Food allergy parents — how careful are you with restaurants?

Anonymous
DC has a severe nut allergy. So far we’ve been informing restaurants of the allergy and asking about nuts every time we place an order. Is there anything I need to think about doing to be safe? Thanks for any tips and pointers, I’m new to this and find it a bit overwhelming.
Anonymous
There is a Facebook group, Peanut and Tree Nut Allergy Moms. I suggest you join and ask there, as some folks here can be really nasty about food allergies.

One of my daughters has a severe PN/TN allergy. She almost died of anaphylaxis after eating cross contaminated candy when she was 8, so we are very cautious. Before going to a restaurant we check the website for an allergen menu, check AllergyEats (https://www.allergyeats.com/), and if needed call ahead and speak to the manager. Some restaurants take allergies more seriously than others; if you have any doubt, skip it, even if it inconveniences others. We cook a lot at home. There are some restaurants that have no nuts on the premises (like Chipotle) that tend to be our go tos.

Good luck! I know how stressful this can be and wish you the best.
Anonymous
PP again - and we have found that some chain restaurants are much better about food allergies because they have training and standardized ingredient lists. Also, some cuisines are particularly challenging for PN/TN families -- we know kids who have reacted at Chinese, Thai, and Indian restaurants even after being clear about their allergy.
Anonymous
If you have a kid with a severe nut allergy, don’t eat at a Thai restaurant. Skip Chinese restaurants too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There is a Facebook group, Peanut and Tree Nut Allergy Moms. I suggest you join and ask there, as some folks here can be really nasty about food allergies.

One of my daughters has a severe PN/TN allergy. She almost died of anaphylaxis after eating cross contaminated candy when she was 8, so we are very cautious. Before going to a restaurant we check the website for an allergen menu, check AllergyEats (https://www.allergyeats.com/), and if needed call ahead and speak to the manager. Some restaurants take allergies more seriously than others; if you have any doubt, skip it, even if it inconveniences others. We cook a lot at home. There are some restaurants that have no nuts on the premises (like Chipotle) that tend to be our go tos.

Good luck! I know how stressful this can be and wish you the best.


Thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear about your child. That must have been very scary. How was the candy cross contaminated, do you know?

My child is not peanut allergic, and so far what we know is that there are allergies to two tree nuts. The two are walnut and pecan. Many restaurants don’t use them in cooking. We do need to avoid baked goods because servers may not change gloves. I read that some people avoid restaurants because someone might be eating a peanut butter sandwich on break or whatever, and I hadn’t thought about that... sometimes I just worry I haven’t thought of all the things to avoid.

The first allergist we went to did a skin test and told us all nuts besides walnuts were fine. I gave DC a pecan while I was baking and we ended up in the ER. We are no longer with that allergist.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you have a kid with a severe nut allergy, don’t eat at a Thai restaurant. Skip Chinese restaurants too.


Thanks. We’ve avoided that so far because it’s difficult to communicate the issue fully. One Chinese restaurant I emailed did have a knowledgeable chef who took me through every dish and said which ones we had to avoid because they were cooked in the same pan as a dish that used walnuts. I felt all right about it and we ate there with no problems — order was flagged and prepared separately, etc. But now I wonder if I’m being too lax and should be avoiding any restaurant with the food on the premises.
Anonymous
As far as the allergist goes, the blood tests aren’t confirmatory. Though I would do a good challenge for any suspected allergy. We’ve had success with hazelnut (yay Nutella), cashews and pistachios. We have so many others though including some almonds and other tree nuts, peanuts, sesame, fish...we try to be careful. My son loves sushi, but we ended up in the ER because we ordered from a different restaurant and the sushi had peanut sauce. We also ended up in the ER because of contaminated cashew butter from WF. Always carry Benedryl and an epipen. No matter how careful you are, you never know. Make sure your child knows the signs of a reaction and what to do. Allergies make such simple things so much harder and anxiety inducing (parties, sleep away camp, etc).
Anonymous
Beyond what you're already doing -

ALWAYS bring the Epipen, non expired, and make sure everyone remembers how to use it. It's relevant for families who didn't go out at all during the pandemic and may be rusty on such things.

I agree with others that certain cuisines are fraught. My children are half-Vietnamese, but we have avoided Vietnamese restaurants ever since my son had a spectacular anaphylactic reaction there, because of an ordering mix-up. Thankfully no one likes Thai in our family, so that's not on the list. We love Japanese restaurants, they usually don't have any nuts on the menu. Korean works too. We always ask, of course.


Anonymous
All of this. There are websites online that list chain restaurants that are good with food allergies. For non-chain you've got to talk to the restaurant and see how comfortable you are.

We are doing oral immunotherapy for my kid with nut allergies. If it's the right choice for you, it can be life changing. We took my kid for ice cream this weekend and didn't need any special treatment.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you have a kid with a severe nut allergy, don’t eat at a Thai restaurant. Skip Chinese restaurants too.


We skip Chinese and Thai restaurants too. Otherwise, I’ll say something if there are nuts on the menu but I don’t always say something.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is a Facebook group, Peanut and Tree Nut Allergy Moms. I suggest you join and ask there, as some folks here can be really nasty about food allergies.

One of my daughters has a severe PN/TN allergy. She almost died of anaphylaxis after eating cross contaminated candy when she was 8, so we are very cautious. Before going to a restaurant we check the website for an allergen menu, check AllergyEats (https://www.allergyeats.com/), and if needed call ahead and speak to the manager. Some restaurants take allergies more seriously than others; if you have any doubt, skip it, even if it inconveniences others. We cook a lot at home. There are some restaurants that have no nuts on the premises (like Chipotle) that tend to be our go tos.

Good luck! I know how stressful this can be and wish you the best.


Thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear about your child. That must have been very scary. How was the candy cross contaminated, do you know?

My child is not peanut allergic, and so far what we know is that there are allergies to two tree nuts. The two are walnut and pecan. Many restaurants don’t use them in cooking. We do need to avoid baked goods because servers may not change gloves. I read that some people avoid restaurants because someone might be eating a peanut butter sandwich on break or whatever, and I hadn’t thought about that... sometimes I just worry I haven’t thought of all the things to avoid.

The first allergist we went to did a skin test and told us all nuts besides walnuts were fine. I gave DC a pecan while I was baking and we ended up in the ER. We are no longer with that allergist.


My child is allergic to walnuts and pecans too. They apparently go together as far as allergies are concerned so if you’re allergic to one your most likely allergic to the other. I’m really wary about restaurants because it’s seems like lots of places use walnuts for pesto and other things. Our sons ds said he can have almonds, but I’m too scared to try.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All of this. There are websites online that list chain restaurants that are good with food allergies. For non-chain you've got to talk to the restaurant and see how comfortable you are.

We are doing oral immunotherapy for my kid with nut allergies. If it's the right choice for you, it can be life changing. We took my kid for ice cream this weekend and didn't need any special treatment.


Tell me more about this. Can it be done for tree nuts?
Anonymous
09:45 again.

Two more things: RE-TEST regularly and DESENSITIZE certain foods, if possible.

Allergies to nuts can expand over time to include more items.
My son started out with a peanut allergy, then over many years developed an allergy to pistachios, hazelnuts, almonds, pecans, and now even has a slight reaction to certain seeds. We discovered them as he started reacting to them, dangerously so when he tried pistachios.

Our allergist told us that there is a point of sensitivity at which it's important for the child to KEEP EATING the food in a desensitization effort. This is what we do for sesame seeds - which are common in Japanese cuisine and hummus, which my son loves. He has a slight sensitivity to it, but it has never progressed beyond that.
Unfortunately, since there are many nuts that we don't eat regularly, and our pediatrician had told us to avoid all nuts when he was small and we discovered his peanut allergy, we were too late for almonds and hazelnuts, which are widely used in all types of cuisines. He reacts too much for him to be able to desensitize casually through eating small amounts of these.

So please keep checking in with your allergist.
Anonymous
All of this advice sounds wise, I just want to add a perspective as a former waitress. Don't be shy - tell EVERYONE who is involved in your food. Tell the hostess when you arrive. Tell your waitress as soon as you sit down. Tell your waitress AGAIN when you order. Say it AGAIN when your food arrives. "Thank you, looks delicious. Just confirming - his meal is nut free right? He has a severe nut allergy." If another waitress takes your dessert order, tell her, too.

Restaurants will take this VERY seriously, but waitresses are also very busy - you don't want to be in a risky situation because someone forgot to put it on the ticket for the chef.

Additionally - no matter what research you do before hand or who you talk to beforehand, or what you're ordering - you still need to be clear about it day of with your waitress. Not "oh, we're the ones who called ahead, we're getting this dish cause it's safe" but "my son has a severe nut allergy." A restaurant nearby had someone die at the table because they ordered the chili assuming it was safe - but it was thickened with peanut butter. Completely avoidable if they had just said something to the waitress.

And honestly, we don't mind at all. We want your kid to leave happy and healthy. The only people who bother us are the people who insist they're "allergic to gluten" the whole meal (so the kitchen is sanitizing and avoiding cross contamination and doing all this extra work) and then when it comes time for dessert and we would say "all our desserts have gluten, unfortunately, but we can make you a fruit plate" all of a sudden, "Oh a little gluten is fine." Ugh. But a true allergy? We want to help!
Anonymous
Older DD and I have peanut/tree nut allergies. We have our go-to restaurants that we know are safe, but I still verify when there. Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, and Indian is completely off-limits. I’m not comfortable with the risk, no matter what they tell me. Japanese has proven to be safe for us. Mexican can be tricky...some sauces contain peanut (some enchilada and mole sauces). I didn’t realize that until having a reaction to house-made enchilada sauce at a Mexican restaurant in CA. It contained peanuts.
Our younger DD was just diagnosed with an egg allergy, and that one is proving to be more difficult to navigate. I’m having to research EVERYTHING...even lotions, sunscreens, soap, cleaning products. Plus, the cross-contamination risk seems worse...no more McDonalds, since there’s a shared griddle, etc.
Agree with PPs about making sure you are working with an excellent allergist. I wonder if I could have prevented older DD’s allergy if I had kept up constant exposure to nuts instead of just occasional...but, with severe allergies myself, we just don’t keep those foods in the house. Now I am struggling with how to intro peanuts/tree nuts to our younger DD without it posing a risk to older DD and myself.
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