Advice to your younger soccer parent self

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Most follow this philosophy. It become clear just how hard it is to break through around middle school. Those who keep playing truly love to play and/or playing with their teammates (which makes the upcoming age group switch a possible bit of a downer) BUT also look to do other things -- which makes sense.

Break through to what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Why do you keep putting a parent commitment on par with a kid commitment? Stop acting like it’s your sports career. If you have a kid who is truly good enough for D1 or pro you will have people coming up to your kid and pointing this out. It’s not a goal you can decide on for your child ahead of time and think that you can get them to that level. If your kid lives breathes and sleeps a sport by all means support them. But you don’t need to turn into their coach/trainer. Be the supportive parent and let other people fill that role.

[Anonymous]

FOMO is real.
-Player needs to want it more than you want it for them.
-There is always someone better, always.
-If college soccer is really what they want, find a club that will help
-There are very few clubs in this area who will help ALL kids, so unless your kid is at the very top of the talent pool and comes with accolades/recognition from MLSN/ECNL/GA there is a very small chance your player will displace anyone on that club with a great recruiting program after U15.
-Kids get better, some kids peak early, every kid plateaus. Don't assume that the player who was the end of the roster will always be there. Every year changes.
-large rosters suck but are part of the deal the older they get.
-Don't use the word "we" ever. "We" don't train, "We" don't play. "We" aren't playing in college. YOUR CHILD IS, NOT YOU. Practice early not using "WE" for anything related to soccer, it will help you remember it's not about you.
-Soccer parents on the sidelines are not your friends, and it's ok. Be friendly, but as you get older, it's a business. The fun is gone during recruiting years.
-no one will share their recruiting process while they are in it. Don't ask either. Ask advice from parents of older kids.
-A coach can kill your kid's confidence. Move or teach them it's part of life having a bad boss. It's their choice.
-Have your child know what to expect from club coaches at showcases such as playing time, position. If not, you and your child will be blindsided by coaches decisions.
-College soccer landscape has changed so has the recruiting pace and type of players. Understand this early. D1 changing with transfer portal, roster caps, and international players. It's stressful. It's different than last year or or the year before that.
-youth soccer in NOVA sucks
-A GK who is talented and forward that scores are the most valuable players. Everyone else are fillers.
-if your kid isn't touching a ball every day, training on their own, asking for more training by U13/U14. Be realistic where they fall on the team, playing time.
-sometimes really driven kids with decent talent don't rise to the top. No amount of a drive can make up for athletic gifts who are just as driven.
-what are they giving up at school to be a part of that elite team? Clubs, friendships, academics. social events, memories.
-let them play high school soccer if they want. Club coaches control too much.
-recruiting SUCKS more than NOVA youth soccer. Everybody lies, grown adults lie to your 16 year old, believe no one until you have papers to sign. Coaches need to keep their jobs and they will do whatever it takes Your kid is wanted until they aren't.
-fitness has to be first and lifting weights is mandatory
-last piece of advice, have them play for fun. The journey can sour at the end and you wonder was it all worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps was an incredible stand out from young age. He had coaches who noticed his potential and made sure he got into the right training environment. He was raised by a single mom who followed the advice of the coaches. And guess what? He played multiple other sports until age 12 when he decided to focus on swimming only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the talent will show itself comment. It’s not talent. Kids as young as 5 have private trainers and are working out, ima professional gym, for agility and strength. Trust me.
Talent is built by parents who have money, time, and awareness that this can be the ticket for a college, at least on the girls side.
My DD LOVES soccer. Lives with a ball at her feet. Dying to play in college. I didn’t know any of this stuff and it’s simply too late in 9th grade.

I have seen all kinds of kids with amazing skills but are slow or small or weak or all of the above. Recruited athletes need ball sense, speed, strength, size and skills. You can’t train speed.

Most of the kids who trained from an early age also aren’t going to play in college.

Slow small and weak with amazing skills
What skills?

Need strength and size to carry training equipment?

Who plays in college, kids who start training at 16?

Who plays in college? Usually it’s the big, strong, tall fast kids (girls and boys) who have three big brothers who played soccer constantly in the back yard. Usually at least one parent played in college or pro.

Their talent gets noticed in elementary or middle school and they get put in top teams. It’s the training in the backyard on top of the athleticism that does it.

You have an active imagination

Umm no. Cavan Sullivan. Would he be as great without being youngest in a soccer rich family? I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay in Rec, invest in Nvidia the saved money

Exactly. This soccer scam is a total waste even if you do make d1.

My kid actually likes to play? Not everything is a damn "investment".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how this thread was for Parents of College aged kids to comment on. Now anyone with an opinion is chiming in.

-My advice is to keep it fun and keep school work as priority number 1. Don't compare your kid to others that you do not have any control over. Comparison is the thief of joy.

It's an anonymous message board. People will chime in whenever/wherever they want and often with horrible takes. Just skip those and move on.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is not on the top elite team because politics or because he/she isn’t getting noticed.

If they were that good, they would get noticed. People would pull you aside and make “suggestions” and create a pathway for your kid. You cannot create a pathway to college or pro sports for them.

That doesn’t mean kids shouldn’t keep playing! Just realize that they are most likely playing for fun, something nice to put on the college app (as a non recruited athlete). They should look for leadership opportunities and learn how to be a good teammate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Why do you keep putting a parent commitment on par with a kid commitment? Stop acting like it’s your sports career. If you have a kid who is truly good enough for D1 or pro you will have people coming up to your kid and pointing this out. It’s not a goal you can decide on for your child ahead of time and think that you can get them to that level. If your kid lives breathes and sleeps a sport by all means support them. But you don’t need to turn into their coach/trainer. Be the supportive parent and let other people fill that role.

If the parent isn't committed how does a committed little kid go it alone to the top?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps was an incredible stand out from young age. He had coaches who noticed his potential and made sure he got into the right training environment. He was raised by a single mom who followed the advice of the coaches. And guess what? He played multiple other sports until age 12 when he decided to focus on swimming only.

His mom shouldn't have listened to the coaches or allowed him to go train with them, because everyone can't be an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Why do you keep putting a parent commitment on par with a kid commitment? Stop acting like it’s your sports career. If you have a kid who is truly good enough for D1 or pro you will have people coming up to your kid and pointing this out. It’s not a goal you can decide on for your child ahead of time and think that you can get them to that level. If your kid lives breathes and sleeps a sport by all means support them. But you don’t need to turn into their coach/trainer. Be the supportive parent and let other people fill that role.

If the parent isn't committed how does a committed little kid go it alone to the top?

What's your definition of committed? How does a little kid even know what they want to commit to without an adult putting that idea in their head? You can take a kid who loves soccer to the park to kick the ball around without going all crazy booking private trainers, setting up a basement gym, and driving long distances to the "best" club. No need to act like a coach. Just be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps was an incredible stand out from young age. He had coaches who noticed his potential and made sure he got into the right training environment. He was raised by a single mom who followed the advice of the coaches. And guess what? He played multiple other sports until age 12 when he decided to focus on swimming only.

His mom shouldn't have listened to the coaches or allowed him to go train with them, because everyone can't be an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

You aren't very smart, are you? There's a difference between a parent following a coach's recommendation with agreement of a kid vs. a parent taking their kid to the pool from age 6 and making them work on strokes all the time while also putting them in a bunch of private lessons outside of practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

That isn't a philosophy that they stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids will not play soccer beyond high school. It's ok to decide that the time and money of elite soccer is not money well spent. You can play for the love of the game with much less commitment.

What happens if every parent and every kid participating in every sport followed your philosophy of not committing to excelling, because everyone can't be Michael Phelps?

Michael Phelps was an incredible stand out from young age. He had coaches who noticed his potential and made sure he got into the right training environment. He was raised by a single mom who followed the advice of the coaches. And guess what? He played multiple other sports until age 12 when he decided to focus on swimming only.

His mom shouldn't have listened to the coaches or allowed him to go train with them, because everyone can't be an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

You aren't very smart, are you? There's a difference between a parent following a coach's recommendation with agreement of a kid vs. a parent taking their kid to the pool from age 6 and making them work on strokes all the time while also putting them in a bunch of private lessons outside of practice.

So Michael Phelps did the same type of swim training and put in the same amount of time and effort into it as the average kid?

[Anonymous]

So many parents think they can "engineer" a college player by steering their path starting at very young age. If they just find the right club/team/coach/trainer it will all work out. The truth is it's nearly all out of the parent's control other than being supportive, getting them where they need to be on time, and writing checks.