Why do you care what I decide to do to my son's penis when he is born?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do I care? I care because it is an inhumane practice to do this routinely to newborn boys.

Do I raise it with you? No. But if it comes up, I will not sugarcoat my dismay.

How do I know? Like others have said, when you've had kids you'll realize that at some point you see pretty much all your friends changing diapers in front of you or helping with potty training. Other times, people mention it.

What happens then? I will notice your son's stubby scarred penis and I will flinch. I will try not to do this noticeably for your sake because, what's done is done, and for all I know you may now be better informed and regret it (like my in-laws). But I will feel sympathy for your child, just as I would if you mistreated him in another way.

I will think less of you. I will wonder how you came to that decision, as an educated, smart woman, who I obviously share some values with or we wouldn't be friends. I will feel a little sorry for you too. Because you are either willfully ignorant and have followed what you perceive to be the fashion and had cosmetic surgery on your newborn boy, or you are delusional and have believed the very scant and disputed evidence on the topic without having done any full research into the cultural basis of this.

And then, I feel thankful that I wasn't railroaded into doing this, by a husband, by a doctor, by in-laws or by society. I feel thankful that my boys each have their whole penis and that neither of them will feel bad about this as they get older. I feel bad that at some point, be it 5 or 10, 15 or 20 years from now, when this waning practice is widely believed as archaic you will realize that you made the wrong decision, that you were on the wrong side of this issue and that you will regret it.

You need help!! Stop looking in little babies diapers! Ewww!

Hm. It's not very easy not to look into a baby's diaper while you change it. You need to wipe him clean, for example. Do you suggest that people do this blindfolded? When you have children you'll realize that often you will end up helping friends and changing their kids diapers or taking them to go potty as they are older or making their baby smile or handing them a toy while they change them. And many kids go through a stage where it's hard to keep clothes on them.

That is what every pervert says to justify why they are looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do I care? I care because it is an inhumane practice to do this routinely to newborn boys.

Do I raise it with you? No. But if it comes up, I will not sugarcoat my dismay.

How do I know? Like others have said, when you've had kids you'll realize that at some point you see pretty much all your friends changing diapers in front of you or helping with potty training. Other times, people mention it.

What happens then? I will notice your son's stubby scarred penis and I will flinch. I will try not to do this noticeably for your sake because, what's done is done, and for all I know you may now be better informed and regret it (like my in-laws). But I will feel sympathy for your child, just as I would if you mistreated him in another way.

I will think less of you. I will wonder how you came to that decision, as an educated, smart woman, who I obviously share some values with or we wouldn't be friends. I will feel a little sorry for you too. Because you are either willfully ignorant and have followed what you perceive to be the fashion and had cosmetic surgery on your newborn boy, or you are delusional and have believed the very scant and disputed evidence on the topic without having done any full research into the cultural basis of this.

And then, I feel thankful that I wasn't railroaded into doing this, by a husband, by a doctor, by in-laws or by society. I feel thankful that my boys each have their whole penis and that neither of them will feel bad about this as they get older. I feel bad that at some point, be it 5 or 10, 15 or 20 years from now, when this waning practice is widely believed as archaic you will realize that you made the wrong decision, that you were on the wrong side of this issue and that you will regret it.

You need help!! Stop looking in little babies diapers! Ewww!

Hm. It's not very easy not to look into a baby's diaper while you change it. You need to wipe him clean, for example. Do you suggest that people do this blindfolded? When you have children you'll realize that often you will end up helping friends and changing their kids diapers or taking them to go potty as they are older or making their baby smile or handing them a toy while they change them. And many kids go through a stage where it's hard to keep clothes on them.

That is what every pervert says to justify why they are looking.

No, it's not. You are clearly unbalanced.

- mom of daughter who does not care whether or why your son is circumcised

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The marginal medical benefits, if there are any, do not warrant child mutilation. As for religion, God also said to stone adulterers but I do not see much of that going on in North America.

yes, it is a shame that Jews and their culture/faith weren't just finished off, huh? Then this wouldn't even be an issue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The marginal medical benefits, if there are any, do not warrant child mutilation. As for religion, God also said to stone adulterers but I do not see much of that going on in North America.

yes, it is a shame that Jews and their culture/faith weren't just finished off, huh? Then this wouldn't even be an issue!

You misunderstood me and are way too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

I would not let someone as judgmental and clearly in need of therapy change my son's diapers. Just would not do it. We don't have a lot of judgmental psychos in our boys diapers. Just sayin'

[Anonymous]

This thread started out hostile (subject line is confrontational, even). It has since invoked the following things that are unrelated to a medical decision made by new parents:

child abuse
whether or not to vaccinate
whether people who do not vaccinate are crazy
child sexual abuse
Antisemitism as the reason people do not vaccinate

Even for the usual standards of crazy that this topic and this board demonstrate, that's pretty impressive.

[Anonymous]

I have an older child. I have never participated in changing the diapers of nor potty training the children of people I was not related to. When changing my child, I did it to give my child the privacy they deserved and I never looked at another naked child on purpose. Who are all these perverted people looking at other people's children and looking long enough to form an opinion on their genitalia? I think less of those people.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not - I think ignoring someone else's religious preferences (to some, obligation...to other's a preference) is pretty ignorant. What makes this country so great is that I am free to have as Jewish a family as I want.

There are laws in a democratic society, and there are religious rules that you, as a non Jew (or even a Jew who wants to ignore them...one of the joys of being a modern Jew!) are free to forego. It would obviously be different if the Jewish government were forcing something on your child, but generally we don't care what you do - which is why no one has ever tried to outlaw your summer crab festivals or your bacon candy.

This is why so many communities prefer to self ghetto-ize. If you don't want your child to follow Jewish rituals, don't do it - if you want to circumcise your child in a hospital, go for it...if you want to let your son decide when he's 18, go for it. No one really cares what you do in your own home. I really, truly don't understand, especially when it comes to other people's faith.

It's on par with the previous thread's "sex in a sheet" comment - I think people just wish Jews wouldn't practice some of their "creepy' traditions because (by choice, because not all do), after all, isn't it just so much easier to be a WASP or better yet, an evangelical, in today's America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an older child. I have never participated in changing the diapers of nor potty training the children of people I was not related to. When changing my child, I did it to give my child the privacy they deserved and I never looked at another naked child on purpose. Who are all these perverted people looking at other people's children and looking long enough to form an opinion on their genitalia? I think less of those people.

Ding! And if all you're getting out of helping someone out by changing a diaper is the presence of lack of foreskin, you paid WAY too much attention to a child's genitals. How do YOU know the baby wasn't born without foreskin or had a medical reason for needing one? I'm sure you're all just judging because it's fun, and it makes you feel like a better parent...and without "one upping" one another, how could we possibly be parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an older child. I have never participated in changing the diapers of nor potty training the children of people I was not related to. When changing my child, I did it to give my child the privacy they deserved and I never looked at another naked child on purpose. Who are all these perverted people looking at other people's children and looking long enough to form an opinion on their genitalia? I think less of those people.

That's fine, for you. But there are many people, myself included, who participate in some kind of baby-sitting swap that may at some point involving changing the diaper of someone else's child. I have changed the diapers of boy children that are not mine in that context, and yes, I have noticed if they are circumcised or not, in the same way I've noticed any other physical characteristic about that child. I'm not going out of my way to stare at the genitalia of someone else's child, but what you're saying is that in that situation, you would think less of me for changing a diaper? Should I allow my friend's son to sit in a poopy diaper until they get back from date night just so that you won't think less of me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The marginal medical benefits, if there are any, do not warrant child mutilation. As for religion, God also said to stone adulterers but I do not see much of that going on in North America.

yes, it is a shame that Jews and their culture/faith weren't just finished off, huh? Then this wouldn't even be an issue!

Increasingly Jews aren't circumcising. There was a thread on that here a couple of months ago. I suggest you look at it before trying to make this an anti-semetic issue which it IS NOT.

[Anonymous]

...I wouldn't babysitter swap with people who are clearly judgmental. I hope you'd have the balls to say it to my face that I "mutilated" my child if he were to be circumised so that I'd know ahead of time to not get involved in a swap with you.
i'd rather share responsibilities with people who share my parenting belief of 'live and let live'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an older child. I have never participated in changing the diapers of nor potty training the children of people I was not related to. When changing my child, I did it to give my child the privacy they deserved and I never looked at another naked child on purpose. Who are all these perverted people looking at other people's children and looking long enough to form an opinion on their genitalia? I think less of those people.

That's fine, for you. But there are many people, myself included, who participate in some kind of baby-sitting swap that may at some point involving changing the diaper of someone else's child. I have changed the diapers of boy children that are not mine in that context, and yes, I have noticed if they are circumcised or not, in the same way I've noticed any other physical characteristic about that child. I'm not going out of my way to stare at the genitalia of someone else's child, but what you're saying is that in that situation, you would think less of me for changing a diaper? Should I allow my friend's son to sit in a poopy diaper until they get back from date night just so that you won't think less of me?

Me too. It's not something that I comment on (to you or the kid), or that I think about in any detail. But you can't help noticing when you change another kids diaper and yes, I do feel a sense of mild disappointment in you and somewhat sorry for your child. I don't discuss it with you, or raise it with you, or argue with you about it. What's done is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Increasingly Jews aren't circumcising. There was a thread on that here a couple of months ago. I suggest you look at it before trying to make this an anti-semetic issue which it IS NOT.

and good for them, but there still are many (most) that do (and there are many more mixed couples, especially around here). I think there is a large undercurrent of anti-semitism in this whole discussion on DCUM. I personally don't care what you do, and I wish the same respect would be given to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...I wouldn't babysitter swap with people who are clearly judgmental. I hope you'd have the balls to say it to my face that I "mutilated" my child if he were to be circumised so that I'd know ahead of time to not get involved in a swap with you.
i'd rather share responsibilities with people who share my parenting belief of 'live and let live'.

I wish you'd take that live and let live approach to your child and stop messing with his body.