Fiance made a troubling comment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

What is even the point of marriage if you have a kid with him already? That’s WAY bigger than marriage or real estate or anything. I have to say, I question the brains of women who have children with men outside of marriage but who feel like marriage is still a goal. It’s bonkers.

We do not have children together.

You should keep it that way. He sounds like a misogynist. Most men are, after all, but they get all defensive when you point out their hateful views and they complain that they are just “logical” or whatever stupid thing.

We are. We both agree that we do not want any more children. His two children are 19 and 28. Mine are 12 and 14.

So based on that, and average ages of first birth for men and women, you are at least 15-20 years apart. Of course he's right thinking you are a gold digger. And jokes about.
Did you try dating men your age?

We are 12 years apart. I'm 42 and he's 54. I personally don't think that's too large of an age gap but everyone has their own opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

What is even the point of marriage if you have a kid with him already? That’s WAY bigger than marriage or real estate or anything. I have to say, I question the brains of women who have children with men outside of marriage but who feel like marriage is still a goal. It’s bonkers.

We do not have children together.

You should keep it that way. He sounds like a misogynist. Most men are, after all, but they get all defensive when you point out their hateful views and they complain that they are just “logical” or whatever stupid thing.

We are. We both agree that we do not want any more children. His two children are 19 and 28. Mine are 12 and 14.

So based on that, and average ages of first birth for men and women, you are at least 15-20 years apart. Of course he's right thinking you are a gold digger. And jokes about.
Did you try dating men your age?

We are 12 years apart. I'm 42 and he's 54. I personally don't think that's too large of an age gap but everyone has their own opinion.

Have you tried dating 42 yo men who also earn 100k like you, and can’t afford joint international vacations, condos etc? Or it just a coincidence you are dating a significantly older than who makes 3 times more ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be offended, but facts are facts.

And the fact that he is buying property with and engaged to a woman he sees as "less valuable" tells us just how little value he has.

If OP is the best he can get, she is very valuable to him. But he is too dumb to know that you don't say things like that to people who are valuable to you.

She is valuable to him to the exact value of cash differential in that condo that he paid to get access to much younger body. It's a fair exchange in his eyes. But she has no value to him as a future wife because he understands it

Nah. He is dumb. He put his "fair exchange" at risk. OP is a fool if she stays with him after this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

What is even the point of marriage if you have a kid with him already? That’s WAY bigger than marriage or real estate or anything. I have to say, I question the brains of women who have children with men outside of marriage but who feel like marriage is still a goal. It’s bonkers.

We do not have children together.

You should keep it that way. He sounds like a misogynist. Most men are, after all, but they get all defensive when you point out their hateful views and they complain that they are just “logical” or whatever stupid thing.

We are. We both agree that we do not want any more children. His two children are 19 and 28. Mine are 12 and 14.

So based on that, and average ages of first birth for men and women, you are at least 15-20 years apart. Of course he's right thinking you are a gold digger. And jokes about.
Did you try dating men your age?

We are 12 years apart. I'm 42 and he's 54. I personally don't think that's too large of an age gap but everyone has their own opinion.

Now you know he is an insecure POS who thinks he only got you because your value is reduced because you are a single mom. What now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

What is even the point of marriage if you have a kid with him already? That’s WAY bigger than marriage or real estate or anything. I have to say, I question the brains of women who have children with men outside of marriage but who feel like marriage is still a goal. It’s bonkers.

We do not have children together.

You should keep it that way. He sounds like a misogynist. Most men are, after all, but they get all defensive when you point out their hateful views and they complain that they are just “logical” or whatever stupid thing.

We are. We both agree that we do not want any more children. His two children are 19 and 28. Mine are 12 and 14.

So based on that, and average ages of first birth for men and women, you are at least 15-20 years apart. Of course he's right thinking you are a gold digger. And jokes about.
Did you try dating men your age?

We are 12 years apart. I'm 42 and he's 54. I personally don't think that's too large of an age gap but everyone has their own opinion.

Have you tried dating 42 yo men who also earn 100k like you, and can’t afford joint international vacations, condos etc? Or it just a coincidence you are dating a significantly older than who makes 3 times more ?

I've previously dated men around my age. My children's father is one year old than I am.

This is the first "older man" that I've dated and to me 12 years difference once you get to be middle aged is not that big of a difference.

I'm not sure why you think he makes 3 x times more. I make $100k and he makes $230k. That's not 3 xs more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be offended, but facts are facts.

And the fact that he is buying property with and engaged to a woman he sees as "less valuable" tells us just how little value he has.

If OP is the best he can get, she is very valuable to him. But he is too dumb to know that you don't say things like that to people who are valuable to you.

She is valuable to him to the exact value of cash differential in that condo that he paid to get access to much younger body. It's a fair exchange in his eyes. But she has no value to him as a future wife because he understands it

Nah. He is dumb. He put his "fair exchange" at risk. OP is a fool if she stays with him after this.

He wouldn’t be telling this crap to OP if he didn’t have a new “purchase” on the horizon.
Walking calculators are always bargain hunting. OP better dumps him now first.

[Anonymous]

You've been engaged for over 3 years?

Generally after you get engaged you get married in 6-9 months.

He is stringing you along and in his world you have less value as you are single with 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

What is even the point of marriage if you have a kid with him already? That’s WAY bigger than marriage or real estate or anything. I have to say, I question the brains of women who have children with men outside of marriage but who feel like marriage is still a goal. It’s bonkers.

We do not have children together.

No, you have children with a previous loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should walk away from any man who denigrates mothers, female leaders, or older women. It’s blatant hatred for women. Why would you tolerate that? It will only manifest as more aggressive disrespectful behavior down the line. Date men who love women. And if you can’t find a man who loves and respects women just don’t date at all. You will be fine. Life is too short to deal with this crap.

maybe you should go tend to your cats

Living with cats is much better than being talked down to, cheated on, beaten, career hated on, or picking up after a grown adult. And that’s why so many women choose it.

[Anonymous]

What he said is sadly true but also hurtful considering you are also a single unmarried mom.

I say focus on your self, kids and career, not on men who will give sperms, rings and condos but not love and honor you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you buy overseas?
Are you both US citizens or is one from that place? Family there?
An intent to marry at the time of engagement. Ok.
This engagement will last a loooong time.

We are both US citizens and have no connection to the country other than falling in love with it and deciding to purchase property there.

It's a country that we travel to several times per year. We love the people, culture, language, natural beauty of the land, food etc.

We don't speak the language fluently but are currently learning it.

This makes me jealous of people who are in a romantic relationship with someone other than the father of their children.
I wish I could travel with DH several times a year while the kids were with another parent who loves them and takes care of them 50% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should walk away from any man who denigrates mothers, female leaders, or older women. It’s blatant hatred for women. Why would you tolerate that? It will only manifest as more aggressive disrespectful behavior down the line. Date men who love women. And if you can’t find a man who loves and respects women just don’t date at all. You will be fine. Life is too short to deal with this crap.

maybe you should go tend to your cats

Living with cats is much better than being talked down to, cheated on, beaten, career hated on, or picking up after a grown adult. And that’s why so many women choose it.

Well, true but its not like you don't have to be the breadwinner or not have to clean their crap. Cats have their cons but yes, if you can't find, keep or want a man, cats are good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be offended, but facts are facts.

And the fact that he is buying property with and engaged to a woman he sees as "less valuable" tells us just how little value he has.

If OP is the best he can get, she is very valuable to him. But he is too dumb to know that you don't say things like that to people who are valuable to you.

She is valuable to him to the exact value of cash differential in that condo that he paid to get access to much younger body. It's a fair exchange in his eyes. But she has no value to him as a future wife because he understands it

Nah. He is dumb. He put his "fair exchange" at risk. OP is a fool if she stays with him after this.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be offended, but facts are facts.

And the fact that he is buying property with and engaged to a woman he sees as "less valuable" tells us just how little value he has.

If OP is the best he can get, she is very valuable to him. But he is too dumb to know that you don't say things like that to people who are valuable to you.

She is valuable to him to the exact value of cash differential in that condo that he paid to get access to much younger body. It's a fair exchange in his eyes. But she has no value to him as a future wife because he understands it

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you buy overseas?
Are you both US citizens or is one from that place? Family there?
An intent to marry at the time of engagement. Ok.
This engagement will last a loooong time.

We are both US citizens and have no connection to the country other than falling in love with it and deciding to purchase property there.

It's a country that we travel to several times per year. We love the people, culture, language, natural beauty of the land, food etc.

We don't speak the language fluently but are currently learning it.

This makes me jealous of people who are in a romantic relationship with someone other than the father of their children.
I wish I could travel with DH several times a year while the kids were with another parent who loves them and takes care of them 50% of the time.

Don’t be., usually these are shitty parents to their own kids. My ExH offloaded our SN kid 100% on me to travel with his AP , then with his multiple GFs. I bet he treats them similarly to how he treated our child. Screamed, nagged, puts down.

My child and I are so happy he’s out of our lives !