What do you do about ALL THE TOYS??

[Anonymous]

I'll admit I'm very minimalist. I don't like owning a lot of things, and I can't stand clutter. DH is a gift-giver, so every time he goes out, he buys another toy for DC4.

Now the toys are out of control. I don't go into DC's room because the floor is covered in toys. At any given moment, 3-4 other rooms of the house have toys scattered everywhere.

I've decided I won't pick up toys anymore since I don't even want that many and DC is old enough to clean up. This also means I can't do things like vacuum, because I have to pick up toys to do so. DH gets upset and makes snotty remarks when he's stuck picking them up/cleaning.

I don't even want to be in my own home anymore because it's so gross.

What do I do? Slowly throw them away and pray no one notices?

[Anonymous]

Designate a few shelves, baskets/areas for toys. Once the toy collection has outgrown those spots, it's time to pair down. I usually pull toys that haven't been played with a put in a box out of sight. If no one asks for the toy within a few weeks, I donate it or give it away. If it's a junk toy (like from a happy meal) it goes right into the trash.

The issue with your DH is harder. But ask him to save the toys for celebration times, like a birthday or Christmas (if you celebrate). So when he thinks of a good gift, find it on Amazon and add it to a private wish list. Then when it's time to buy birthday gifts, you already have a bunch of ideas.

You could also try "one in, one out" with your husband. So if he's buying another toy car, ok, but which toy car are they going to get rid of?

[Anonymous]

Also realize that as kids get older, often the toys get smaller. As your son gets older, you can turn toy storage over to his job. Meaning, he has a shelf in his room for toys and maybe a shelf in another room. If his toys aren't put away, they get donated.

So with 1 four year old, you are on the brink of this getting more manageable.

[Anonymous]

You rotate them out. So on the next cold and dreary rainy day you bring out said toys and what is old is new again. AKA rainy day closet.

We also have a small car-only toy basket. And one for the stroller too (when kids were younger).

Also, are you making good use of the space - book bin/shelves/under the bed storage, etc.
I use my old hanging shoe organizer, hung it on DD's door, and she now has 20 spaces for figurines, acorns, and all the toys to be easily stored, find, and within arms-reach.

Sometimes, it just looks worse b/c toys are scattered (which kids love by the way, but irritates the hec out of adults) and have no good home to store them/put them away.

[Anonymous]

I have taken a different combination of approaches over the years including:

-regularly getting rid of the junk (goodie bag items, happy meal toys, things with missing pieces, etc.)
-occasionally going through everything and getting rid of things they dont really play with, or that seem duplicative
-roating toys in and out so not everything it out at once
-having the kids help organize, with designated bins for certain types of toys - they get into it and stick to the system better that way
-have had the kids fill up 2 bins with toys to give away, and in exchange they get to pick out one small coveted item

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are like your husband and we end up with way to many toys.

What we do:

- some toys stay at grandparents (not helpful in your case)
- DS has designated boxes for his toys and has to clean them up after he carpets his floor with them.
- put some away periodically - this is key! He’s allowed to pick a set number of toys to keep out (ex. 5 big, 10 medium, 15 small) and everything else is boxed up and not reachable. This means he has toys out that he’s chosen to play with. We also donate toys (GP giving is over the top and lots of small inexpensive toys) because we don’t have room for everything.

[Anonymous]

Two things.

First, yes: get rid of toys. If you child is 4, there are definitely toys in his room that are no longer age appropriate. Hold onto a few of them for sentimental value (I have a shelf in my DC's room for just this purpose) and donate the rest.

Second, you need to guide your child toward organization by creating a system that works for him and helping him understand it. Yes, bins with labels are great, or shelves with lots of sections for different toys. Encourage your son to put away toys before getting out another one. He won't do this at first, but you need to keep reinforcing this behavior and eventually it will stick. Set aside times of day (or arrange this with your nanny or other caregiver) that are for cleanup. We do cleanup before snacks and mealtimes, as well as before afternoon quiet time and bedtime. If you do it periodically instead of all at the end of the day, there will be less to clean up and it should go quicker and be more pleasant for you and your child. We usually spend no more than 5 minutes straightening up each time, so it's like 20 minutes total for the whole day. That's manageable for him and for you, as you probably will have to help him a lot of the time.

But definitely identify certain things he can always do on his own, and slowly expand this set. My DC (age 3) puts her clothes in the hamper on her own, and knows where to put her shoes each time she comes home. She can also put her stuffed animals away on her bed and put her books away on their shelves. She generally needs more help with putting away games and puzzles and blocks, and her kitchen stuff. But we can usually make it a game and divide up tasks so it's not me or my husband doing it all.

Clean up time is also a great time to reinforce academic concepts. Sometimes I tell my daughter to collect all the red blocks and put them in the bin. Or find all the rectangles. Or line up five stuffed animals on her pillows. It's a really easy way to make clean up time more engaging and connect it to other things she is learning.

[Anonymous]

Try to get your DH on board with not buying so many toys.
Maybe ask him to put whatever money would have been spent on the toy into your child's college fund. Or start a fund for something else like a spectacular vacation that you can take as a family.

[Anonymous]

I do the one in and one out rule. If you buy something new, something old needs to go.

But in my house, the other rule is that if you leave it on the floor, I am allowed to throw it away, give it away or recycle it.

How old is your kid? Get storage for the toys and teach your kid to clean his/her room and then start the rule above. Works like a charm for me. I even use it on my husband and he's learned quickly not to leave stuff on the floor.

[Anonymous]

Organizing helps a lot. We added organization bit by bit when the kids were really young - so first we made a box for train stuff and another box for cars, and spent a few weeks making it clear that trains and cars go in those two boxes (and gently correcting the child when trains were out in the wrong box, etc). After that was mastered, we added a couple more specific boxes. We use a combination of cube storage for big stuff and those ugly open bin systems (Like this one https://www.target.com/p/delta-children-kids-39-toy-storage-organizer-with-12-plastic-bins/-/A-79639406). It’s ugly, but the kids can easily find their stuff (and easily see where it goes without a label) so they are less likely to dump everything out in order to find one thing.

I also highly recommend boxing stuff up and getting rid of some and storing some away for rotation or rainy day play.

I can’t tell if you’ve ever sat down and had a serious talk with DH about how the clutter is overwhelming you and about why it is important to him to buy so much stuff. If you haven’t, sit down and really listen to each other and then try to find a middle ground. This is more important than any organizational scheme.

[Anonymous]

You and DH need to get on the same page. Or you could become my and DH's sister-wife since we're both on the minimalist side.

He needs to think about what he's actually giving your child by buying him gifts - does he want to be the favorite parent, does he genuinely think the gift is something the kid doesn't have any of, is it just impulse buying, etc. Then he needs to think about at what point enough is enough. Where are all those toys supposed to go? Is there actually room for all of them?

BTW, just to be fair, a 4 yr old can NOT clean up all their toys when they have a lot. Just like you're overwhelmed by the mess, your 4 yr old is overwhelmed too.