Why do people spend so much money on weddings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told my kids: I am not paying for weddings and divorces

I tell my kids I’m paying for both!! I want big weddings and also for them to get out of bad marriages if necessary.

+1

[Anonymous]

Obvious answer: because their parents are paying for some or all of it, but wouldn’t give them the cash otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a waste of money…

… when you know it won’t last long.

[Anonymous]

Of course the people who call it “awesome party” or “amazing day”’ would of course be the bride and groom, who would have to describe it as such to justify the cost of all the fanfare. TBH I’ve never actually enjoyed a wedding I’ve attended. They just feel too performative. I would rather just go to
someone’s house for a dinner party, or out to eat at a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

I live in DC, which has a lot of housing- and job-insecure people. While I personally could afford to blow $60k on a wedding, I would feel morally bankrupt to do so. I would have to do a lot of mental gymnastics about supporting the livelihoods of service workers when I know that so much of the cost ends up in the pockets of venue owners and whatnot. I've also never attended a wedding where I thought the expense was worth the guest experience. I guess I just can't appreciate the value of pretty flowers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course the people who call it “awesome party” or “amazing day”’ would of course be the bride and groom, who would have to describe it as such to justify the cost of all the fanfare. TBH I’ve never actually enjoyed a wedding I’ve attended. They just feel too performative. I would rather just go to
someone’s house for a dinner party, or out to eat at a restaurant.

Sorry but I thought my own wedding was an amazing day AND I love other people's weddings. Seeing family and friends, having a reason to celebrate and get dressed up, and of course dancing (plus open bar!)

Can't wait to go to more post-Covid.

You sound a bit joyless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in DC, which has a lot of housing- and job-insecure people. While I personally could afford to blow $60k on a wedding, I would feel morally bankrupt to do so. I would have to do a lot of mental gymnastics about supporting the livelihoods of service workers when I know that so much of the cost ends up in the pockets of venue owners and whatnot. I've also never attended a wedding where I thought the expense was worth the guest experience. I guess I just can't appreciate the value of pretty flowers.

Is that guilt specific to wedding spending? What about spending more on a house than you absolutely need? Or a car, vacation, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in DC, which has a lot of housing- and job-insecure people. While I personally could afford to blow $60k on a wedding, I would feel morally bankrupt to do so. I would have to do a lot of mental gymnastics about supporting the livelihoods of service workers when I know that so much of the cost ends up in the pockets of venue owners and whatnot. I've also never attended a wedding where I thought the expense was worth the guest experience. I guess I just can't appreciate the value of pretty flowers.

Is that guilt specific to wedding spending? What about spending more on a house than you absolutely need? Or a car, vacation, etc?

PP here - and actually a lot of wedding vendors are small businesses (photographers, DJs, hair/makeup ppl etc)

[Anonymous]

I agree that with the price of weddings these days, the expense does not justify the guest experience. Yes, dancing and open bar with friends and family is fun and all, but come on. For me I see it more as like a keeping up with the Joneses/social media rite of passage. Gotta get those wedding pics up and have pictures to post on birthdays and anniversaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they have the money. Some people (or their parents) have more than they know what to do with.

Countering the statement. To appear as if they have money, the reality is it’s on credit and they’re indebted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in DC, which has a lot of housing- and job-insecure people. While I personally could afford to blow $60k on a wedding, I would feel morally bankrupt to do so. I would have to do a lot of mental gymnastics about supporting the livelihoods of service workers when I know that so much of the cost ends up in the pockets of venue owners and whatnot. I've also never attended a wedding where I thought the expense was worth the guest experience. I guess I just can't appreciate the value of pretty flowers.

Well, stuffing your money under your mattress isn't helping housing- and job-insecure people, either...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course the people who call it “awesome party” or “amazing day”’ would of course be the bride and groom, who would have to describe it as such to justify the cost of all the fanfare. TBH I’ve never actually enjoyed a wedding I’ve attended. They just feel too performative. I would rather just go to
someone’s house for a dinner party, or out to eat at a restaurant.

Then why do you go? I mean, seriously, please do everyone a favor and respectfully decline the invitation. So much hand-wringing in this thread! If you don't like someone's party because you wouldn't throw the same party, you don't have to go!

[Anonymous]

We spent many tens of thousands of dollars on our wedding only to have my drunk, obscene father ruin it with his hysterics. It was the most humiliating day of my life and I wish is could forget it.

[Anonymous]

Because they feel it is expected and they have to. Common for those getting married in their 20s. By 30s+ couples
Usually have more sense and spend a lot less

[Anonymous]

I dunno but if I'm ever crazy enough to get married again we're going to JOP.