I need some ideas on what the next step is for toddler discipline

[maynie]

I have a 3 year old that, until recently, doesn't give my husband and I too many problems. She listens well, has a great attitude, and generally is very pleasant to be around. She's given us the normal range of toddler behavior that hasn't really bothered me because I expect it. When she threw a tantrum, or misbehaved, we put her in a time out.
In the last few weeks she has started talking back, (being flip, I guess you could say), not doing what we ask (says she's tired or "You do it") and just giving us trouble. Time outs work for her in that they calm her down and kind of cool things down for a few minutes. She always apologizes and seems to understand why we don't want her doing those things, but then is right back to it a few minutes later.
So now I'm wondering what are few other methods to try to let her know the behavior is not ok. I don't believe in spanking, so other than that I'm open to suggestions. She cooperates for time outs and will sit there as long as you want her too not matter what is going on around her, but we need a few more ideas of what to do.

[Anonymous]

maynie wrote:I have a 3 year old that, until recently, doesn't give my husband and I too many problems. She listens well, has a great attitude, and generally is very pleasant to be around. She's given us the normal range of toddler behavior that hasn't really bothered me because I expect it. When she threw a tantrum, or misbehaved, we put her in a time out.
In the last few weeks she has started talking back, (being flip, I guess you could say), not doing what we ask (says she's tired or "You do it") and just giving us trouble. Time outs work for her in that they calm her down and kind of cool things down for a few minutes. She always apologizes and seems to understand why we don't want her doing those things, but then is right back to it a few minutes later.
So now I'm wondering what are few other methods to try to let her know the behavior is not ok. I don't believe in spanking, so other than that I'm open to suggestions. She cooperates for time outs and will sit there as long as you want her too not matter what is going on around her, but we need a few more ideas of what to do.

Hello my friend, I think your asking a terrific question. I used to talk to parents about this when I was a teacher and now at parties parents will sometimes ask advice. Your doing the right thing by trying to nip it in the bud early. The number one thing I always tell parents is don't make empty threats. Kids want boundaries and they will test you to see if you follow through them. Beleive or not they will resent you more later in life if they never had boundaries. How many times have you heard a mom say "one more time and were leaving" and not leave. The child has tuned the parent out. You always have to be willing to call a child's bluff. Take away a toy, don't let them watch their favorite show, etc. Your on the right track by demanding respect, because you'll have it easier when their older because it will be instilled in them. Consistency will prevail. I h ave seen friends raise kids from early on and seen the type of teenagers the'ye turned into, and their fantastic kids. Good luck As far as discipline. It can be anything they consider a privilege such as desert, actually that you consider a privilege. The Great Zucchini

[Anonymous]

I tell my children that they are not allowed to speak to me that way, and to go to their rooms. They are allowed to return when they can be civil.

[Anonymous]

We had good experience with a behaviour chart. Every day we started with a clean piece of paper or half a paper. If DS did something bad, including talking back, we drew a sad face on the chart. When DS did something good, like say please or show compassion, we put on a smiley face. We went over the chart every evening. We gave lots of praise for smiley faces. We gave a reward for 5 days in a row of all smiley faces. After a month or so of this, he really got the idea, and the mere threat of a sad face corrected his behaviour.

[maynie]

Anonymous wrote:We had good experience with a behaviour chart. Every day we started with a clean piece of paper or half a paper. If DS did something bad, including talking back, we drew a sad face on the chart. When DS did something good, like say please or show compassion, we put on a smiley face. We went over the chart every evening. We gave lots of praise for smiley faces. We gave a reward for 5 days in a row of all smiley faces. After a month or so of this, he really got the idea, and the mere threat of a sad face corrected his behaviour.

I like this idea because I think she is old enough to grasp the concept.

Thank you for the replies. If anyone else has something to add, please share.