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teacher appreciation
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Anonymous
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I appreciate my child's teacher/ care-giver. He's in a one-year old room at a day care center. The day care sends friendly reminders about giving a gift to the teacher for (1) the end of the school year, (2) Christmas, (3) the teacher's birthday, and (4) Teacher appreciation week. Is this excessive? I'm especially put off by the expectations of teacher appreciation week which entails a mini-party (with a theme!) every day of the week including gifts. Each child's family is supposed to take a day of the week to do this mini-party.
I really do appreciate the teachers and the support staff but at the same time this is a day care that i am paying so that I can work. I don't really want to use leave to go to day care to throw my child's teacher a birthday party. Please don't think I don't appreciate the teacher and please know that I understand that she is underpaid. I'm just wondering from more experienced parents if this is the norm or if this is excessive? |
Anonymous
| Someone else is cleaning your childs diaper, engaging him, feeding him, comforting him and being his "stand in" mother. A job that you are NOT doing yet still you complain about taking one day off and buying a $20 gift. You prob make so much more money than her yet you behave in such an ungrateful way. I am a mother of 3 and always show appreciation for my childrens teachers. Your chikd is a yr old and shoukdnt be in a day care setting but at home getting one on one attention with a nanny. Oh wait a minute, his in day care because you are cheap. Stay at home and be a full time mother you cow and see how much work that is. |
Anonymous
OP Here- sigh. Now that you got that out of your system, and hopefully those who agree with you will be satisfied by your response. You haven't answered my question which is whether all of these teacher appreciation events in total are excessive or reasonable. I'm asking because I don't know. It seems excessive based on my memories of being a child with teachers but of course I haven't been there for a while and I want to know if other parents with kids in daycare (so not you PP) have been asked to recognize birthdays, Christmas, end of the year and teacher appreciation week. That is my question. Thanks. |
Aimee4
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I have 2 children in daycare. Our daycare did not send out any "teacher appreciation" week stuff. We also do not celebrate the caregivers birthday (we usually don't know it). That said, we show our appreciation in many ways.
First, there's the Christmas gifts/money. Second, there's the occasional treat we bring in (homemade goodies for the teachers only) Third, talking to them and asking them if they need anything. Sometimes they aren't getting what they need/want from management, but a parent asking can. Fourth, we do a big monetary gift when our child transitions to a new room to his previous teachers, usually at the end of the summer. Our parents group also puts on a Christmas party for them and another appreciation party in the early summer. As far as 23:28, yes, they watch our children, wipe their bums, comfort them. I don't want a nanny. I'd rather have 3 teachers watching 9 children with round the clock video survellience than relying on one every single day that has no supervision other than "I saw a nanny at the park today" posts from DCUMers. That's my choice, and its not because I'm "cheap". I've had friends raised at home and friends that were in daycare - and by their relationships with their parents, you can't tell who was raised which way. My children are probably more social and more well rounded by me working and them going to daycare than if I stayed at home. That's not a judgement on stay at home moms at all, but a statement of how well I think I'd do as a stay at home mom. |
Anonymous
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OP, I have been in three places with my kids - one was in home care until they were old enough for center based and the other two were center based care. Based on my experience, yes, what you are being asked to do is excessive. At the in home care, parents gave Christmas gifts and that was it. At the first center, the families were asked for a donation and then the money was used to buy giftcards for the staff. Staff were not permitted to accept any other gifts. We were also asked to do something small for teacher appreciation week, but at this point, I honestly can't recall what it was - maybe a donation. At our present center, families aren't asked for anything and the culture is definitely gifts on the smaller side. FWIW, we are in outer MoCo and the center is highly subsidized.
In our ES, we have a voluntary program where families adopt staff members and do gifts for their birthdays, staff appreciation week, Christmas, etc. |
Anonymous
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Former teacher here. I find it totally perplexing and really odd that we've developed a culture of gift giving to teachers. Asking people directly to show appreciation? Sounds a bit too much like bribery to me. When and where I taught, it would have been awkward to have even accepted a batch of cookies.
I don't understand why teachers aren't subject to similar rules to the feds - strict policy, laid out clearly, and rules are strictest when there's a power relationship involved. I do whatever the cultural norm is at whatever school my child is currently attending. I always make a very large (few hundred dollar) donation to the extended daycare people. |
Anonymous
I am right there with....I especially hate being dictated a schedule for each day of the week and what I should be bringing. |
Anonymous
| My issue with teacher appreciation week is that it is so close to the end of the year when I typically like to "appreciate" the teachers as well.. |
Anonymous
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4:11 yes, good point!
23:13 good point as well. I think teachers should be allowed to accept gifts, but there need to be limits so there isn't that feeling of buying some love. You also don't want those who cannot afford to give to feel pressured. Now of course thank you notes, etc should have no limit! |
Anonymous
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I think DD's school has dealt w/ it pretty well.
- Room moms (it's a church preschool so most parents are SAHMs) collected $10 from each family I think at xmas time for a gift card for the teachers. Thought it was great that I didn't need to worry about an indiv. gift and the amt was manageable for everyone. - Teacher appreciation week is this week. They had people throughout the entire school volunteer to bring parts of a dinner for the teachers on Monday, Tues the kids were to bring in 2 flowers (1 for each teacher), Thurs they are to bring in home made cards or pictures for their teachers, and others (including me) volunteered to bring in breakfast for them for Thurs. - Our room mom asked people to chip in $20 for a group end of year gift and put a little note & photo on a scrap book page she provided to make a photo book for them. - No Bday stuff and no need for a parent to take off to throw a special event. I think your school, OP, is excessive in what it's asking. I agree w/ you that you're paying them so you can work and if it's anything like most preschools they are closed for random days that almsot no one has off work (except teachers) throughout the year anyway that you need to cover let alone special Play or Event days that parents might be encouraged to attend during work hours. The reason I think what my DD's school/room mom has done is just fine is that it is demanding only tiny things that can easily be done at home and it's generally been spaced out well so that things don't fall all at once in terms of "projects" for the families to do. I would not at all welcome the prospect of taking a day off work to throw a party for DD's teachers. I do think these other appreciation guestures are absolutley nice though. |
Anonymous
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I'm a teacher and a parent. The "teacher" part of me very much appreciates the gestures, but I agree that it's gotten a little overboard. At the same time, the parent in me is SO appreciative of the care that my DC received in daycare adn receives not in preschool that I ENJOY giving tokens of appreciation. However, it is MY choice. Reminders for birthdays is over the top and inappropriate.
Personally, I would be mortified to receive a gift from a child/parent because someone "reminded" them it was my birthday!! |
Anonymous
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I think it's the prompting that would get me.
We gave a big (one month tuition) at transition time from the baby room, but would have been less likely if I had been "reminded" to give gifts, food, etc throughout year. I'm guessing(??) DS' caregiver liked the one check much better. |
Anonymous
that's why collective gifts are good. pass the hat, put in what you can afford (or nothing). signed: "the class". Do this at Christmas and end of year. Teacher appreciation week = flowers and treats. Most important, that children write cards at the end of the year. 
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