calling women "ladies"
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Anonymous
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Huh, Ithink threads are converging. Are you not a southerner, by chance?
Ladies is a polite reference, I think. We're not girls, and women is just too abrupt, and I am certainly not a guy (you guys). But context can matter. I first heard ladies used when I was 10 or 11 in gym class. Gym teacher maybe wanted us to feel more grown up? I currently use it most with my 6 year old DD and her friends, or groups that are exclusively female. |
Anonymous
| I think it depends on the workplace. My workplace has a very 50's vibe, where the women tend to take care of things like baking, throwing parties for co-workers getting married or having babies, and making the office look nice. And the men are largely short and/or bald. You get the idea. So in my current workplace, the "Ladies" thing would bother me. In other places I've worked, where things have felt more equal, it would not bother me. |
Anonymous
| what is correct then? In general we get "you guys" and don't really care. The English language is male dominate but I know most guys I run into always say he/she or their even if it doesn't make grammatical sense. |
Freeman
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| As long as it is used in the same settings that "gentlemen" would be appropriate for a group of men(Such as "Ladies and gentlemen, please rise..."), I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and I'm having a hard time coming up with a suitable alternative to use in the same situation. How else would you address a group of women in a professional or formal situation? |
Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
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OP here- wow, I just posted this!
Ladies and gentlemen is completely fine. Female friends who address me and other female friends as "ladies" is totally fine. I think the problem is that it's often used in situations where I see a tinge of sexism anyway. "Ladies, could you get us some coffee?" kind of things. Or maybe because I am aware of the sexism that more subtly takes place in the workplace I see no need to differentiate between me and the men I work with- yes, we're different because of our genders, but when you start treating me differently when asking me about work stuff I wonder what else is going on. |
Anonymous
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OP here again- what got me thinking about this is an email from a man, exclusively to women, asking us all to do something on his behalf.
There's some stuff going on anyway (this is a male friend of my husband's friend, who is asking us about information about children and schools- which I find kinda weird because I don't know him personally, but my husband does - so there seems to be an assumption that I know about schools for our children and my husband doesn't). |
Anonymous
| I do think there is a difference when it's one man addressing a group of women. Just like "negro" was at one point neutral, it would be considered terribly racist today. Ladies isn't as extreme, but because we used to use "ladies" in the workplace to tell them to get coffee, dress cutely, and be a secretary only it might be time for a different term given the associations in that particular environment. |
Anonymous
Seriously? The same way you would address anyone, gender mixed or not: in person, primarily as "You" or in emails, "Hello, everyone" "Dear team" "Hi" |
Anonymous
| So... if I am being addressed as "ladies" within an email, and it does rub me the wrong way, what do I say? |
Freeman
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To be honest, it doesn't sound like the term "ladies" is what you really have the issue with, as much as other actions you've associated with it. If it was instead "Could you get us some coffee?" kinds of things, with no use of the term "ladies", would the situation be any more or less sexist? There's no need to treat genders differently, but I don't expect all forms of address to be completely gender neutral unless there is some other common title used to refer to a group.(Professor, Director, Doctor, Officer, etc.) If no suitable alternative exists, I don't think addressing a group of women as "Ladies" is inherently sexist. However, if I asked most of the ladies I know to get coffee when I was perfectly capable of getting it myself, they would tell me not only where I could find it, but also where I could shove it afterwards 
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Anonymous
I read this and first thought you were just trying to stir up something and that you are completely off. But you know what? Maybe you are right... I *don't* want to be seen primarily as a "lady" when it comes to a professional situation. I want to be seen primarily as a professional, and the need to point out my gender, especially when it comes to tell me to do something is annoying. Maybe it's a generational thing? I'm 40. I remember and still experience sexism in the workplace. |
Anonymous
| I like the term ladies. I think it is respectful, just as gentlemen is respectful for men. Perhaps you would like the term, "Humans with the XX chromosome?" That would be a little cumbersome though. |
Anonymous
| Op, the word lady is a polite term, and a sign of respect |
Anonymous
| This why, when I write a group of women, I'll use "Friends" or "Colleagues." I am sensitive to the way people address me too. Although I don't get too worked up about it. |