How to handle insults of my kid’s college choice?

[Anonymous]

I am getting the same heat because my kid is going to school in Florida (it is her first choice, she is very excited). Parents (both men and women) have said very rude comments to me over the last few months since the ED came out. And one of these people are even moving to Florida after their own kid graduates "for tax reasons". Make it make sense?

It definitely gets under my skin but I don't let it show. I just stand there, stare back at them, and say "do you have anything else rude to say?" And they usually get embarrassed. I won't see these people again after June so I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a mom, who I’ve only talked to twice before this incident last weekend, tell me the two students she knows who went to my DCs school “transferred out after a year for various reasons” after asking where mine was attending.

I went home and unfriended this mom on social, who added me to begin with by the by and went on with my day.

These happiness-drains of human beings are not worth space in our lives.

When people on DCUM get snooty about schools and/or majors after parents excitedly post about their kids future paths, I say the same thing to myself.

Some people are just miserable fukks. Can’t be helped, can’t change them. Best to pity or ignore them.

Haha, you're so thin-skinned! People transfer out from all sorts of places and it isn't a slur against the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

No WTH is wrong with you?

Sending a kid to Texas in this political climate is stupidity and terrible parenting.

You think your kid will get a job in four years in a state run by Paxton and Abbott ??

Texas is absolutely booming…

It is simply amazing what politics does to some peoples’ brains.

+1
Some people are so dumb. Most large cities there are purple.

So? Still a red state for all intents and purposes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this site, there is a lot of bias against schools outside the northeast. I'm guessing this is coming from people who have no idea what a big and diverse country this is. And they don't travel much.

But UT-Austin is a great school, and a very difficult admit for students. Same with Duke, Rice, Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Emory, UVA, UNC-Chapel Hill and several others. And none of these schools are bastions of MAGA. Nor are the surrounding communities. Austin, Nashville, Houston, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Raleigh-Durham and so on are all extremely blue.

If you want to be surrounded by MAGA, go to a rural school in New England, the Midwest, or upstate New York. And anywhere in Pennsylvania. That's where you will find your MAGA people. Not some city in the South. And definitely not Austin.

And progressive, liberal and moderate students who actually care about keeping America free should go to the blue bubbles in light red states and try to turn the states purple, or even blue.

Staying in blue states is cowardly and self-defeating.

When will you be leaving for Oklahoma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

Crazy? No.

When the Trump administration came calling with a political loyalty oath disguised as a partnership, the leadership of the University of Texas System did not hesitate. Instead of defending academic freedom, UT System Board of Regents Chairman Kevin Eltife declared they were “honored” to be chosen and looked forward to working with the administration. 

This gleeful capitulation was the public consummation of a years-long political project to capture the University of Texas at Austin. The "Compact for Academic Excellence in Higher Education" is not a blueprint for improvement but a political manifesto designed to impose ideological conformity. It is a devil’s bargain, trading the university's soul, it's independence and commitment to free inquiry, for the vague promise of federal favor from an administration with a history of coercion and broken promises. The leadership at UT are not victims; they are willing accomplices in the dismantling of a great public university.  

The Compact is an ideological Trojan horse. It demands the power to eliminate entire academic departments under the pretext that they are hostile to “conservative ideas.” It bans diversity initiatives, federally codifying the state’s anti-DEI law, SB 17, which has already led to staff layoffs. It imposes a crippling five year tuition freeze and a cap on international students, limiting the university’s financial autonomy and global reach. And most chillingly, it will be enforced by the U.S. Department of Justice, transforming the university into a quasi-state agency under the intimidating oversight of federal law enforcement. 

This is not an offer of new money; it is a threat to take away existing funds. The administration has already slashed billions from universities like Harvard and Columbia as punishment for non-compliance. The promise of “substantial and meaningful federal grants” is an empty one, echoing the predatory scheme of Trump University, which collapsed under lawsuits alleging fraud. An independent analysis found that over half of President Trump's first term promises were broken. UT’s leadership has staked the university’s autonomy on the word of a grifter.  

UT’s swift surrender was the predictable outcome of a successful campaign by Texas’s ruling political establishment to seize control of its flagship university. A direct line of influence runs from Governor Greg Abbott to UT System Chairman Kevin Eltife and down to the President’s Office.

President Jim Davis is not an academic leader but a political functionary, the first UT president in over a century without an academic background. His resume is defined by his service to the state’s conservative legal machine, including as a deputy under Attorney General Ken Paxton. His appointment, overseen by Eltife, was a political coronation, not a national search for the best leader. 

This political capture was enabled by a legislative siege. Senate Bill 17, the anti-DEI crusade, created a “chilling effect” on campus, leading administrators to censor academic lectures out of fear. It was followed by Senate Bill 37, which gutted faculty governance by allowing administrators to appoint senate leaders and remove members for vague offenses. President Davis enthusiastically embraced this law, which disarmed the faculty just months before the Compact arrived, ensuring no powerful institutional voice was left to object. 

The result is a campus in the grip of a severe chilling effect. A recent study by the American Association of University Professors found that more than half of Texas faculty are either applying for jobs out of state or intend to soon. More than 60% would not recommend Texas to colleagues, citing the oppressive political climate. Another study found that over half of UT Austin faculty self censor for fear of how students or administrators might respond. One professor described the atmosphere as “cult-like and fascistic.” This is not fostering a marketplace of ideas; it is fueling a brain drain that will degrade the university’s excellence.  

The traditional channels of governance have been captured. The responsibility to protect the soul of the institution now falls to the faculty, staff, and students. The time for quiet dissent is over. The moment calls for loud, visible, and uncompromising resistance.

[Anonymous]

^
Tl/dr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this site, there is a lot of bias against schools outside the northeast. I'm guessing this is coming from people who have no idea what a big and diverse country this is. And they don't travel much.

But UT-Austin is a great school, and a very difficult admit for students. Same with Duke, Rice, Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Emory, UVA, UNC-Chapel Hill and several others. And none of these schools are bastions of MAGA. Nor are the surrounding communities. Austin, Nashville, Houston, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Raleigh-Durham and so on are all extremely blue.

If you want to be surrounded by MAGA, go to a rural school in New England, the Midwest, or upstate New York. And anywhere in Pennsylvania. That's where you will find your MAGA people. Not some city in the South. And definitely not Austin.

And progressive, liberal and moderate students who actually care about keeping America free should go to the blue bubbles in light red states and try to turn the states purple, or even blue.

Staying in blue states is cowardly and self-defeating.

When will you be leaving for Oklahoma?

DP.

Moved from DMV to FL for career. Kids will have full free rides to UF if they choose to go there.

Multiple state and national EC awards for kid #1.

And a far more diverse peer group than they’d ever have found in the DMV.

Meanwhile, we’re organizing and voting blue.

Good for our kids, good for our country.

Cherry on top: we’ll be swimming in the Gulf (of Mexico!) this afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

Based on your post, the friend didn't insult your son's college choice. He didn't say anything bad about UT. The comments appear to be based on the political climate. That's very, very different that insulting someone's school choice.

Lots of kids (and their parents) would have those same thoughts, though most would be polite enough to keep them to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread similar to this a few months ago about a kid who said "the only reason you got in is you are a legacy."

Some people have zero class. If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing. The kid could have turned down a full ride to Harvard for Podunk State and to their face you should still act happy for them unless perhaps you have a very close relationship, which doesn't seem to be the case here.

It is like if you go to someone's home for a meal and it tastes disgusting - you still act gracious and try to eat as much as you can. This is Life 101.

Where is this kid going to school? Seems like a place I would want to avoid.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

That is not even remotely similar. Good God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this site, there is a lot of bias against schools outside the northeast. I'm guessing this is coming from people who have no idea what a big and diverse country this is. And they don't travel much.

But UT-Austin is a great school, and a very difficult admit for students. Same with Duke, Rice, Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech, Emory, UVA, UNC-Chapel Hill and several others. And none of these schools are bastions of MAGA. Nor are the surrounding communities. Austin, Nashville, Houston, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Raleigh-Durham and so on are all extremely blue.

If you want to be surrounded by MAGA, go to a rural school in New England, the Midwest, or upstate New York. And anywhere in Pennsylvania. That's where you will find your MAGA people. Not some city in the South. And definitely not Austin.

And progressive, liberal and moderate students who actually care about keeping America free should go to the blue bubbles in light red states and try to turn the states purple, or even blue.

Staying in blue states is cowardly and self-defeating.

These states are gerrymandered to hell back, so having more liberals in Austin won't affect things.

Unbelievable. I would like to introduce you to the United States Senate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

A long quiet pause followed by, “hmm, I don’t recall asking for your opinion.” Followed by more silence. Nothing more needed,

[Anonymous]

Your kid is old enough to “handle” this on their own; it’s weird you feel you have to crowd source a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

Based on your post, the friend didn't insult your son's college choice. He didn't say anything bad about UT. The comments appear to be based on the political climate. That's very, very different that insulting someone's school choice.

Lots of kids (and their parents) would have those same thoughts, though most would be polite enough to keep them to themselves.

Comments based on the political climate?

Yeah, that’s dumb but true. People like their narrow-mindedness. Leave them to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is old enough to “handle” this on their own; it’s weird you feel you have to crowd source a response.

+1
Your son should be able to deal with his friend's comment. Did it even bother him that much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was lucky to be going to one of his top choices of college (UT Austin). He’s a normal high stats kid with decent ECs, so we’re realistic about his chance for the T30. While his pipe dream school is my alma mater, UT Austin is his realistic dream school. We also like the area a lot. Unfortunately last week a classmate of his (they’re friends for some time, but have sort of drifted apart) gave him a lecture on why he would choose a college in Texas and went on to insult all Texans. I was like, WTF?! How to deal with crazy people like that?

Based on your post, the friend didn't insult your son's college choice. He didn't say anything bad about UT. The comments appear to be based on the political climate. That's very, very different that insulting someone's school choice.

Lots of kids (and their parents) would have those same thoughts, though most would be polite enough to keep them to themselves.

Exactly, and maybe it's just joking between friends, I wouldn't take it seriously.
I also told my kids don't go to South for colleges, I know vast majority colleges are full of liberals, but just don't want to deal the environment outside college.