Son switching to Community College

[Anonymous]

Its a mixed feeling as the fall back to college season starts My son decided he is not going back for his sophomore year to out of state college instead will be doing community college online.
It was exciting same time last year now everything seems to have come crashing down along with Pandemic stress.

His reason is he does not like the school anymore. Trying community college and transfer to instate college gradually.

I feel I failed somewhere as a parent....

[Anonymous]

You’ve raised a kid who has a mind of his own and can judge when something isn’t working. I transferred after my freshman year and I was a bit scared to tell my mom about it. But the school wasn’t right for me and I couldn’t imagine spending four years there. It all worked out well in the end. This will too. Support him because it probably wasn’t an easy decision.

[Anonymous]

This whole sheltering in place has given everyone time to think.

Perhaps your son realized he was on some treadmill that would not lead to a place he wanted to go.

Love him while everything percolates. You did not fail.

In fact, it MAY be a healthy sign that he has enough self-awareness to change course. Support him while he figures things out.

[Anonymous]

PS-I think that the pandemic will make a very credible story for what ever school he decides to transfer into.

It is a reckoning of sorts, and he has been shaken. His new course might be more authentic to him and that will ring true to the next choice.

[Anonymous]

Former professor here. He is doing the the smart thing and saving you tons of money. This is not going to be a good year at any university at the nation. There are also huge lessons to be learned from his fellow students at community college. This is not a disaster.

[Anonymous]

You should be glad that he is not talking about quitting college.

This is workable.

[Anonymous]

Apparently you raised a very smart young man. Be proud mom, you did good. He wasn't happy and he chose to change his plan, but in a way that he continues moving forward. Kudos to him and you! Nothing at all wrong with community college.

[Anonymous]

+1. Be proud!

[Anonymous]

He’s saving a boatload if $$ and will learn a lot! Make sure he gets credit for HS classes like English, Spanish, Math. CLEP out.

[Anonymous]

Relax. I did that exact thing myself. I decided not to return to my original school, did a year of CC, then enrolled in my state university.

I turned out fine. Went on to MA and PhD, and a great career.

My mom was pretty upset at the time, though.

[Anonymous]

He is going to be one of a large number of students who does this during this school year, so it won’t be strange or a disaster at all. You’ve raised a son who is able to make the best of a sh*tty situation and reset something that was bothering him in the midst. Many kids may feel the same way, churn their parents’ money and drop out. He’s doing the more productive course. He most likely would have just shifted to a different 4-year school directly without the pandemic. Instead he’s taking this time to get some courses done while everything at most universities is online, for less money. You didn’t fail him at all. He’s a problem-solver who is proactive.

The only thing I might urge him to do is consider transferring to a local 4-year college instead. If grad school is a possibility, some may not recognize the community college credits for some prerequisites. He’s more covered if he completes them at a local 4-year school, and he can accomplish the same goal he is currently seeking.

[Anonymous]

OP, you did NOT fail! It sounds like your kid gave this serious thought and has a plan.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the encouraging words . Will try to stay positive its not easy to digest this when everyone in the community and friends circle are heading back to dorms or apartments for college

Though we are agreeing to disagree with out son ,we been going thru lot of stress on everything falling in line and the support system and "other influences " in community college

I am sure we will over come the societal pressure but its going to be very cautious next 2 years

we are learning in the process and see where what we are lacking as parents .Please let those unbiased feedback coming

Appreciate them..

[Anonymous]

Will try to stay positive its not easy to digest this when everyone in the community and friends circle are heading back to dorms or apartments for college

I am sure we will over come the societal pressure

All this is YOUR problem (parents) - it is nothing to do with your son and you should keep it to yourself.

Your son has to live his own life and chart his own future. He should not return to a school that is wrong for him just because you enjoyed boasting that your son attended a prestige school and now you think the neighbors are laughing at you because your son “failed”. You are not “lacking” as parents because your son changed his mind.

[Anonymous]

I’d be proud of this kid! He k owe what he’s doing and know himself well enough to know what he doesn’t want. That’s maturity!