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Photos of your children and Facebook
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Anonymous
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I just need to know if I am being unreasonable here. I recently asked my sister-in law, in a very nice way, to please no longer post photos of my son on Facebook. I also asked my MIL and FIL to do the same. We no longer post photos of him on there anymore either. SIL has hundreds of friends and really, there is no need for them to know about my family. I am not into airing my business for all to see. My FIL and MIL had no problem with this. SIL is now saying I DEMANDED that she not do this and is using it against me. I asked her not to do it, not demand. I am a professional photographer and I ask all my clients if it is okay for me to use their images on my website or blog...out of respect for their privacy. I personally don't see this situation being different...but I guess some people are SO into Facebook, it becomes their life in a way.
Am I being unreasonable? |
Anonymous
| I don't think you're unreasonable. I post LOTS of pictures of my son on my profile, but have only 25 friends, and have all my security options at the highest level possible. I do, however, stop short of ever posting any school pictures of him that show other kids. Out of courtesy to those children's parents. I just think you should be in control of your own child's pictures. That's not asking too much. |
Anonymous
| You are being reasonable. Your SIL is in the wrong. And even if you had "demanded" it, it is your perogative. |
Anonymous
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Yes, you are being unreasonable. There is no copyright on your kid's face. Do you veil him outside, a la Michael Jackson?
Also, the pedophile panic is so ridiculous and overblown. You didn't say it, but I know that's what you're thinking. "What if someone icky SEES my child?!?" *clutches pearls* |
hedgehog
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| Your child, your choice. |
Anonymous
you're an idiot. did you ever hear of right to privacy? do you want the world to see a picture of you hee hawing at your stupid jokes on DCUM? |
Anonymous
This exactly to the "nth" degree. Noone cares about your kid. SERIOUSLY. |
Anonymous
OP here....see this is a problem I have. I truly believe we all have a right to privacy and our privacy should be respected by others. Unfortunately, with todays technology it seems like people don't care about that anymore. I only have about 100 people I am "friends" with and I know every single one of them personally. SIL, just adds people she meets once and never takes them off. |
Anonymous
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OP, I understand your concern, but I have long given up on this. My kids are probably older than your son, but what I've found is this. They go to a birthday party and a photo where they are in the background gets posted on facebook. I become friends with an in law cousin whom I see once a year and see that from last year's family reunion there is a photo that my kids are in. I get together with friends to play in the snow and we are all snapping photos and before we are even inside for hot chocolate, my little cutie pies are on facebook. I went on my kids' school's website recently and found tons of photos of my kids and all the rest of the kids in the class. I'm sure I signed a permission slip, but it surprised me nonetheless. And, I don't think in this day and age I have to even say, but once a photo is there, all you have to do is right click and you can repost it yourself.
Although I have given up, I have many friends who, like you, are vigilant about trying to keep their kids photos off facebook, yet I run into photos of their kids and I'm not sure they even know the photos are there. I'm not telling you that you are wrong by any means. It's your kid and you have to do whatever you think is best to protect him. That's what a good mom does. But, maybe your SIL has been down this road before and realizes it's impossible to keep photos off the internet and thinks you are somehow singling her out when all she is doing is being the proud aunt. |
Anonymous
It's so easy to launch an ad hominem attack, isn't it? It's not nearly as fun to sit and reason for a minute, and type out a logical argument, stated in a civil tone. So if you can, take that minute. Think about what you're REALLY scared of. Is it just a knee-jerk "MINE"? Or do you fear that a pedophile unknown to you will see a photo of your child, then take steps to find your child, then take further steps to befriend your child, then finally after some "grooming" period touch your child in a naughty way? |
Anonymous
If no one cares then why post the pictures? You are idiots. No OP you are not being unreasonable. |
Anonymous
| I think she should respect your wishes. I'm sure she can find photos that perhaps don't show your son, or IF she has to post something including him (e.g., it's a group photo), that your son is maybe smaller, in the background. This is just a matter of respect and courtesy. |
Anonymous
| I do the same thing. We have a right to protect our kids. There are pedophiles out there and In think it's freaky to have my child's photo floating around in cyberspace. She needs to grow up and put her big girl panties on. Why does she need to impress people with photos of your kids anyway? |
Anonymous
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I'm a teacher and I once had some parents try to FaceBook me (I politely declined). What shocked me was how many of them had photos of their child and had really lax privacy standards. My hunch was they really didn't know how it all worked.
I don't think there is anything inherently wrong about posting photos of your child online. But I think people should know what they're doing when they do it. If you want your kid's face to be seen by everyone, go for it. If you prefer them not to be, I think you are well within your right. A lot of people don't realize just how public Facebook is/can be and I think that is where cause for concern comes in. They think they are just sharing with friends and then realize they are not. At the end of the day, to each his own. I would say you should probably probe why you prefer the option you do, just to make sure your decision is reasoned (but that is the case for everything, I'd argue). |
Anonymous
| I only have people who I am very close to for pictures and that is it. I absolutely agree with you and don't think anyone should post pictures of anyone's children but their own. If she can't respect it, just request she not take any more pictures of your child so she has none to post. |