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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Can anything be done about the nastiness on this forum?
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Anonymous
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I participate on another forum where you are required to sign in with your real name AND there are four full-time moderators who police the board. They will not let you sign up for the board if you don't use your real name. Somehow they reverse look you up or something. The board also has pretty specific rules, some of which we could use around here (for example, search the archives before you post a question). The moderators make no bones about being heavy handed. They take the position that it's not a public forum, it's their forum, so they can delete anything they don't like. It's a message board that is centered around a particular workout methodology and diet, but it strays into all kinds of other topics. (And people can get pretty intense over things like skim vs whole milk on that board, so I guess every topic has its intense people!)
The guiding principle of the board is basically if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It works fairly well. The tone of that community versus this one is drastically different. You also get to make virtual friends with people because you always know to whom you are talking. The problem with applying that construct to DCUMs, though, is that some posts on here need to be anonymous. I'm not sure people would post about marital problems or about concerns about their children if they were for attribution. I am not sure what we do about it, except perhaps to try to police ourselves and other posters. I sometimes jump in when I think somebody is being unnecessarily too harsh to an OP. I think people ought to be able to post a question about whether they have a good pay package for a nanny without getting raked over the coals for how little time they are spending with their kids. That's just one example. Even after the OP got on and responded she was going through a divorce, people just kept it up. I think that's pretty atrocious. |
Anonymous
| Try babycenter.com if you want nice boring but helpful advice. Come here for witty smart hilariously cynical real life responses to some the thorniest difficult issues in parenting and marriage. with anonymity you get some over agressive, cowardly attacks--but you also get a confessional level of brutal honesty which I find nowhere else in the DC area anyway. There are tiimes when the super judgmental types savagely attack--it can be very depressing but these people are dealt with by the group in a pretty healthy way. |
Anonymous
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I know that many of my immediate circle are DCUM addicts. I know that a large number post frequently. I suspect, but cannot be sure, that at least a few of the not so nice posts are from my circle of friends. I find it fascinating and a fair warning that what may appear on the surface -- nice, polite, caring -- is not so.
A great lesson. A great social experiment. Don't tinker, Jeff. Preserve anonymity. No chill on free speech. |
Anonymous
I'm constantly looking for clues but so far haven't been able to identify anyone I know. |
Lab
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Easy there, Oliver Wendell Holmes. No one's talking about taking away your right to say what you want. We're just talking about ways to put the brakes on some of the needless bitchiness. (After posting this, I'm realizing it's needlessly bitchy too. That tells me I'm spending way too much time here. Later.) |
Anonymous
But thats the whole problem-who decides what constitutes needless bitchery? People who curse, people who call other people names, people we just don't agree with? Of course some posts are without a doubt nasty but I don't want to see them deleted-let me make my own decisions on what I can and cannot handle-you don't have to respond if you don't want to-heck, you don't even have to read a post if you don't want to. Right on, fight the power, no chill on free speech! |
Anonymous
| I agree with a few of the earlier posters. We really can't have an honest discussion about the so-called "nastiness" on the forum until we acknowledge that there are a lot of eggshell personalities who post. |
Anonymous
No. You've just made PP's point. It's a slippery slope. |
Anonymous
| I'm just getting tired of nasty posts and don't want to meet other moms from this forum, most of them seems to play double personality. Bye! |