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12 week old refusing bottle
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Anonymous
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My daughter is now almost 12 weeks old. We introduced a bottle of expressed breastmilk starting around 2 weeks of age. Until about two weeks ago, she would take the bottle easily. We would offer her a bottle at least once every other day. Beginning approx. two weeks ago, however, she has started refusing the bottle. She will sometimes fuss when we offer it (which eventually leads to screaming and then to me nursing her)...but more often than not will just chew on the nipple endlessly. When she does this, she eventually gets two or three ounces out but never a full feedings worth of milk. Any ideas as to why this is happening and how to remedy this? I'm stressing out thinking that I'll never be able to leave her if she wont take a bottle!!!
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Anonymous
| You need to leave and let someone else give her the bottle. If you stay in the house, she'll sense that you and your milk supply are still there. Your baby will not starve and will drink from the bottle if she is really hungry. This is very typical full BF'd babies. I'd suggest you arrange to get out on a regular basis (i.e., every day or so) until the bottle is well established -- go for a walk, go to the gym, go to the store, etc. |
Anonymous
| My son also refused the bottle at 12 weeks and after several attempts we decided to can the bottle and just EBF. I actually loved the EBF and the end of my pumping days. I never liked leaving my nursling baby so it turned out to be a blessing for both baby and I that we gave up the bottles and went au natural! By the time they are 8-10 mos, they are eating solids, you can introduce a sippy cup, etc and you will be able to leave a BF older baby. Now with baby #2, I wont even be attempting to introduce a bottle. This time flies by so quickly, I'm going to cherish every nursing session I get! Just wanted to offer you the alternative view that if your baby really refuses the bottle you may not be as "doomed" as people suggest if indeed the exclusive nursing is appealing to you. For us, as I said, it turned out to be a gift! good luck |
Anonymous
| The same exact thing happened with my son. He took a bottle of BM about once every other day early on, but around 2.5 months (near the time I was going to be going back to work) he suddenly refused the bottle. I think part of the problem is that we were trying to give it to him in the evening. This was often a fussier time for him and I think he just wanted the comfort of of the breast and didn't want the bottle. But by the time I figured that out, I think he had grown to really dislike the bottle. After this, I ended up trying a number of different bottle and nipple types. He finally took the playtex drop ins (a plus is that these are BPA free) with the latex nipple (wouldn't take silicone then but will now). Also, I had to let him take the nipple in himself. He was also very sensitive to the way the bottle nipple was presented to him. My husband and mom couldn't get him to take the bottle. I would just brush his lips with it and gently insert it in his mouth, toward the roof of his mouth, and he would take it that way. He is now in daycare and takes the bottle well. |
Anonymous
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Many breastfed babies begin to refuse the bottle at around 3 mos. They simply prefer nursing - the warmth, the closeness, etc.
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Anonymous
| I'm having the same problem. DD is 12 weeks on Monday. If we work hard at it, I can still get her to take it but it is not a fun experience. I say stick with it though. I have a friend with a baby who is 10 mos and WILL NOT take a bottle for any reason. She can't go anywhere... |
Anonymous
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The same thing happened with my now-4-month-old. I think there are a few things going on.
First, I would agree with the previous poster about bedtime - try another time of day. Even now that we have gotten her back on the bottle, she won't take a bottle from my husband at bedtime, although she will during the day. She will take a bottle from me at bedtime, or nurse, or both. So first, try morning. Second, think about switching nipples and/or bottles. We were using the Dr. Brown's glass bottles because the only bottle my older daughter would take was Dr. Brown's. But this baby will only take Mam/Sassy Ultivent. I think the only place you can buy them locally is The Right Start in Reston but I may be wrong. They are also available online and the nipples will fit into the BPA-Free Gerber GentleFlow bottles and the BPA-Free Avent Via Nurser System. (The Mam bottles are also BPA-Free but a PITA.) Third, think about getting someone else to try the bottle. Your baby may not want it from you, that's understandable, but your husband just may not have the experience to do it. Maybe your mom, MIL, sister, friend, etc, who has more experience with kids than your husband does, will have more success. You could also try hiring a baby nurse for a few days if you are able to afford it. That is actually what we had to do when all else failed. Fourth, pick a weekend or a few days when someone else can feed the baby. Pump, pump, pump and go all bottles all the time. I nursed the baby once a day to make sure she didn't forget how to do that, but the rest of the time she was on bottles. Fifth, reconsider any advice that you have gotten. (Including mine!) Everyone says that babies don't like a situation that mimics nursing - for my first this was true. When she finally took the bottle at three months, she would only take the bottle if no one was touching her. Flat on her back on the changing table was her preferred method, but she would sometimes consider the bouncy seat. She eventually took a bottle like a normal baby  but it took awhile. My new baby wants everything to be as much like nursing as possible. She wants to be on the Boppy, on her side (which is a bit of a challenge for holding the bottle, but whatever) and will cry if she is put into more of a regular bottle-feeding position. But she will take it on her side on the Boppy.
Try everything you can think of. Go cold-turkey, try different nipples, different times of day, different people, different positions. You'll get there. But there may be a lot of crying/screaming the first day. If you can't take it, leave. Or take a shower. But you may just have to bite the bullet and do it if you really really want the baby to take the bottle. I wish you the best of luck. |
Anonymous
| Try to look at it from the babies eyes, why would she want a plastic mechanism giving her milk when she can have moms warmth, smell, eye contact, etc... breastfeeding and bottle feeding are 2 entirely different experiences so you cant expect a newborn to just switch back and forth without some major upset (grantid, there are always those stories of babies who have no probleming switiching but I think most BF babies really show signs of distress at the loss of the mothers breast). Please take it slowly and sensitively with your baby as your baby is normal and healthy for protesting the lack of breast if that's what she's been getting since birth. Some of the advice above sounds way too harsh to me, having a baby scream all day to learn how to take a bottle at 12 weeks is way more than I would expect or ever put my babies through. Good luck finding what works for you and baby. |
Anonymous
| This may not help you in the least, but my DD had a hard time taking the bottle at first-- as she only got one a day. We tried everything. The one thing we hadn't tried was a bottle warmer. Once we used that beautiful contraption, she took a bottle no problem. I know some people say don't get your baby hooked on taking a warm bottle, but it was either a warm bottle or no bottle. Hope that helps... |
Anonymous
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I also have a 12 week old and we've had some bottle refusal issues --
I want to echo a few PPs -- we were trying to give the bottle in the evening, early or late in the evening, and I think this was the worst time as she tends to be tired and cranky. I'm having much more luck replacing a mid-afternoon or mid-morning feeding. Also, it doesn't seem to matter if I give her the bottle -- in fact, she may prefer it from me. I seem to be having luck giving it to her if I sing to her the whole time. The idea I have is that it makes bottle feeding something enjoyable and fun for her since that's not something she gets while she's nursing. Also, this may not be the case with you at all -- but I think for a while I was misreading my DD's eating cues and trying to give her a bottle kind of 7 -8 pm'ish when I thought she should be ready to eat and I've realized she just doesn't really want to eat at that time. She'll nurse a little for comfort if it is offered, but, really, she's happy to go from about 6 pm until her next feeding which tends to be around 11. This isn't the timing I'd prefer, but it seems to be how she is spacing her feedings. Obviously for those of us who have to go back to work, this is a big deal. At the moment, I'm focused on making sure my DD gets the hang of the bottle, even if it ultimately disrupts bfeeding because I don't want her to have trouble when I return to work in two months. |
Anonymous
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We had the same problem (although earlier - 8-10 weeks) as I was preparing to return to work and panicking when my DD wouldn't take a bottle.
We tried many different kinds of bottles, we tried DH feeding her or my mom but in the end, we just had to stick it out, keep trying it every day and when she'd cry we'd take it away and wait till she was calm to try again. There was a lot of crying involved, but eventually she caught on, and once she did, I made sure to do at least one feeding a day with the bottle so she wouldn't "forget". For us in the end, I was the one who was successful giving the bottle and I would hold her on my lap facing away from me so she couldn't see me but I was holding her. It's one of those hard things you just have to do sometimes (like some people do CIO for bedtime) but you have to stick it out until you are successful - if you give up you'll never get there.... |
cmkeough
Member Location: Arlington, VA
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Member Location: Arlington, VA
Offline
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Ugh, I feel your agony. My DD will be 4 months old on the 4th. We too had this very same issue and I too wrote a post not too long ago. I got a lot of the same responses you did. My DD goes to a nanny share 6 hours a day (max) M-F. We thought her starting this would help with the bottle. WRONG! I purchased practically every bottle out there, even bought a 4 month training sippy cup too. I also bought several types of nipples too. The trick....eventually was the following:
Playtex "latex" nipple; slow flow (drop in system), but I think it was the latex that was key...she still isn't a fan of other nipples. Warmed breastmilk (funny since she used to take it cold or room temp) and it ALWAYS has to be warmed to at least body temp. now. Time and most of all patience. We were very fortunate that the nanny stuck it out and was finally able to get our DD to take the bottle. Now she takes it like a pro. I was actually able to go out to the movies (SATC) tonight with my girlfriends and leave her with my husband. YIPEE! I have yet to give her a bottle, I leave that to the nanny or my husband. The biggest key factor is the patience - and someone else doing the bottle feeding. Everyone is right, you shouldn't be around the house for it either. It will be pure torture for you and your baby if you're there. Best of luck. |
Anonymous
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We had this issue with our son when he was 14 weeks old (about 2 weeks ago). He had been getting a bottle every day or every other day since his first week (using a Nuk Stage 1 orthodontic slow flow nipple). Two things were going on: First, it turned out that he was ready for a larger and faster flow nipple, so we switched to the Nuk Stage 2 medium flow nipple (even though this nipple is recommended starting at *7* months(!) and he went back to the bottle without any problems. Second, we realized that we were trying to feed him before he was hungry even if he would have been happy to BF. We then tried the bottle again an hour or two later, and it worked.
Hope this helps. |
Anonymous
| any other tips out there? I'm struggling with the same problem and am going back to work in a few days. My dc is in for a rude awakening when she does not get to BF all day! Wve tried different bottle types, nipple types, warming it up, in the bouncy chair, in my arms like nursing, with my pinky in there too, sugar on the nipple, when she's hungry, when she's not really that hungry, everything, for the past week or so. |
Anonymous
| Acid reflux can be worse in babies taking bottles because the flow of the milk is faster (even with the slow flow nipples). If nothing else is working you may want to watch for signs of reflux, such as arching their back, coughing, hiccuping. Once we got out DD's reflux under control she was much more willing to take the bottles. |