How to teach children about their father's culture, even though father isn't connected to culture

Anonymous
I am American and DH is from another country, but was raised in America since he was a baby and feels completely American. He does not reject who he is at all, but he does not speak his native language and does not really feel a connection to the culture.

I'm looking for suggestions from people in similar situations on how to teach our future children about half of their heritage, although the heritage is not my own. DH thinks it's a good idea, but since doesn't really know much about his culture, he doesn't fully see the importance of it.
Anonymous
If HE doesn't "fully see the importance of it," then why bother? Treat his heritage just as you would any other. If it comes up, discuss.

If grandparents are in the picture, then that may put a different spin on things.
Anonymous
This is DC! Every culture has a local festival at some point. Google it. I take my kids to the japanese stuff during the cherry blossoms, the persian new year stuff at the smithsonian, greek fairs... heck, I think the carribean festival is today.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If HE doesn't "fully see the importance of it," then why bother? Treat his heritage just as you would any other. If it comes up, discuss.

If grandparents are in the picture, then that may put a different spin on things.


Because he said if he could change his childhood, his parents would have taught him more about his heritage. They didn't so he doesn't care now, but he would change it if he could.

I think culture is important and I don't think it would be fair to teach our kids everything about my culture but nothing of his.

Also, unless my genes totally dominate his, it will be obvious that my kids are of that race as well as my own.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If HE doesn't "fully see the importance of it," then why bother? Treat his heritage just as you would any other. If it comes up, discuss.

If grandparents are in the picture, then that may put a different spin on things.


Because he said if he could change his childhood, his parents would have taught him more about his heritage. They didn't so he doesn't care now, but he would change it if he could.

I think culture is important and I don't think it would be fair to teach our kids everything about my culture but nothing of his.

Also, unless my genes totally dominate his, it will be obvious that my kids are of that race as well as my own.


It won't make much of a difference. Trust me. I was raised fully immersed in both worlds. I married a "true" American, and although my kids are still surrounded by their grandparents, they will never fully appreciate how I was raised. Sure, they know what I am, but it doesn't make an impact on them. Even hearing my second language, which I sometimes use at home, leaves no lasting impression.


For one's heritage to mean anything, traditions should be passed along - or else it's like reading about a culture in a history book.
zumbamama
Member Offline
You might start with some childrens' books from DH's culture. I found Filipino folktales in English for my kids.

Or maybe your kids could help you make a dish from their culture.

I agree about the cultural festivals. They'll be exposed to the music, food, dance, art etc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

It won't make much of a difference. Trust me. I was raised fully immersed in both worlds. I married a "true" American, and although my kids are still surrounded by their grandparents, they will never fully appreciate how I was raised. Sure, they know what I am, but it doesn't make an impact on them. Even hearing my second language, which I sometimes use at home, leaves no lasting impression.


For one's heritage to mean anything, traditions should be passed along - or else it's like reading about a culture in a history book.


I figured as much, but I'm still hoping. My DH's ethnic group makes up a substantial portion of the US population, so I don't want my kids to feel disconnected from a group that is so prevalent and get questions like "So you're [insert ethnicity]? Do you speak the language?" and have to answer that no, they don't speak the language or know anything about the culture. Also, DH has told me stories of feeling a bit ostracized from his ethnic group in K-12 because he didn't know the language or the culture.
Anonymous
I think the actual nationality is important to the answer.
Anonymous
DH is Hispanic.
Anonymous
Well that's a whole lot easier than finding Persian or Cambodian cultural groups! Start by introducing the language and traditional foods which you can find anywhere. Simple songs as well. As the child gets older, look into studying the country of origin and maybe some travel there.
Anonymous
My spouse is burmese and I can tell you that pretty much no one in my circle of friends or extended family have any idea where the heck Burma is or what it's going through WRT human rights violations. It's sad.

our DD is 3 mos and I've encouraged him to talk to her in his language and when she gets older we will try to incorporate cultural activities.

for the record he came to the US at 20 years.
Anonymous
PP here -- for what it's worth he does not support Aung San Suu Kyi since she's from a different ethnic group within Burma and not necessarily the best option for total democracy.
Anonymous
sorry to hijack if that's what it seems -- got caught up in the theme of "other cultures" and biracial children
Anonymous
Go visit the country. Stay awhile. Nothing cooler than that.
Anonymous
if your husband is disappointed that he didn't learn about his heritage as a child and doesn't know anything now, maybe he and your children could learn about their shared heritage together.
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