Dating scene at state schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all know way more about your kid’s hook up habits than I ever will! (And I have both daughters and sons do not a gender thing).

They would die before discussing this with me. The most I info ever get is whether they went to the formal with a date or not.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

What a shame - times have sure changed since the 80’s and 90’s!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you would be happier with a religious school for your daughter OP. At BYU 25% of the students are married. But she’d have to convert.

Utah girls are smoke shows

Dc girls might not be ready for that competition

Dc girls that look like Utah girls have tons of guys after them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go north grasshopper

lol.

[Anonymous]

Can she study abroad?

[Anonymous]

I guess two things, sort of contradictory -

1) There are fewer quality guys now (see all the recent stories about this), so those who are getting girls can treat them like crap and just be about hook up culture. Maybe a traditional religious school where most people are looking for spouses could be different? Not sure, as I have no experience.

2) I’m old, but my relationship with my DH started up as a hook up after a college party. That was 30 years ago. We were doing that for a good while before it turned to more. So, just because something starts one way doesn’t mean that’s all it can ever be.

[Anonymous]

its easier to meet people at the smaller schools because your classes are much smaller

This makes no sense to me. I'm a friendly person. I'd rather have lots of people to meet. I can make better friends when I have more or a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m more concerned. she’s ok for now. It’s not about having a boyfriend per se, but seemingly lack of quality guys period. Just more hookup and party. I would have loved ot see her a private school but he likely wouldn’t have gotten in in this landscape and only wanted warm.

Private schools really aren’t different when it comes to dating. Plenty of hookups there and carryover long term relationships. College in general is a big hookup culture, regardless of which college or location, especially freshman year.

+1
Private vs public has zero to do with the college dating scene.

Except its easier to meet people
at the smaller schools because your classes are much smaller. My state school freshman is in lectures of 100-500 kids. Her NESAC friends are in lectures of 20. They have met guys with far more ease and have been asked out although I wonder if the pool will quickly seem shallow.

My state school kids have only had classes of about 100 in a few freshmen seminars. All the other classes are much smaller.

As someone who attended a NESAC, I can attest that yes, that small pool will definitely start to seem shallow.

100 people is not a seminar, it is a lecture

[Anonymous]

Are any state schools NOT big party schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you would be happier with a religious school for your daughter OP. At BYU 25% of the students are married. But she’d have to convert.

Utah girls are smoke shows

Dc girls might not be ready for that competition

Dc girls that look like Utah girls have tons of guys after them

Foyine girls guy, is that you? Wherever college dating is discussed there you are.

Aren't you married to a sorority dime!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess two things, sort of contradictory -

1) There are fewer quality guys now (see all the recent stories about this), so those who are getting girls can treat them like crap and just be about hook up culture. Maybe a traditional religious school where most people are looking for spouses could be different? Not sure, as I have no experience.

2) I’m old, but my relationship with my DH started up as a hook up after a college party. That was 30 years ago. We were doing that for a good while before it turned to more. So, just because something starts one way doesn’t mean that’s all it can ever be.

NP. I believe a lot of relationships start as friendships. So if girls make a lot of guy friends, there should be candidates among them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

its easier to meet people at the smaller schools because your classes are much smaller

This makes no sense to me. I'm a friendly person. I'd rather have lots of people to meet. I can make better friends when I have more or a choice.

Yep. And once you've met all the available people at a small college, and found no one you click with - then what? Ask me how I know! I so regret not going to a large school.

[Anonymous]

Ivies have dating not just hookups, but not always right away. It seems more common as juniors and senior for ongoing dating. Coed friend groups are common for studying, psets, etc but usually are friend zone for most. Most on both sides seem nervous to express interest in dating, thus it does not happen easily especially freshman year. Plus the Q of hetero or no can be hard to decipher. The super bright kids that make up the majority of ivy students often were not on average as experienced with dating in high school compared to average or even above average college kids. Covid made that worse(current juniors and seniors most affected).

[Anonymous]

The idea that there is no one to date at a school with tens of thousands of people is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are any state schools NOT big party schools?

Oh, please. Even your tiny SLACs are going to be party schools. Get over it.