Dual income parents - when do you go to marriage counseling?

Anonymous
We started counseling 3 months ago when our marriage hit the proverbial rocks and started out going weekly. We both work full-time 8-5 jobs and kids are in daycare. We were going during the day, but taking off a half day each week was unsustainable. We've switched to every two weeks, but it's still been tough to justify a half day off every two weeks especially when combined with other doctors appointments and field trip chaperoning and sick days and whatever else comes up.

I guess we could try to find someone to pick the kids up from daycare twice a month so we could do a later appointment. I have my parents in the area, but I don't want to tell them we're having problems. I haven't told my boss either.

How have you worked this? Thanks.
Anonymous
I've always wondered about this too. I think we could benefit from some counseling but aside from spouse's unwillingness to go the logistics just seemed impossible.
Anonymous
Can you ask your parents to help but be vague about where you are going? Just tell them you are taking a couple's enrichment class of some sort (which is sort of true).
Anonymous
We used a therapist near our offices and went during lunch.
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Member Offline
Get a later appointment and say that it's "date night"
Anonymous

Phone or Skype sessions at lunch hour?

Anonymous
Early morning.
Anonymous
Why does it take an entire half day? Are your offices really far from each other?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Early morning.


This might avoid work issues, but doesn't it create childcare issues?
Anonymous
Some therapists will come in on Saturday.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why does it take an entire half day? Are your offices really far from each other?


OP here - thanks for the suggestions. We live in Silver Spring and then I work in Virginia and he works in DC. We Metro to work (about an hour commute for both of us). We go to someone in DC and it takes about 30-45 minutes to get there just because of walking and Metro parking. So, 45 minutes to get there, an hour session, and 45 minutes to get back. So slightly under 3 hours for a single appointment.
Anonymous
I meant to say walking and Metro timing (not parking).
Anonymous
I'd ask your parents or hire a college student. Either way, way cheaper than divorce. We waited too long and DH embarked on an affair that he won't end. Props to you for catching things in time and being proactive. The 5 Love Languages book was really helpfu too I thought. Good luck to you!
Anonymous
Thanks, PP. Though before you think I caught it early enough, I did get him to finally start only after he confessed to a one-time "indescretion." I also found Not Just Friends and After the Affair to be really helpful.
Anonymous
This 3 hour round trip arrangement seems highly inefficient. There must be a therapist in Rockville near your house that you could see -maybe early morning or late afternoon or as someone suggested on the weekend?

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