of your world view- Not the sixe of your hummer" as someone once put it to me... Good luck to you! Oh-- and the 'hood is very democratic if that matters to you. Lots of Obama fans here (including us!!) |
I grew up in Baltimore, have lived in VA (Fredericksburg for a year and Alexandria for two years....I won't count my Fredericksburg experience in this post!). I lived in Bethesda for a year and I now live in Gaithersburg.
DC is not a warm city. People are ruder in Bethesda, but I think Bethesda is nicer than Clarendon as a whole. The main part of Clarendon has become very nice, but the roads in VA as a whole are less commutable. There is more infrastructure (sp?) in MD because it's an older area so you can take back roads more often. I don't care about the Jonses, so I feel no need to keep up with them. You will experience less of that if you live in a single family over a townhome or apartment no matter where you are. You just don't have to associate with your neighbors as often. VA and MD both have great schools, so don't put that too much into your equation. I lived in a great area of Alexandria, and there were more gangs even there than there are here. I very rarely hear about gang activity around my house in MD, but it exists everywhere. As far as others go, I'd agree that people tend to seem nicer in VA, but when I go out for the day with my baby girl.....Montgomery Mall is so nice and makes a great day where people talk to her and are friendly and when I go to Tyson's it's like war of the Mommies and people are nasty. I once was even called a b**ch by a woman because I inadvertantly walked through a door I thought she was holding for me and I guess she wasn't. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about other people. They are both nice places to live and the differences in attitude are very small at this point. Your children's values will be more reflected by you than the other kids at school. Taxes are never a huge issue for me. They get you somehow. There is not a state you will live in that will not get your tax money. They may call it something else, and your paycheck may be higher, but I wouldn't make it a huge factor. Maybe if it's the last deciding factor, VA would be better. There used to be an article on Washingtonian written a few years ago weighing VA and MD as places to live. We moved from VA to MD and although our paychecks were lower and our home taxes were higher.....it really didn't do much to lower our standard of living. Your price range per month is very high. You could afford a little over $300K for a house with no downpayment. Why not look for a condo or townhome since you don't seem to mind an apartment? All you need to make it worthwhile is to live in it for 2 years and you won't pay taxes on what equity it may gain in that time and this is a reat market to buy if you have nothing to sell. As far as buying, you'd get more bang for your buck in MD. When we look at houses in Bethesda Vs. Clarendon (we have, since my husband works in Arlington), in Bethesday we can get a 2K sq. ft. house built in the last 30 years with a garage that has been updated, or in Clarendon we can get a house that's around 100 years old that is tiny. We both work for the Federal Government, so we're not swimming in pools of money either, but it seems you make enough to look where you want to look. |
It is so funny that yu mention you had these experiences because I felt the same way in Bethesda. I worked there for four years and it was the worst. I felt like if I was crossing the street sometimes I would really get hit. (But I get this everyday in downtown DC so...) I had come from being in Old Town, where everyone is so much more friendly and laid back, and it was quite an adjustment. I grew up in NO VA so I know I'm partial but, my vote is for VA. |
I grew up in Bethesda -- lived there for 20+ years. I now live in Vienna.
I think Bethesda is a little bit "nicer" than Clarendon -- more restaurants, better shops, and less close to some less-desireable neighborhoods. Bethesda is also, I think, a little less urban.... so I think that explains a lot of it. I think Clarendon is closer to downtown DC,... so if you're looking for a more urban environment, Clarendon might be it. I think the schools (in Bethesda) are also a wee little bit better. But, based on my own experiences in MD and VA, I think people in Virginia are just a touch more civil to one another. I think its a bit of the south creeping up... and its just my personal experience. If you're non-profit, and running on a somewhat tighter budget, Virginia is NOTICEABLY cheaper. Its true that Arlington is a Democratic stronghold, and even places like Falls Church, Fairfax, etc. are becoming more Democratic. But the state government is much more conservative than Maryland. One final suggestion... You mention you want urban/close-in... but you also want good schools, community, parks... You might want to consider Falls Church. It is definitely its own little town (unlike Rosslyn - Ballston which seems to just kind of blur together). It has great schools, lovely parks and neighborhoods, a terrific farmers market... but it is a little further out. Depending on where you work downtown, if you're on the red line, Bethesda is probably closer... but if you're on the Orange/Blue line, Falls Church is really a comparable commute. Clarendon is definitely closer. Good luck! |
You've probably already considered this, but why not stay in the city? at $25000-3000 you should be able to get a nice 2-bedroom here. If your DC is school age, I am sure good schools are top of mind, but between a number of new charter schools and some of the good public ones in the upper NW, you might be able to make that work. More and more people with families are living in cities like NY and San Fran and I personally wish it would happen in DC too!
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OP here - thanks for all of the advice. (Other than the person who called a poster a b**ch) Anyway...
We have considered over and over again just staying int he city, but it seems that every week there are awful stories coming out about DC schools, etc...and then we panic! I grew up in an area similar to Bethesda - and I couldn't stand it, which is why we live in the city now! Tough decision, but I appreciate everyone sharing. BTW - I don't think DC is a rude city. I think people are shy/nervous about approaching people due to all of the transplants, but overall, I think it's been very friendly. |
lets say OP makes $125,000/yr, after tax would be $7K/mo roughly? $2.5K - $3K of rent is 36% - 43% of that take home money. this illustrates how much housing costs are eating up average people's disposable income. no wonder we're in a recession.
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You can definitely find a place to rent in Arlington for less than $2500. However, I don't think you would find anything right near the metro. However, there are many cute neighborhoods close to Clarendon that might be a little cheaper because they are not right on the metro line. I second the poster who said you might want to look at Falls Church. There has been a lot of development there in the past couple of years and they have many more shops and restaurants. I, too, love the farmer's market there, and it is still really close to DC. |
People keep mentioning Falls Church. I personally LOVE Falls Church. I go to their Farmers Market (one of the best in the DC area, IMHO). And it's pretty in downtown Falls Church and walkable.
But the downside is that it's not close-in to DC (like Clarendon or Bethesda) and be aware that Falls Church City has all kind of additional taxes. LOTS of taxes. It's lovely though. |
OP here - that's pretty much our exact situation. After maxing out retirement and putting $ into a 529, we only take home about $6,000/month. Our rent and childcare now take up more than HALF of that. After that, we still need to put $ into savings, food, bills, etc. I don't understand how housing costs got so out of control. |
I agree. Housing here is crazy expensive. I do like though that at least we have good schools and a lot of culure-rich activities. At least we get something for the money besides the house. Anyway, I know there are other cities that are less expensive with similar pluses, but I'm happy here and don't see much reason to complain. I don't know why so many people on here seem to hate DC. Every place has it's good and bad points to look at. I think there's very little difference between NoVA and Montgomery County now. It's certainly not a culture shock. |