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Anonymous wrote:I can see where the emotional dysregulation COMES FROM !!!!!!!!!!!
Yup: from his biological parents who didn't want to be bothered with him. We adopted him.
Ya'll be saying anything on the Internet. lol
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?
OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.
LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.
We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)
Anonymous wrote:My child was like yours- got suspended on the second day of elementary school because they didn't follow the IEP and give him a prewarning about a fire drill and he freaked out. I was just as frustrated as you and I looked for any school that might take him. There weren't any. Schools did not want aggressive children who need considerably more attention. And to be honest, you probably wouldn't want the schools that would accept him.
I left him in public and he went through an assortment of placements, including a non-public school. None were right for him and most of the teachers just triggered him. But as he got older, we had a better understanding of what he needed and by high school, he was fully mainstreamed.
It was the toughest road I've ever been on, so I am so sorry you are dealing with it. Between the constant meetings, being on edge every time your phone rings, and other parents isolating you...it is miserable. Both myself and his father had to change jobs due to his constant needs.
So all that said, I still don't think a private school will get you what your child needs. What I would suggest you advocate for is a smaller class- in MCPS it is called SESES, but not sure about PG county. You would argue that this is not his LRE (which seems true based on what you shared). At least then you would have access to more support, a better teacher/student ratio so they are more likely to follow the IEP, and classes with less stimulation.
Thank you so much for being helpful - I'll research this. I'd much rather save my $50k/year for renting a townhouse in Montgomery County and just going to one of their FREE public schools with SESES than pay $100k/year in rent and McLean private school tuition and then they kick him out anyway.
Wow, I’m honestly surprised by the responses here. I was just looking for school recommendations, not to get dragged.
Funny thing — “difficult dads” like me are the reason OUR special needs kids can even go to public school now. Before 1975, they were literally banned.
The IDEA law that gives your SN kids an IEP and not just home schooled came from parents who refused to stay quiet. In Mills v. D.C. (1972), a dad named David Mills fought for his daughter after she was denied an education — and that fight helped create the rights all our kids have today.
I'll continue advocating for my DS with my wife who is just as passionate as me
Funny thing — “difficult dads” like me are the reason OUR special needs kids can even go to public school now. Before 1975, they were literally banned.
The IDEA law that gives your SN kids an IEP and not just home schooled came from parents who refused to stay quiet. In Mills v. D.C. (1972), a dad named David Mills fought for his daughter after she was denied an education — and that fight helped create the rights all our kids have today.
I'll continue advocating for my DS with my wife who is just as passionate as me
Anonymous wrote:Your kid is violent and has a history of elopement. It isn't easy to find a placement for a child with those behaviors. That's why I suggested that you talk with your advocate about identifying your options. I've been down this road and know just how long and hard it is.
Is your kid thriving now? What school worked for them?
Anonymous wrote:Homeschool with a full time home ABA team for support. Get him more social and work on routines and challenges so he works slowly into the demands of school. Just placing him in private will be more money and less beneficial.
Is this what you are doing for your child? How is homeschool the only option here? I just want ADHD/Anxiety private school recommendations that you Moms and Dads use
Anonymous wrote:The fidget toy thing- there has gotta be a reason they are saying to limit to 5 minutes.
Nope! She made this change 2 days after we requested her daily data log for month of September after I son repeatedly told us his direct support 1:1 aide just "sit in the back and look at me" She said she wants him to be "independent".
A 5 year old who was recently diagnosed with ADHD with Anxiety is supposed to be independent in Kindergarten and not use his fidget tool which self regulates him (and all ADHD adults too!) SMH
Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to have a hard road finding a school. You should probably talk to your advocate about options.
I also think you’re going to have to get better at working with the school, wherever your child ends up. This is your child’s first year at the school. They barely know him and how he acts at home probably is quite different than what they see in the school environment. Similarly, what works at home isn’t likely to work at school. They need time to figure out what works. You’ve had years to figure him out and you only have one or a few kids.
Why is it a long hard road for us? Other parents are sending their kids to Baltimore Lab, McLean, and Diener that have ADHD and have access to OT, hourly movement breaks, unrestricted fidget toy access, small class sizes, social skills trainings, and more 1:1 support. Public school is not a good fit for him like its not a good fit for other SN kids.
Back to my original question though - what ADHD multi-sensory active all day schools do you guys have experience with? That's all my child needs. I want recommendations and experience for schools you guys have used.
Anonymous wrote:theflash1985 wrote:Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning
So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.
They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.
I said mainstream privates , not privates that focus specifically on ADHd kids. I’m not familiar with those schools because I’m in Baltimore. And declining to admit a child who has documented episodes of physically assaulting staff- which is unfortunately what kicking the staff is- is not unreasonable and does not mean a school “only wants perfect emotionally mature 5 year olds”. You’d do your son a favor to drop the argumentative tone with people who are trying to be friendly and help you.
I’m not arguing, just frustrated that so many schools don’t actually support SN kids the way they should. If your child doesn’t struggle with aggression, it can be hard to understand what it’s really like. A 5-year-old has very little control when they’re dysregulated — the hitting or kicking isn’t intentional, it’s a stress response. My son is lucky to have parents like us not doing him a disservice at all - most other SN parents I've seen at the school just send the kids to school and don't even know who the Case Manager is or if services have started.
Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP, no non-special education school is going to take your son with these current challenges. Nor do you want to set the school or child up for failure like this. I disagree with PP that a parochial school may be appropriate here in light of the fact that a one on one aid isn't helping.
This leaves you with public and special ed schools. Typically, public schools are best for special education. It has only been three months and it's kindergarten. I highly encourage you to engage with your son's current school. The wheels of special education move slowly and the teacher is responsible for 20+ students plus your child.
I am curious about how preschool worked for your child and his diagnosis.
Signed former teacher and special needs mom
Thanks for your quick reply. But Why do people always assume parents aren't engaged with the school?
I've talked to the evil Case Manager everyday since school started. probably over 100 emails and ClassDojo messages. My wife and I have had already 3 IEP meetings since school started, they refuse to do his services, refuse to talk to our advocate, denied all our parent requests at all IEP meetings, prinicpal has ignored all our emails, refused to modify incorrect PWN, denied him FAPE multiple times, grabbed his wrist and he says it hurts during elopement, and in retaliation of us asking too many questions and requesting data added unauthorized IEP amendment change saying he can only use his fidget toys to 5 minutes. Public school ain't it.
Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning
So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.
They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.
My 5-year-old is in PG County School kindergarten and has ADHD and big-emotion regulation challenges. When he’s supported, he’s funny, bright, and social — but his school isn’t following his IEP at all. OT denied, 1:1 aide just “observes,” no social-skills help, and they even limit his fidget toys to five minutes.
He’s now so frustrated he’s started eloping and has kicked staff during meltdowns. He’s not a “bad” kid — he’s dysregulated and needs adults who know how to help him calm and re-engage.
We’re looking for PRIVATE schools that truly understand ADHD, anxiety, and emotional regulation — and won’t kick a kid out while he adjusts. Considering Baltimore Lab (would have to wait until Fall 2026), McLean, Diener, and maybe Montessori or nature-based options like Green Acres or Burgundy Farm. I REFUSE TO DO PUBLIC AGAIN AFTER THIS 3 MONTHS OF HELL!!!
He thrives when he’s active, outside, and doing hands-on learning. Private tuition is wild, but we’ll make it work — we just can’t stay here past Christmas (which is in 6 weeks!!!). We’re open to moving to Montgomery/Baltimore/Anne Arundel/Howard County and would love any firsthand recs for supportive schools that actually follow accommodations. Also, do private schools do mid-year transfers - I CANT WAIT TILL FALL 2026!!! They are HURTING MY DS and WE FEEL STUCK!!!!
-Concerned Dad
He’s now so frustrated he’s started eloping and has kicked staff during meltdowns. He’s not a “bad” kid — he’s dysregulated and needs adults who know how to help him calm and re-engage.
We’re looking for PRIVATE schools that truly understand ADHD, anxiety, and emotional regulation — and won’t kick a kid out while he adjusts. Considering Baltimore Lab (would have to wait until Fall 2026), McLean, Diener, and maybe Montessori or nature-based options like Green Acres or Burgundy Farm. I REFUSE TO DO PUBLIC AGAIN AFTER THIS 3 MONTHS OF HELL!!!
He thrives when he’s active, outside, and doing hands-on learning. Private tuition is wild, but we’ll make it work — we just can’t stay here past Christmas (which is in 6 weeks!!!). We’re open to moving to Montgomery/Baltimore/Anne Arundel/Howard County and would love any firsthand recs for supportive schools that actually follow accommodations. Also, do private schools do mid-year transfers - I CANT WAIT TILL FALL 2026!!! They are HURTING MY DS and WE FEEL STUCK!!!!
-Concerned Dad