You have received many informative replies to your post so I won't go over the same information. She sounds like a lively child who loves movement and dancing. As a school psychologist I would think that she would need to show more neurological signs before an ADOS is considered for a 2 year old. She is a little young to be looking at ADHD and speech delays. Our grandson did not talk till 3 years old but once he did his vocabulary was advanced and we realized as he grew up that he was an observer rather than a talker and a very gifted engineer. There is so much fear now regarding developmental delays and disorders it is easy to get caught up with making premature diagnoses on isolated symptoms. Time will tell. If there is a true developmental disorder you will know in time. Meanwhile, enjoy your daughter and don't let others comments or stares affect you or your daughter. Hugs to you.

Wow! Sometimes you catch a break. Your son sounds like he is still in elementary school. I would want the teacher to know what a positive effect he/she is having on your son. Everyone can use some positive feedback. Anxiety is such a tough state of mind for the person and their family. So glad to hear that he is happy. My prayers are with you for his growth in self confidence.

After reading all the replies to your post and your additional information, I am trying to figure out what your mother and you are trying to accomplish with family therapy by phone that includes you and your father. It would seem that your mother needs to work out her relationship with him in order to be free to visit her daughter and grandchildren without him if he has no interest in you or your children. It doesn't sound like she has the will or grit to do it and you certainly can't provide it for her on long-distance telephone. I would voice this to her but if you feel you must go through with the family therapy it would be best to go into it with no expectations but listen respectfully and bring conversation back to mom about what she hopes for and is going to do about the situation rather than what dad is going to do. He has already made it clear by his actions, words, etc. The question is "why is mom allowing this type of control in their relationship." My best to you as you deal with your parent's dysfunctional relationship that spills over into your life.

You have received many good replies to your post about supervision so I will try not to repeat. For the most part silent supervision,where you become part of the background, is the best way to go once children reach 4 or 5 yrs of age when they are experienced enough to know what is safe play. Observing rather than interfering unless your child is being bullied by a group of children at which time you need to step in to let the troublemakers know that your child will be defended and that their behavior is unacceptable. Otherwise observe what happens and talk to your child afterwards about how they handled a problem situation and what they might do instead if it happened to them the next time- rather than to interfere at the time. If they themselves are misbehaving-step in to let them know that people don't act that way to others so that they learn what is unacceptable behavior. Even as adolescents, your teens need to know that you trust them but that your job as a smart parent will be to know what they are doing- such as randomly checking phone and email, social media. Your supervision job doesn't end in elementary school if you are wise. Spoken as a school psychologist in a large high school and mother of 3 grandmother of 9. Best wishes to you in your parenting journey!!

I relied on Dr. James Dobson's book The New Dare To Discipline for all of my three children and my children have as well. Very sage advice from a clinical child psychologist that is still relevant to our changing culture. He also has written other books on developing your child's self worth, the Strong Willed Child, etc. You may want to read more than one book to compare what you are learning. My best to you in your search for wise counsel on raising your children.

You've already gotten some good ideas as how to say no politely to the idea of spending vacations together and still show kindness and respect. It struck me as quite sad that they aren't able to come up with their own plans or friends who are more receptive to them. Are they new to the area?

I am surprised that she is suspended for her meltdown types of behavior since this can be pretty typical of ASD and is part of the purpose of the IEP to prevent it. I am assuming that she has Behavior Plan BIP with a functional analysis to see what triggers her meltdowns. If not she will need one which becomes part of her IEP and needs to be updated at intervals especially if her behavior is escalating. You didn't mention what her age or grade is and if she is in a special day program or in an RSP program. Are you noticing any changes in her behavior or mood at home? Sometimes there is a bullying situation going on or maybe there are family issues that are affecting her. You may need to contact the special education director in your district or make an appointment with the school psychologist at her school site. The other responses you received are good and worth checking out and pursuing. You are wise to be pursuing answers and more support. Hugs!!

It sounds like your DS has a very complicated case. After reading through all the comments I also wondered if the dyspraxia could be an issue with the drooling and slack jaw, difficulty sitting up straight, speech difficulties, etc. He actually seems to have some of the symptoms suggestive of very mild cerebral palsy. Was there any birth trauma? With time you will know more of the particulars of his diagnosis but it is difficult not knowing now. Fortunately he is receiving help early on for his developmental problems. My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayer is that your family and your son become stronger through this ordeal. Hugs to you.

My experience with anxiety with children at a young age (as a therapist and school psychologist) was more with shyness about social situations and avoidance/ wanting to stay home from school so it surprised me to hear that it seems more anger and acting out issues as you reported that he/she was having more school behavior issues which appears to be a problem with impulse control or situational stress. Either way it sounds like you are getting parental coaching and therapy for him/her to help with the problem till school is finished in a couple of months. You also mentioned that he would not want to leave his/her friends if pulled out of the school situation which sounds as though he likes school enough to make social connections. Has anything happened to family members or your living situation within the last few months that may be affecting his behavior since you describe that he/she was intense in the past but that your child started demonstrating these anger symptoms a few months ago. Kudos to you for being sensitive to your child's issues and willing to seek help rather than just hoping it will improve with time. Hugs to you and your family

After reading all of the other responses to your post it seems the majority of the opinion was that the school had been very accommodating to your need to make sure that your 3 yr old transitioned well into their new pre-school and that the teacher's time in the morning needed to be spent in supervising and observing the children within their classroom rather than chatting with parents. They were very aware of your needs and sound like a considerate staff.
It is natural for a parent to have difficulty giving up the control of their children to another person when they are young. You mentioned that you enter the classroom to place your child's items in their cubby which makes me wonder if this is another sign of difficulty in relinquishing your child to another. Is the child expected to place his belongings (which they are perfectly capable at 3 if the pack isn't too heavy or needs to be placed too high) or does the teacher take the child's belongings? Either way it isn't your job to do so. As a recovering "control" person that would be something I would do. I remember attending a Mom and ME class when my child was 2 at a local community college. The first thing the teacher taught the parents was to let the child bring his things in, get out their own colors/paper, lay out their blanket to nap on, etc. Basically to train us parents to give our children the chance to control their own environment when they were developmentally able to do so. It was a great lesson for me as I was always trying to do everything for my child- which is controlling! In the end it is more loving to let them develop independency skills on their own. I hope this helps.

Does your son live with his father? I am wondering since you said the argument was over the phone. If so he is may be observing how his father is relating to other people in the same way that he related to you or pushed your buttons. Either way your son has some of the same tendencies or behaviors and you see how is able to push your buttons. The good news is that your son is able to connect what he is doing to you rather than being ignorant of his own behavior. If you can identify it you have more power to change it. It would help him if you recognize this behavior, towards you, early on so that you can give him feedback immediately to stop it. Also to remind him that this type of behavior pushes people away from you and does he really want to alienate people who he loves. Just because he learned it doesn't mean he can't stop it and learn other ways to deal with frustration or anger when he can't get his way. He will feel much better about himself if he is able to learn more healthy ways to handle conflict. I hope this is helpful. Hugs to you.

He is definitely on track for talking at 16 months as many of the responses to your post expressed. As a side note, my grandson didn't really begin to talk until almost 3 except for echoing other peoples words. As a school psychologist I was very concerned but at 3 he had a large expressive vocabulary and was a very gifted student who is now 24 employed as an engineer. I realized after observing him throughout the years that he was one to observe and listen carefully rather than being quick to speak. I realized he had been observing and listening for three years because by the time he was talking he was an interesting conversationalist. So personality and temperament also play a role in language performance. As a rule, boy's language doesn't develop as quickly as girls and the youngest child doesn't talk as quickly as a first born child since there is less need to as their needs are often anticipated.

What a difficult situation that the two of you have innocently created, i.e. your logic that it made more sense for him to be home rather than you due to your career. Problem is in my estimation that DH has not been in the work force for over 11 years and has probably lost his confidence as men are prone to do when not employed and he is probably less employable now and will need to settle for a less desirable job. Also from how you describe his typical day he seems to be hiding from reality and what he does as a SAHM is hit or miss. I am not sure of why he didn't return to work after the 5-6 years that the two of you agreed upon which would have been less time out of the workforce. I would seek marital counseling which may reveal that your husband is depressed and feeling worthless underneath what appears to be laziness. Either way the two of you would benefit from having a third party help you devise a plan to reestablish roles and the division of work that goes into maintaining a marriage and family, if you are to continue to stay married. Right now both of you are resentful of each other. You both will probably have to compromise. Life is too short to waste it on resentment and bitterness and it affects your children's future happiness. My son is a SAHD getting ready to go back to work after 6 1/2 years and jobs available are looking pretty bleak so I am speaking from personal observation. Hugs to all of you.

I would agree with the comments recommending a second opinion which can be accomplished by another professional looking at all of the former test results and reports and their own observation rather than redoing the assessment, As a school psychologist trained in neuro-psych testing and a mother of an ADHD son, I've found that symptoms of ADHD can be diagnosed by a young age but often accompany other diagnoses and you may need to wait until your child gets older for the diagnosis to become more clear. Meanwhile providing a structured home environment with good supervision is very important, i.e. regular bedtime and mealtimes. Balance of outdoor play and quiet time, etc. Physical exercise is beneficial to any ADHD person at any age. There are many resources available that deal with this issue such as in books or websites. One I have found very helpful on parenting and working with special needs children is Focus on The Family.com . I would look for another pediatrician as another comment expressed as there are other ways to express disagreement with an issue than to discount another professionals work and it shows a lack of humility and unwillingness to learn from others on her part. I would be interested in a follow up as to what you find out in the future about his diagnosis.

You are the opposite of a sociopath as you care and want others to like you rather than being indifferent to others. You also have a lot of "spunk " or courage as demonstrated by attending a choral practice that you didn't make in hopes you could still be a part of it. We are all a little weird, some just cover it up a little better. If you are serious about wanting to make friends other than husband you might find a group with like interests since it is much easier to connect with others who have passion for the same hobbies or interests. I found as an older person moving to a new state that Bible studies were a fun safe place to connect with other women. Or gardening, painting, animals, etc. Good luck and hugs to you!