What would you have done in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Do people really not teach their kids not to touch/climb on things that don't belong to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I have another example, haha. You take your crawling 10-month-old to baby and me music class - a class designed for babies under 18-months. There is a mom in there who has her open purse on the floor, and it's got all kinds of baby bait in it - keys, juice boxes, wallet with cards, etc. Your baby is 10-months-old - yes, she is old enough to be learning basic discipline, but she's not very good at it yet, because she's 10-months-old. Your baby keeps crawling over to the mom's open purse, and you keep telling her no and dragging her away. Eventually she starts crying and you have to leave. Okay, yes, it's good for babies of all ages to learn limits, and I guess this was a good learning opportunity. But still, you brought her to this class so she could play and sing songs for half an hour, and now you have to leave because some other mom can't just put her purse out of the reach of the babies? Notice I didn't say I tried to control anything - I didn't tell the mom to put her purse away. I did what the other PP said, I tried to control my child as much as possible and then I left. But come on, I can't be annoyed at this other mom, at the very least?

You can be a little annoyed because what she did is thoughtless, but honestly, stuff happens. You can't control everything. You could also ask her if she'd mind putting it behind her, but most people (including me) don't do that, they just seethe silently. This dynamic plays out all the time. I can't tell you how annoying I find it that at the Whole Foods I go to, people with fewer than 10 items feel like getting rung up at the Customer Service desk instead of going to the express check-out line, when I am actually waiting to return milk bottles which can only be done at Customer Service. But you know what, the store lets them do it. So I get a bit annoyed but I don't say anything because what is there to say? If I cared enough I'd stop buying glass milk bottles or go to a different store. But I don't. So I suck it up.

A lot of parenting in open spaces is the same. If there are that many thoughtless or annoying people where you go, you go somewhere else, wait til your kid is older, or resign yourself to having to be more hands-on in that particular activity than you'd hoped. But there isn't much point in getting worked up about it and in 8 months you might be that mom with the 18 month old who forgets that a 10 month old is attracted to stuff that an 18 month old doesn't care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say the truth, "I don't want her on the bike" or "Please make sure she does not get on the bike".

Sure Mom shouldn't have let her. However, say ALL that you mean.

+1 The mom gave you the in with "are you not okay with her on the bike?" You should have been polite but firm and direct in your expectation. "You are right, I don't want her to touch the bike and this is the only place I have to put it. Please make sure she does not touch the bike. Thanks for understanding!"

OP here and I DID tell her exactly that! I told the mom "No, I don't want her climbing on the bike. It's really heavy and it will tip and hurt her, and I have to leave." Honestly I couldn't believe that I had to explain to her that her toddler couldn't go climbing on someone else's large bike. As soon as I left, I look back through the door and see the toddler on the bike and it's fallen on her. I know I'm going to get flamed for it, but at that point, I just pretended like I didn't see a thing, and just kept on walking, because I figured at that point, it was her problem.

Is it possible that the bike’s not really as dangerous as you’re making it out to be, OP? Was the 2-year-old actually hurt when it tipped over on her? And when the bike fell on the 2-year-old was the mom mad?

I don’t know if she was hurt or not or if the mom was mad, because I just walked off! I only saw that she was on the bike and the bike had tipped over. The door was closed so I have no idea if she was crying or not. Not dangerous enough that it would cause serious permanent injury, but yes, she could have gotten bruised, scraped, or scratched up if it fell on her. She was tiny and the bike was heavy enough that it’s difficult for my strong older child to handle.

I'm on the of the main PP's on this thread. I don't know why I think it's so interesting haha. It's like a college ethics paper or something! So like, what is your main issue - do you just not want other kids touching your daughter's bike, or are you actually worried about the 2-year-old's safety? If you told the mom what you did, that the bike was heavy and could hurt her daughter, and she said to you "oh, don't worry about it. If she gets hurts, I'll take care of it," would you still care? What if this mom is like a super cyclocross person and is really into her daughter being interested in bicycles and not afraid of them? I mean, no question, this mom sounds extremely lax, to the point of being kind of weird. I definitely wonder why she wasn't more concerned that her child would get hurt. I must have a boring life because this topic is just fascinating me to no end.

Lol it really has turned into quite an interesting philosophical divide! I wasn’t worried about the bike getting damaged, it’s built like a tank. Of course I didn’t want it falling on a little 2yo, and if I were there I would have felt bad if she did get hurt because of the bike. But like I said, the part that was the problem for me was that the mom saw nothing wrong with her 2yo not listening when I told her to get off the bike (though it’s possible she wasn’t in earshot) and that she saw nothing wrong with her child trying to ride someone else’s bike. And then after I told her I didn’t want her on the bike, and I left, she let her on the bike. So for me, I guess it was a respect or boundary issue, or lack therof. And honestly I was miffed! And at the same time I felt a little guilty, so wondered if I was in the wrong at all.

Yea, I'm gonna say, that is definitely weird behavior on her part. I really can't find a way to excuse the other mom not keeping her daughter off your bike. If I were her, I definitely would've stepped in. But also I would've texted my husband about how annoyed I was that some lady showed up with a bike and now I have to keep my daughter away from it haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say the truth, "I don't want her on the bike" or "Please make sure she does not get on the bike".

Sure Mom shouldn't have let her. However, say ALL that you mean.

+1 The mom gave you the in with "are you not okay with her on the bike?" You should have been polite but firm and direct in your expectation. "You are right, I don't want her to touch the bike and this is the only place I have to put it. Please make sure she does not touch the bike. Thanks for understanding!"

OP here and I DID tell her exactly that! I told the mom "No, I don't want her climbing on the bike. It's really heavy and it will tip and hurt her, and I have to leave." Honestly I couldn't believe that I had to explain to her that her toddler couldn't go climbing on someone else's large bike. As soon as I left, I look back through the door and see the toddler on the bike and it's fallen on her. I know I'm going to get flamed for it, but at that point, I just pretended like I didn't see a thing, and just kept on walking, because I figured at that point, it was her problem.

Next time. TAKE THE BIKE WITH YOU. it’s your responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

Umm OP didn’t act victimized. She walked away and the kid still tried to get on the bike. The bike fell on the kid. She didn’t turn around and check on the bike. She didn’t complain that the kid was going to hurt the bike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

Umm OP didn’t act victimized. She walked away and the kid still tried to get on the bike. The bike fell on the kid. She didn’t turn around and check on the bike. She didn’t complain that the kid was going to hurt the bike.

Ummmm. She whined online seeking validation for her own behavior and to make the other mom the feckless baddie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

Umm OP didn’t act victimized. She walked away and the kid still tried to get on the bike. The bike fell on the kid. She didn’t turn around and check on the bike. She didn’t complain that the kid was going to hurt the bike.

Ummmm. She whined online seeking validation for her own behavior and to make the other mom the feckless baddie

You’re whining now sooooo.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

Umm OP didn’t act victimized. She walked away and the kid still tried to get on the bike. The bike fell on the kid. She didn’t turn around and check on the bike. She didn’t complain that the kid was going to hurt the bike.

Ummmm. She whined online seeking validation for her own behavior and to make the other mom the feckless baddie

You’re whining now sooooo.....

Nope. I genuinely care not. Though they are still both at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

Umm OP didn’t act victimized. She walked away and the kid still tried to get on the bike. The bike fell on the kid. She didn’t turn around and check on the bike. She didn’t complain that the kid was going to hurt the bike.

Ummmm. She whined online seeking validation for her own behavior and to make the other mom the feckless baddie

You’re whining now sooooo.....

Nope. I genuinely care not. Though they are still both at fault.

Hmmm...you say you don’t care and yet here you are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

You're so confused about this. Op expected the other mom to monitor her own 2 year old. She didn't expect anyone to monitor her bike. Are you misreading the post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

You're so confused about this. Op expected the other mom to monitor her own 2 year old. She didn't expect anyone to monitor her bike. Are you misreading the post?

No. It was more of a phrasing thing. Ok. She expects everyone else to work around her property. The mother of the 2 year old was one person who just wasn’t on it. So that I agree with. However she shouldn’t have the bike inside if she is leaving. There may be other people beyond this particular child/parents that are having to walk around or avoid it. I understand where she’s coming from, but she also needs to be responsible for her own stuff. It’s not her personal hallway to park in. If there isn’t a space for bike than she needs to take it home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a child's bike outside a children's activity class is an "attractive nuisance." Find a better arrangement. Since you dropped off your child, leave the bike in your car, or tell her she can't bike to class.

It's just a silly and irresponsible thing to do. A two year old cannot appreciate the risk or consequences of playing on a bike. And she doesn't have the impulse control to make those decisions rationally.

It would be great if her mom stopped her, but your decision making is poor here. Why would you do this?

This is what is wrong with society. No one should bike because you have a two year old??
This comment is stunningly off base.

So true. Perhaps if the other parent wasn't raising an entitled brat, this wouldn't be an issue. I saw a similar situation at a kid's practice. Someone left a scooter. A kid, around 4 decided he wanted to ride it. The mom quickly intervened and distracted the kid. Not one parent blamed the parent of the owner of that scooter for leaving it there.

They thought it though. It’s great the child’s parent intervened, they’re supposed to. But we also need to take responsibility for our things. Bike mom wants to ride along to activity but expects others to monitor her unattended property. It’s not locked up and could easily walk off; anyone, adults included has to navigate around it. Both parents are at fault. Bike mom just posted for her own entitled behavior validation. Yeah, keep your kid off if other people’s stuff, but don’t act victimized if you leave and someone touches it.

You're so confused about this. Op expected the other mom to monitor her own 2 year old. She didn't expect anyone to monitor her bike. Are you misreading the post?

No. It was more of a phrasing thing. Ok. She expects everyone else to work around her property. The mother of the 2 year old was one person who just wasn’t on it. So that I agree with. However she shouldn’t have the bike inside if she is leaving. There may be other people beyond this particular child/parents that are having to walk around or avoid it. I understand where she’s coming from, but she also needs to be responsible for her own stuff. It’s not her personal hallway to park in. If there isn’t a space for bike than she needs to take it home.

DP. I have to agree with this, though I still think the toddler mom was bizarrely checked out. If there’s no bike rack, that means there’s no place to leave your bike, not that you can leave your bike in the hallway. If you leave your bike in a hallway where it’s not meant to be, at that point it’s no different from leaving any other object that could fall and hurt a child. What if OP had left a big top-heavy box in the hallway and then left and expected all the other parents to make sure the box didn’t fall on their children? That’s kind of a jerk thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Lol it really has turned into quite an interesting philosophical divide! I wasn’t worried about the bike getting damaged, it’s built like a tank. Of course I didn’t want it falling on a little 2yo, and if I were there I would have felt bad if she did get hurt because of the bike. But like I said, the part that was the problem for me was that the mom saw nothing wrong with her 2yo not listening when I told her to get off the bike (though it’s possible she wasn’t in earshot) and that she saw nothing wrong with her child trying to ride someone else’s bike. And then after I told her I didn’t want her on the bike, and I left, she let her on the bike. So for me, I guess it was a respect or boundary issue, or lack therof. And honestly I was miffed! And at the same time I felt a little guilty, so wondered if I was in the wrong at all.

But you framed it as "I don't want her on the bike because I don't want her getting hurt," leaving the mother to decide whether she wanted her daughter to have an exercise in natural consequences, which she evidently did.

PS As long as we're discussing "What about" scenarios, I would move the mother's purse out of the way.