Best age to sleeptrain?
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Anonymous
Get back to us after the 4 month sleep regression, when his true sleep habits come out. You can't judge at 12 weeks. |
Anonymous
+1. DD was a GREAT sleeper until the 4 mo sleep regression hit. Went from sleeping 10 hours in a stretch to up every 2. |
Anonymous
Ha! Was just about to write the same thing as the two responders above. Don't jinx yourself! |
chickychen
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| We coslept or had him in the bassinet next to our bed until four months, then moved from a 1 BR to a house. At that point, since we set up his own room, we attempted putting him down in his own crib. Worked wonders, and we didn't have to sleep train, really - just used the same routine. Now his schedule is off after a recent trip that crossed multiple time zones, but even though he is falling asleep later, he is still getting a 10 hour stretch (he's 8 months). FWIW, I'm pasting a link to our previous pediatrician's post on sleep training, which we found helpful - but I am aware it's not for everyone. Good luck to you! http://thenewbasics.com/?book-excerpt=sleep#8sleep |
Anonymous
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OP, you've got two issues here: sleep training and night weaning. I would work on night weaning first. At 5.5 months, your kid doesn't need to eat every two hours. Your gut is right -- he can get by on 2-3 feeds per night. When I night weaned, I decided that, from bedtime to bedtime + 5 hours, the kitchen was closed. If my kid woke up then, he would be soothed to sleep without the boob. This usually meant DH was on point, since DS would get really pissed if I was there and didn't whip it out. Decide when you'll feed and when you'll soothe without feeding, and then start dropping the extra "feeds" one by one.
Once you're down to a reasonable number of feedings at night, then you can work on sleep training. Do your research, pick a method that works for you, and decide on a plan of attack DURING THE DAY. This is crucial -- you don't want to be guessing what your strategy should be at 3 a.m. I'd get started now -- you're right that this is a good time, developmentally speaking. And in conclusion, all the PPs who are "concerned" that I "missed out" on bonding with my baby because I let him "scream himself to sleep" are cordially invited to eat my butt. |
Anonymous
PP here - Nice!!! I hope I didn't jinx myself!!!! How long did it take those who had the 4 mo regression to get things back on track? |
Anonymous
Agree absolutely with the point about night weaning vs. sleep training. Not to be harsh, OP-- I am saying this because I WAS you-- but you already sleep trained your baby. You trained your baby to expect a breast in his mouth every time he wakes up because, at the time, it was quickest and easiest, and also because in the beginning that really was what he needed. (For some of the moms who previously posted, evidently this is fine with them, and that's cool. Babies can bounce back from it, and if they can too, good for them. Even co-sleeping left me exhausted, personally, and "asleep at the wheel" in a metaphorical sense during the day.) I have to admit, I think CIO is a bit unfair to a baby when it's a parent's first recourse to creating bad sleep habits in a child-- though I totally understand how you can be at the end of your rope-- it seems much more unfair when a mom who has been breastfeeding on demand suddenly says "That's it, I'm not responding at ALL!" rather than taking some of the blame and saying, ok, let's see if I respond differently (or my husband does, or whatever) our baby can learn to sleep better. In any case, it worked for me and just night weaning solved most of our sleep problems. If you feel once you night wean that hunger really is waking your baby up early, you have several options-- my sister found the dream feed worked perfectly for her at 11 p.m., whereas I found nursing to be just the ticket to put baby back to sleep during those dawn hours when some young babies have a hard time settling back down (and both of these are relatively easy to cut out once a baby is older, not hungry, and sleeping more deeply). Good luck, OP! Really, doing this right shouldn't take more than a week, plus or minus a few days, and be prepared to get LESS sleep during that time. But it will be worth it. |
Anonymous
She was officially IN the 4 month sleep regression for about 3 weeks (waking up every 4 hours or so). And then she went to waking up once a night for the next week - until she went back to sleeping through the night. I learned a very valuable lesson there....never talk about what a great sleeper my child is (9 month and 18 month sleep regressions also killed me). |
Anonymous
| If you're really at your wits end and can't take it anymore, then I say next time he wakes up don't feed him. Just cuddle,rock, etc and try to get him to fall back asleep without it. It might take a few minutes and he might cry bloody murder. But if it doesn't bother you then don't worry about it. I did it for my daughter at 4 months and after one rough night, she didn't wake to comfort nurse again. |
Anonymous
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Now is a fine time to sleep train. I thought the Ferber book was really helpful in explaining the science of sleep. And I agree with others who have suggested sending in DH for the first night wake up, at least. That, you can try tonight!
PP worried about the 4-month sleep regression: Go order yourself a copy of the book now and read through it before you hit the regression! Talk with your partner about a plan. And all those who bashed sleep training...just, wow. In our case, the sleep training has been about going to sleep, rather than MOTN wake-ups. A few minutes of crying for a solid night's sleep? Yeah, I'll take it. Along with all the comments from our family and friends about what a happy and contented baby we have. (And, yes, that's intentionally smug.) |
Anonymous
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I personally would wait till at least 6 months. We didn't do any kind of sleep training with our kid but his sleep was horrible for months 4 and 5. One day before he turned 6 months he went down to one feeding at night (although now at almost 8 months it is up to 3 thanks to teething). He still nurses whenever he wakes up at night, but it is okay with me because it takes all of 5-10 minutes to get him back down. I have read that night wakings are common until 2-3 years of age. I just figure he will grow out of it eventually and in the grand scheme of things it is a short period of time.
I was also always under the impression that sleep training is to get your kid to fall asleep on their own and not for STTN. DS does that so I figure when he wakes up and can't put himself back to sleep something is wrong. |
Anonymous
| Do it now. |
Anonymous
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The book Bedtiming is great on this - goes through child development and why sleep training will or won't work at what ages (that book is where the 5.5 to 7 months part comes from). According to them Ferber works best at that age, but it is hardly the last window of opportunity. There are several more ahead of you, up until your child is around 3 1/2 I think.
I do remember the part in Weissbluth where it says babies may need a feeding up until 9 months, but that's only some babies and not all. I'd think a baby who is eating every 2 hours at night probably needs at least 1 of those feedings. I have no advice on how to tell what crying is for a "needed" feeding because my baby's only 3 months and I'm still just trying to do my best to read her. |
Anonymous
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We just did it at 6 months exactly after talking with our ped. We picked a bad time b/c her first tooth appeared in the middle of it. We did Ferber (just as we did with our DC1 at 5.5 months). This kid took a bit longer because we had created our own bad habits out of necessity of sharing a room with her for so long and trying not to disturb our neighbors (condo living). It took 5 nights for her to put together that the same methods she uses to fall asleep initially at 7pm are the same tools she should use when she awakens during the night. She just slept 9 hours, took a feed, and then slept another 2.
Best of luck. It's painful but necessary (at least in our case it was). Good luck. |
Anonymous
| I sleep trained my oldest at 4.5 months but kept doing one and only one nighttime feed. If I recall, it had to be at least 6 hours after I'd put her down for the night. She caught on fast, actually, and we got in a pattern of one feed per night. She dropped it on her own at 8-9 months, right around the time Weissbluth said she would! |