If one more person points out the large age gap between my kids.... (vent)
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Anonymous
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I'm sure the people I only barely know are being kind in their hearts when they learn at some public function that I'm pregnant and gasp, wide-eyed, "Wow, that's a large age gap!"
What I'm sure they really, realllllyyyy mean to say is, "Wow, that's fantastic! The older kids will be so helpful! What a joy to have a little one in your home again!" Seriously, I know it's a large age gap. I can count. Sometimes life doesn't work out how you thought it would. Should I detail for these folks the pregnancy losses, the other difficulties in the past years? Sorry to vent. I recently heard this about 10 times in the space of an hour. |
Anonymous
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That is rude.
I would never say anything like that but I probably would speculate that you and your husband had a rocking sex life and it was an oopsie baby. As long as you are happy about your baby, I'd be happy for you. I am sorry for your losses. It sounds like that is the reason for the age gap for you. Really when it comes to pregnancy, the only things people should say to you is congratulations and if you want to discuss gender or due date, that is up to you. The rest is between you and hubby. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I got that too. People are annoying without usually meaning to be. |
Anonymous
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Yep, people are rude. Sorry OP.
Just a general observation - when someone is an outlier in some way that is very obvious (height, weight, age, age gap between kids, whatever), they already know this and are likely at least a bit self-conscious about it. Commenting on it is rude and thoughtless. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for the support. Yes, I suppose I'm a bit self-conscious, and I'm sure people are trying to be nice -- but are just doing it very clumsily.
15:23, I think my go-to answer will be the rockin' sex life! |
Anonymous
OP, I hope to be in this boat with you someday. And I know people will make comments to me, too. I think my go to answer will be it is what it is, follow by a direct eye contact stare down. 
Congrats on the pregnancy! |
Anonymous
| I'd bet we have a bigger age gap between #3 and #4 but it doesn't affect me at all when outsiders notice. #4 has been pure joy to us. |
Anonymous
| At least they don't come right out and ask "was it an accident?" |
Anonymous
| Oh, I've heard that too!! Just last weekend, from a woman I first met about 20 seconds before she asked the question. |
jindc
Member Offline
Member Offline
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to me, it's always shocking what people say about others reproductive behavior when it doesn't fit their own definition of normal.
There's a Pregnant Chicken section about what to say to people when they ask, "was it an accident". One response was "yes, I just tripped and fell on a dick" |
Anonymous
| I would just respond "Really? I hadn't noticed..." and let them feel awkward because really they are the one who SHOULD feel awkward. |
Anonymous
| Congrats on your pregnancy, OP!! |
Anonymous
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We have a larger gap than we thought between our kids due to multiple second trimester losses. When I was pregnant with our second living child and people brought up the gap it stressed me out because it made me fixate more on the losses. However now that the kid is here, I could care less about the gap and people mention it much less as well.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! |