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Today, I really miss my Mom
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Anonymous
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OP here- thanks to all of you for all your responses.
Hugs from me to everyone all of you who have also lost one or both of your parents. DCUMers are the best. |
Anonymous
| So sorry to read your post. How is your relationship with your inlaws? I am losing my mom (dementia) and I am pained to watch what we used to have. I thought about her a lot today and have thought about calling--selfish to say that I am avoiding because I can see/hear things changing in her and it's painful for me. My inlaws have really stepped into the role of parents (dad not handling mom's sickness very well) and for that I am grateful. The circle of life is something I know happens but the unfairness of how it happens has made me question my faith at times. My suggestion is to focus on the wonder of your child going to school--that's what I have done and it has really brought me some comfort.. Take care! |
Anonymous
Hi- OP here. I am sorry for what's going on with your Mom. That has got to be so hard. My in-laws are terrific. They live in Boston, but fly here at least once every two months to see the kids. My Dad is great, too. My children love all three of them and we talk to them a few times a week- my Dad almost daily. They are fortunate in this way. |
Anonymous
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I know what you mean, OP. My dad died last year from an aggressive cancer and I could not help but yearn to have him here today to see my 5 year old off to school. I miss him all the time, but days like this are even harder. Also, I am newly pregnant and have so many mixed feelings about this, too.
Our hearts just ache, I know. And your pain is so fresh--I'm sending you hugs today. |
Anonymous
| I know exactly the feeling, I'm 23 and my mother passed when I was 6. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not think about her... |
Anonymous
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To OP and all the others who have lots parents here: I want to send you all a big huge cyber hug.
I still have my parents, but they live over 4000 miles away and often I only see them every other year. I miss them so much. I cannot imagine how much it must hurt not to be able to at least talk to them once a day. My thoughts are with all of you. |
Anonymous
| My heart goes out to you, OP, and all DCUMers who've lost a loved one. Your post is so touching. I'm so glad for you that you have such wonderful memories of your Mom - sounds like you had a really special relationship! And it's very sweet that your dad and inlaws are so involved as well. |
Anonymous
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Hugs to you, OP. I lost my mother very recently. She lived with us for the 8 months of her illness. I keep looking around for her, worried that she is cold or needs something to eat. But she is gone. I read something that felt true to me: "Losing your mother is like the world without the sky." I didn't realize how profoundly I would grieve her loss.
Sending you strength and best wishes. |
oahulisa
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| I'm so sorry you are hurting. I lost my mother when I was 16 so its been a little over 10 years since she passed but I still think of her every single day. A book that really helped me "process the loss" was "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman. I felt sort of raw after reading so waiting until you are in a better place might be a good idea. Hoping tomorrow will be brighter. |
Anonymous
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New poster here.
OP, I'm glad that you posted and so sorry for your loss. My mother died last winter and there are still many moments when I briefly forget she is gone (like when I hear news that would have made me pick up the phone to share it with her) and then it is like the wound has a fresh cut in it. It is so very hard to see our children grow--a very visible measure of the time that the parent has been gone and how much they will never get to see. My youngest child was born just a few months before my mother lost her ability to speak due to a stroke and I feel like the more he developed, the more she slipped away. Don't feel guilty for wishing your mother release from her suffering--I, and many, many others had the same wish. It is a measure of your love for her that you could want more that she not suffer than to keep her here with you. For the PP with a mother with dementia, I can totally relate. During the year after my mother's stroke, I would often avoid her. Somehow it felt much worse to be with a shell of my mother, even worse than not being with her at all. I felt this strong need to keep my memories of her as she was, not as she had become. It is so very hard to be a mother without a mother. For all of us doing it, be gentle with yourselves--cry when you need to, remember when you need to, forget when you can't deal. It is what it is and we are lucky to have had someone who loved us so and who we loved. But it is still unfair to feel robbed of what could have been. |
Anonymous
| PP here--Sorry, I meant to write "It is still unfair, we feel robbed for what could have been." |