Changing to a shoe-free home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How self-absorbed are you as a guest to not notice if a home is shoe-free or not? We regularly host large parties (dinner, wine, super bowl, really any occasion) and have anywhere from 50-100 people in our home. I have yet to see anyone chafe at removing their shoes, and we don't mind if people need to where shoes for medical reasons. If people are declining invites because of our home being shoe-free, we never hear about it, and frankly if you are that socially unaware we don't want you in our home anyway.

+1

I think it's pretty hilarious that all the pro shoe people are saying it's rude of a host to ask you to take your shoes off, where I think it's rude if you're visiting someone's home not to conform to their rules. It's the equivalent of having a play date and the visiting child wants to eat candy, but you don't give your child candy. Are you going to serve candy to the other child even though it is against your house rules? I'm sure there's a better play date analogy than that, but I bet that a lot of the people arguing about comfort and having to take off their shoes have house rules for their children that visiting kids also have to follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I noticed that too and figured that PP has never even been to Asia! We live in Japan and you take your shoes off in the entry, neatly place them in a designated spot, and wear slippers provided by the host (who keeps a basket of various sizes in the entry). I shudder to think of the giant centipedes, banana spiders, and cockroaches that could take up residence if PP's imaginary Asian scenario were actually true!

Are you saying that guests wear slippers that other guests have worn? I have to admit I would be hesitant to put my feet in slippers that other people have worn, it doesn't seem terribly hygienic.

But it's good hygiene to track all the dog crap, tar, and god-knows-what-else-you-trampled-on-each-day into your home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get being shoe-free for the family. I would be annoyed, though, if I had to take off my shoes at someone's house for a social gathering. The reason is that my shoes are an integral part of my outfit, and without them the length would be wrong, the proportions would be off, and the look overall will be unfinished. I grew up in a country where everyone, EVERYONE took shoes off in people's houses and I'm sorry, no one ever looked elegant in a nice dress clearly made to be worn with heels with stockinged feet or SLIPPERS on. It's a wrong look and there is no way to make it right except to add shoes.

Yeah see, I wouldn't be friends with someone like you, so it's not even an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How self-absorbed are you as a guest to not notice if a home is shoe-free or not? We regularly host large parties (dinner, wine, super bowl, really any occasion) and have anywhere from 50-100 people in our home. I have yet to see anyone chafe at removing their shoes, and we don't mind if people need to where shoes for medical reasons. If people are declining invites because of our home being shoe-free, we never hear about it, and frankly if you are that socially unaware we don't want you in our home anyway.

+1

I think it's pretty hilarious that all the pro shoe people are saying it's rude of a host to ask you to take your shoes off, where I think it's rude if you're visiting someone's home not to conform to their rules. It's the equivalent of having a play date and the visiting child wants to eat candy, but you don't give your child candy. Are you going to serve candy to the other child even though it is against your house rules? I'm sure there's a better play date analogy than that, but I bet that a lot of the people arguing about comfort and having to take off their shoes have house rules for their children that visiting kids also have to follow.

Good point, PP.

My child walks on our couches (i'm sure I'll get flamed for that, but whatever), but I teach her that other homes and different rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How self-absorbed are you as a guest to not notice if a home is shoe-free or not? We regularly host large parties (dinner, wine, super bowl, really any occasion) and have anywhere from 50-100 people in our home. I have yet to see anyone chafe at removing their shoes, and we don't mind if people need to where shoes for medical reasons. If people are declining invites because of our home being shoe-free, we never hear about it, and frankly if you are that socially unaware we don't want you in our home anyway.

Where do you store the 200 stores at the large parties with 100 guests? The aren't going to fit in a box or shoe rack. I'd think you'd need a dedicated shoe room. Or a shoe valet?

[Anonymous]

I'm shoe free at my house. The only time I don't remove my shoes at a guest's home is when I'm wearing tights. I'm not sure what I should do, but chances are high I'd slip and/or snag my tights if I walked around in my tights.

What does DCUM say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shoe free at my house. The only time I don't remove my shoes at a guest's home is when I'm wearing tights. I'm not sure what I should do, but chances are high I'd slip and/or snag my tights if I walked around in my tights.

What does DCUM say?

plan ahead. bring slippers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 100% shoe free, that goes for all guests and all repair people. For guests I let them know beforehand that we are shoe free and ask them to bring whatever they need to feel comfortable (socks, etc.) I do dislike it when I go to someone's house and they demand I take my shoes off and didn't tell me beforehand. I feel that letting all guests know beforehand solves the inhospitality issue.

What I would feel comfortable in would be.........shoes! I just do not care for padding about someone else's house in nothing but socks on. In addition, I am one of those women with plantar fasciitis caused by pregnancy, so going without shoes goes completely against my doctor's advice.

It's fine to ask children to remove shoes, but it just inhospitable to ask adults without obviously mud encrusted shoes to do the same.

I agree with this. This seems to be a split between those who think that hospitality is about making your guests comfortable and those who think it is about having their guests conform to all their rules. I would never argue that people who come to your house for dinner should ignore all the household norms or violate your rules for your kids (e.g. candy, as a PP mentioned), but for heaven's sake you and your children are around things that have been on the ground all day long, whether you want to think about it or not. I would never ask a guest to remove an article of clothing just to be in my house. If I don't give my kids candy, I might cringe if they give their kids candy in my house, but I wouldn't tell them not to do it. My kid would just be under different rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 100% shoe free, that goes for all guests and all repair people. For guests I let them know beforehand that we are shoe free and ask them to bring whatever they need to feel comfortable (socks, etc.) I do dislike it when I go to someone's house and they demand I take my shoes off and didn't tell me beforehand. I feel that letting all guests know beforehand solves the inhospitality issue.

What I would feel comfortable in would be.........shoes! I just do not care for padding about someone else's house in nothing but socks on. In addition, I am one of those women with plantar fasciitis caused by pregnancy, so going without shoes goes completely against my doctor's advice.

It's fine to ask children to remove shoes, but it just inhospitable to ask adults without obviously mud encrusted shoes to do the same.

I agree with this. This seems to be a split between those who think that hospitality is about making your guests comfortable and those who think it is about having their guests conform to all their rules. I would never argue that people who come to your house for dinner should ignore all the household norms or violate your rules for your kids (e.g. candy, as a PP mentioned), but for heaven's sake you and your children are around things that have been on the ground all day long, whether you want to think about it or not. I would never ask a guest to remove an article of clothing just to be in my house. If I don't give my kids candy, I might cringe if they give their kids candy in my house, but I wouldn't tell them not to do it. My kid would just be under different rules.

This is probably fundamental issue here: you view shoes as an article of clothing like your pants; I view shoes as outerwear, like my coat and it would be weird to leave my coat on in my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 100% shoe free, that goes for all guests and all repair people. For guests I let them know beforehand that we are shoe free and ask them to bring whatever they need to feel comfortable (socks, etc.) I do dislike it when I go to someone's house and they demand I take my shoes off and didn't tell me beforehand. I feel that letting all guests know beforehand solves the inhospitality issue.

What I would feel comfortable in would be.........shoes! I just do not care for padding about someone else's house in nothing but socks on. In addition, I am one of those women with plantar fasciitis caused by pregnancy, so going without shoes goes completely against my doctor's advice.

It's fine to ask children to remove shoes, but it just inhospitable to ask adults without obviously mud encrusted shoes to do the same.

I agree with this. This seems to be a split between those who think that hospitality is about making your guests comfortable and those who think it is about having their guests conform to all their rules. I would never argue that people who come to your house for dinner should ignore all the household norms or violate your rules for your kids (e.g. candy, as a PP mentioned), but for heaven's sake you and your children are around things that have been on the ground all day long, whether you want to think about it or not. I would never ask a guest to remove an article of clothing just to be in my house. If I don't give my kids candy, I might cringe if they give their kids candy in my house, but I wouldn't tell them not to do it. My kid would just be under different rules.

This is probably fundamental issue here: you view shoes as an article of clothing like your pants; I view shoes as outerwear, like my coat and it would be weird to leave my coat on in my house.

Maybe so, but if a guest wanted to wear a coat in my house I wouldn't ask them to remove it. It's about making your guests comfortable and feeling welcome.

[Anonymous]

No one else has issues with people's stinky, sweaty feet spreading microbes in your home? Or making people feel self-conscious if they have stinky feet? Some shoes just make your feet stink no matter how clean you are. I wouldn't want to take those off in someone's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get being shoe-free for the family. I would be annoyed, though, if I had to take off my shoes at someone's house for a social gathering. The reason is that my shoes are an integral part of my outfit, and without them the length would be wrong, the proportions would be off, and the look overall will be unfinished. I grew up in a country where everyone, EVERYONE took shoes off in people's houses and I'm sorry, no one ever looked elegant in a nice dress clearly made to be worn with heels with stockinged feet or SLIPPERS on. It's a wrong look and there is no way to make it right except to add shoes.

Yeah see, I wouldn't be friends with someone like you, so it's not even an issue.

There's no need to be rude, I'm just explaining why it makes me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 100% shoe free, that goes for all guests and all repair people. For guests I let them know beforehand that we are shoe free and ask them to bring whatever they need to feel comfortable (socks, etc.) I do dislike it when I go to someone's house and they demand I take my shoes off and didn't tell me beforehand. I feel that letting all guests know beforehand solves the inhospitality issue.

What I would feel comfortable in would be.........shoes! I just do not care for padding about someone else's house in nothing but socks on. In addition, I am one of those women with plantar fasciitis caused by pregnancy, so going without shoes goes completely against my doctor's advice.

It's fine to ask children to remove shoes, but it just inhospitable to ask adults without obviously mud encrusted shoes to do the same.

I agree with this. This seems to be a split between those who think that hospitality is about making your guests comfortable and those who think it is about having their guests conform to all their rules. I would never argue that people who come to your house for dinner should ignore all the household norms or violate your rules for your kids (e.g. candy, as a PP mentioned), but for heaven's sake you and your children are around things that have been on the ground all day long, whether you want to think about it or not. I would never ask a guest to remove an article of clothing just to be in my house. If I don't give my kids candy, I might cringe if they give their kids candy in my house, but I wouldn't tell them not to do it. My kid would just be under different rules.

This is probably fundamental issue here: you view shoes as an article of clothing like your pants; I view shoes as outerwear, like my coat and it would be weird to leave my coat on in my house.

Maybe so, but if a guest wanted to wear a coat in my house I wouldn't ask them to remove it. It's about making your guests comfortable and feeling welcome.

I'm not tracking in dirt and dog poo in my coat.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, I was sure this would be the time the shoeless vs shoes issue got resolved.

I'll check back in another 10 pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get being shoe-free for the family. I would be annoyed, though, if I had to take off my shoes at someone's house for a social gathering. The reason is that my shoes are an integral part of my outfit, and without them the length would be wrong, the proportions would be off, and the look overall will be unfinished. I grew up in a country where everyone, EVERYONE took shoes off in people's houses and I'm sorry, no one ever looked elegant in a nice dress clearly made to be worn with heels with stockinged feet or SLIPPERS on. It's a wrong look and there is no way to make it right except to add shoes.

Yeah see, I wouldn't be friends with someone like you, so it's not even an issue.

There's no need to be rude, I'm just explaining why it makes me uncomfortable.

Sorry but you sound like a pretentious a-hole.