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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
What happened to birthday parties at home or at a park?
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Anonymous
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I would love to have a birthday party at home - mostly because the few that we have attended have been really nice and all the kids had lots of fun. But like the other posters my house just isn't big enough to invite all the kids from my son's preschool class, plus the friends who've had birthdays and moved into the next class, plus his weekend playdate friends, plus a few neighbors or parents' friends. Other kids in my son's class had (great) parties at their homes, which were lovely but not super-sized, but I just don't know if they invited the whole class...
So for me the alternatives are smaller parties or having it elsewhere. Last year we went the elsewhere route, at the local community center, but frankly it was loads of work - shlepping everything and then a frenzied cleanup before our time rant out - and frankly not inexpensive. This year we did a super-small party for a couple friends at the house, plus cupcakes & goody bags at school. The beauty of the party places is that someone does all the prep and cleanup. That's not insignificant, especially for working parents. And ultimately I suspect some of them may be cheaper in the end, particularly if like me you overdo the food at home. I know there's a lot of nostalgia for simpler times, but I don't think there's any "better" way to do these things. And I've never encountered anyone who's snobbish about where you have the party or whether you have an entertainer or how many kids are there. I suspect we put a lot of this pressure on ourselves - I was anxious that my son would feel slighted that he didn't have a party at the kiddie gym or a big bash like his friends, but ultimately he loved having "two" parties and didn't miss the crowd. The moral of the story is that as long as there are some friends, some cake and a few balloons, kids are not as fussy as we think they may be about their parties. |
Anonymous
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Best parties that we've done or been to do include the whole class. Its cruel and mean IMO to exclude little kids at this stage.
For home.... We have a friend with a small house. She simply moved the furniture out of one room which made a fun place for a table and fun play. Kids don't need a huge amount of space...take a look at the preschool rooms sometime. You can keep costs down by forgetting the goody bags..most parents will thank you for that one. Costco has good party food supplies. Cake, balloons, music, and some games can keep kids happy. Parks are fun and kids like picnics. Some firehouses do kids parties. You bring the cake and they get a tour of the firehouse. |
Anonymous
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When I was a kid not too long ago, all we had were cake and some kids, and throw in a pool once in awhile and that was fun and memorable. I'm glad to hear about other low-key parents. I like the low-keyness and would like to factor out the stress when organizing my child's birthday party ... particularly at a toddler age.
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Anonymous
I like low-key birthday parties too. And I worry too about party escalation. And if I were a better woman, I'd hold preschool parties at my house. But alas, I'm just not courageous enough to invite a dozen preschoolers. Perhaps for baby number 2, I should try to plan a summer birthday, so we can hold them at the park. 
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Meconbear
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| I echo other PP: a winter b-day makes the park impossible. Add a small house, messy toddlers, and exhausted parents and that equals shelling out $325 for Gymboree. I don't look down on people for having parties at their house...I think it's sweet but I don't have the space or the energy to clean up the mess afterwards. |
Anonymous
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We had DS's birthday parties at home until he was 3. On the day of the third birthday party, it rained (June birthday) and we couldn't do some of the outdoor activities we'd hoped to do (it all turned out fine). Since then, we've had indoor parties at other locations, because you can't guarantee weather.
Our house can host a lot of people, and we often like to do so, but we frankly enjoyed not having to worry about the set-up/clean-up. On some level, I think the parties at parks are the most work, because you have to shlep food and other stuff there; home was much simpler. We do struggle with this issue though - it is on some level excessive. We know in the next few years, parties will probably settle down to some close friends and will be easier to manage. |
Anonymous
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I live in a tiny apartment without a yard - hard to invite my chlds entire preschool class to that!
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Anonymous
| What I want to know is when did the $3 cupcake become the norm for birthday parties? I am too cheap to go to cakelove (and others) to see the kids lick off the icing and leave the majority of the cupcake behind - they do not care where it came from as long as there is sugar! |
Anonymous
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If parents are upset because THEY spent a lot of money on a party to which they invited your kid and then YOU don't spend as much money on the party to which you invite their kid, the people they should be upset with is THEMSELVES!
Can you imagine someone being annoyed because your wedding didn't cost as much as theirs? This is just weird to me. |
Anonymous
I agree with you. |
Anonymous
I don't think anyone has a problem with it either way. From this thread, it sounds like most of the parents who choose to host parties at special venues do so for good reasons: desire to invite the whole class, but unable to fit them in their house; lack of time or desire to clean up/set up/worry about silly putty in dvd player; home/park parties can be just as expensive as a special venue, but also a lot more trouble, etc. There was really only one post where someone wrote that they heard someone say that she knew someone who had a problem with home parties. And there was no post at all that said that parents wanted to hold them at a special venue because they wanted to show off or whatever. I think that may just be the perception shared by few and not necesarily based on actual experiences. |
Anonymous
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I am really interested to hear about people inviting whole preschool classes to birthday parties. Our DS is not yet one, so we have not had this problem yet...but the parents of my godchildren did not do this at all. Until the kids were ~6, I think, they had a small party at home with family who live in the area, plus me. Just cake and other food, and presents. And the kids were fine, and excited to see their family, and of course to open presents . I think the preschool allowed you to bring in pizza and cupcakes for the birthday person's class, so that was the party, in a sense. You really don't have to have a party at your home or somewhere else, and invite the whole class (or even a small number of kids) until your kid starts asking to do it. Do they really clamor to do this at 2 or 3 years old?
And what ever happened to the idea that you invite as many kids as the child's age? I've heard that before, so, at 3, you invite 3 kids, etc. Is that out the window since so many kids are in daycare/preschool? |
Anonymous
It's not out the window, and I think it's a nice goal (less is more!), but it gets tricky if you're inviting friends with siblings, at least when kids are little, because parents usually stay to help with their kid, and sometimes they need to bring their other kids along, so the party gets a little bigger and a little bigger. I think if you're inviting less than half the class, that's fine. If you can face having the entire class, good for you. I think the problem arises, as others have said, when you invite 3/4 of the class, because it becomes clear that more kids than not made the cut, and it hurts to be one of the few who didn't. |
Anonymous
Yeah, and parents who bring all their kids, they're rude. I guess there is not another parent at home to watch the other kids not invited...oh wait I forgot, that other parent comes too. |