Distraught - don't know what to do next

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The first thing you need to do is get a job.


Nope, first thing she needs to do is terminate and the second is get a job - if she is overseas, then she needs to come back to the states. I'm always doubtful of the narrator when we hear only one side of the story, but taking her entirely at face value, yeah, this is a GTFO situation, ASAP - and no bringing more children into it.


He's being extremely remorseful and apologetic. Laying it all down, saying he will get help, we will get help. I just want to crawl under a rock.


im glad he is remorseful. this is a start.


I wouldn't necessarily believe it. I mean, I don't believe it. From my own experience, I'd say he isn't remorseful.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Termination is really painful to think about, but I unfortunately think this is a much better decision than carrying on in this miserable marriage and bringing another child into the mix. Husband owns a rental property in the states - new tenants to move in later this summer - I've asked him to cancel so daughter and I can live somewhere I can work. I hope he will agree.


Yeah, I didn't suggest abortion lightly. I know it will be a difficult thing to do. But yet one more baby would really further anchor you to him.


Don't jump into abortion. You are tied to him no matter what, one kid or two. I had an abortion (while married to father) and do so regret it. And now he does, too.


On the other hand, I had a child in similar circumstances, and although I love my child, I look back with regret at that decision. I brought a child into this world deliberately knowing that child would get far less than he deserved both financially and emotionally. I also seriously underestimated how a second child would negatively impact my career and earning opportunities, leaving me in poverty in terms of income and forcing me to raid retirement and savings to take care of everyone properly.

A woman can regret having an abortion and a woman can regret having a child. Many women have abortion and experience no regrets. Having the child doesn't ensure that you will avoid regret. It is not irresponsible or selfish to consider future prospects for earning power and stability when making the calculation about abortion.



Thank you for posting a different perspective.
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