How do you deal with the humiliation of labor?

[Anonymous]

I felt awkward and embarrassed during delivery. I also think my pushing for DD1 took longer than necessary bc I was scared of pooping on the table.

For DD2 and DS3, I got over the embarrassment a little and had an easier time.

I am also really bad at expressing pain and discomfort to others. When they asked where mypain was and if I wanted an epidural, I wasnt sure how "brave" I needed to be and didnt want to seem weak. Stupid, I know, but its just partof my personality. Again, with #2 and 3, it was a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

I felt a little embarrassment after the birth (scheduled c section ) a couple times. One was when they had to change my pads. I could feel blood gushing out (or that's how it felt) yet the nurse wanted me to stand and pull down my underwear. Dunno why that embarrassed me. Also I had tons of trouble nursing and had to pump a lot. It's a great look being attached to a pump while the nurses, pediatrician, anesthesiologist, instructor and students from the nearby university all coming in and out of the room, having discussions with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt awkward and embarrassed during delivery. I also think my pushing for DD1 took longer than necessary bc I was scared of pooping on the table.

For DD2 and DS3, I got over the embarrassment a little and had an easier time.

I am also really bad at expressing pain and discomfort to others. When they asked where mypain was and if I wanted an epidural, I wasnt sure how "brave" I needed to be and didnt want to seem weak. Stupid, I know, but its just partof my personality. Again, with #2 and 3, it was a lot easier.

My water also broke with #1 at the hospital (I was induced) and I thought I had wet the bed and was embarrassed to tell he nurse or DH. I finally said something to DH about how I couldnt stop peeing and he said "maybe your water broke?" and I was like "Oh... DUH"

[Anonymous]

Love this thread.

I had a complication during birth (everything fine in the end), but at one particular moment there were about 15 people in the room standing around watching me pushing, with two people's hands up me at the same time. I really didn't care, I wouldn't have cared if there were 50 people there watching. I was completely focused on the task at hand, and like other people, felt like a total warrior in the end, so proud of how hard I had worked, and so thrilled with my little baby. You will be the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will not care once it gets under way and the doctors, nurses, residents, med students have seen it so many times, yours is just one more vagina.

And it looks at its most unedifying during delivery.

[Anonymous]

Get hair dye and dye the pubic hairs bright red, then shave it into the shape of a heart. Don't forget glitter sprinkles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get hair dye and dye the pubic hairs bright red, then shave it into the shape of a heart. Don't forget glitter sprinkles

All joking aside, the one issue I did feel a little residual embarrassment about after my first labor was hair/grooming related (not involving glitter). My first had to be induced about 2.5 weeks before my due date which was a total surprise - I was leaking a little fluid - at the time I thought I was just probably leaking a little pee, so when my providers were like "yeah, you're not going home, sweetie" I was pretty unprepared. And at 37 weeks pregnant I had long since let all below-the-waist grooming go to hell (it was November). I had planned on tidying up my legs and bikini area a good bit as my due date approached, but I never expected to be having the baby as early as I did... so anyway, I was a hairy beast for everyone who participated in my laboring and the eventual C-section I ended up having. Of course it's not like I was mortified over it or anything, just something I'd do differently if I had the chance to do over again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hah! I have an immigrant story for you. I come from a very conservative culture. I had not even ever had a pap smear until I married and came to this country.

So, when the labor pain started and I landed up in the hospital I was relieved to see the old fatherly male doctor who was my OB/Gyn. He had already seen me down there and so I would not have to have someone new look at me there. See, I was trying to limit the number of people who had seen my hoohah!

Anyways - the labor starts in earnest. My modesty rapidly flies out of the window in the face of the relentless pain. I was exhausted from the long labor and the pushing was not budging the baby. Suddenly, two men look inside the room. They were EMTs in training and they needed to assist with birth as a requirement for the certification. Would I mind if they came in and witnessed?

By that time, the nurse was pushing back on my leg and shouting..."push, push, push". I looked at the EMTs and yelled " Don't just stand there, Hold my leg back" . So these EMTs are holding my leg back and I am pushing and swearing. I am sure I pooped and peed and bled and what not. Anyways the baby comes out and then I am crying and we took a picture with all of them. I did not care that unknown men had seen this whole thing or that I soiled myself.

Many years later, I am still shy about going to my OB/Gyn. I still skip my pap-smears regularly. However, I have no feeling of embarrassment or humiliation about my experience with childbirth. I felt such an high afterwords like I was the most incredible woman who had accomplished the most awesome thing in the world! Seriously.

You are awesome! I love this story, and congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Labor is empowering, not humiliating. However it works out, however the baby enters the world, you have brought forth life.

[Anonymous]

Ha, I totally relate to the poster who said that after 4 years of infertility, she could cook a dinner with her legs in stirrups. So many different people stuck ultrasound wands in my vagina that by the time I was actually pregnant I had ZERO modesty left when it came to medical professionals. I was a pretty modest person before that, and still am in other ways - I won't even get changed in front of my own mother or sister.

I ended up having an emergency C-section due to fetal distress during labor. At one point there were at least 10-12 people in the L&D room while my OB had his hand in my vagina, and I don't even know how many people were in the OR with me. A bunch it seemed. I literally recall NOTHING about how I was cleaned up or handled after I went to recovery... I know I had a catheter and couldn't get out of bed for 24 hours so I'm sure someone had to clean me, change my pad, etc., but I just don't even recall any of it. Clearly not something I had any feelings about at all!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Labor is empowering, not humiliating. However it works out, however the baby enters the world, you have brought forth life.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Labor is empowering, not humiliating. However it works out, however the baby enters the world, you have brought forth life.

Absolutely this! A thing of awesome wonder and beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Labor is empowering, not humiliating. However it works out, however the baby enters the world, you have brought forth life.

Absolutely this! A thing of awesome wonder and beauty.

You brought back your life a thread from 2014? ??

Why? Im sure Op has figured it out 10+ yrs ago

[Anonymous]

Meh. google

[Anonymous]

Have women stopped having babies or something? It’s relevant, still.