Don’t want to host nephew for the summer

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a little weird that any well regarded law firm would take children to “intern” over the summer. These are rising high school juniors? They’d need to house them, feed them, ensure their safety? I don’t get this “program” where children are meant to find their own places to live

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not great for a 16 yo to be in a different city "renting" on their own, even with a friend. Your friend isn't family. I get you don't want to do this. Just know that it will always be remembered that you didn't. If you don't care about being that person, then hold firm.

Agree. He's a minor. The problem with the whole situation is that he is just too young to actually do this. Minors going to other cities for opportunities are either in programs that include housing or they are living with someone they know.

If he lived with you, you are stuck at home if he can't take off work when you go on vacation. Leaving a 16YO home alone in your house while you are gone is not a great plan. Renting him his own apartment is ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

This "internship" makes no sense at all. No law firm needs a 16YO to anything, let alone a kid who has to move to take the position and has no housing.

You should push back with your family on the whole scheme and question its validity. How did he get this "internship"?

[Anonymous]

Stand firm, that internship is most likely not life changing. People freaking out over him living alone, in 2 yrs he will be in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ice cold to have your 16 year old nephew stay elsewhere.

This. Wow. He sounds annoying but he is family. And everyone talking about him renting? He is 16 years old. And no, he is not going to be working long hours at the law firm as a 16 year old intern. You sound like a jerk, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ice cold to have your 16 year old nephew stay elsewhere.

Agree. Also your kids need to gain some grit. I think the real issue is that you don’t want your kids to see how comparatively spoiled and delicate they are.

Making a 16-year-old nephew stay by himself in a basement so your children don’t have to experience a single negative emotion ever in their lives is horrifically bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you described was bullying behavior.

Let me explain-
When you crap all over someone else's success to on up yourself - it's bullying.

Here's the idiomatic expression that goes with it "He cuts the heads off those around him to make himself look taller."

Someone here lacks social skills.

Being a jerk is not bullying. It's not excusable behavior, but words mean things.

-DP

Ok, thanks for that precise split of the hairs. So, OP defined bad social behavior as bullying and you want to ensure she has the correct definition, because that's so important for this discussion. I think we all got it now. Thanks for your brilliant add.

[Anonymous]

Be honest. Tell him, that the reason he may miss out on this opportunity is because he is arrogant and rude. Being academically smart will only get you so far. If you are off putting to others it will impact your opportunities.

I would be clear on expectations and give it go, with the understanding he may need to move into the rental or go home if he can't reign in his attitude quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a little weird that any well regarded law firm would take children to “intern” over the summer. These are rising high school juniors? They’d need to house them, feed them, ensure their safety? I don’t get this “program” where children are meant to find their own places to live

I work in Big Oil and we used to take on HS students for interns. They mostly did admin work. So, yes, totally possible that Big Law does the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's ice cold to have your 16 year old nephew stay elsewhere.

Agree. Also your kids need to gain some grit. I think the real issue is that you don’t want your kids to see how comparatively spoiled and delicate they are.

Making a 16-year-old nephew stay by himself in a basement so your children don’t have to experience a single negative emotion ever in their lives is horrifically bad parenting.

I couldn't disagree more.

[Anonymous]

He will get far more out of this program living in the programs housing which your mother should pay for since she’s looking to make this happen. Part of the value of these things is living independently with similar smart, motivated kids. Explain this to your rude mother.

No way would I do this in the situation you describe. Hosting a 16 year old means driving them around, feeding them, taking them on any of your vacation, weekend or whatever plans, juggling your kids activities with their activities etc. Does your mother expect you to get an extra car for the kid to use? Give them a hefty allowance for parking and or cover their parking tickets? Unless you live in safe walking distance to a metro area you the rude, bulky kid’s on call Uber?

Since the bully kid is so above every I’m sure your mother expects you to do his laundry, clean up after him and take him with you on all outings. Just no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a little weird that any well regarded law firm would take children to “intern” over the summer. These are rising high school juniors? They’d need to house them, feed them, ensure their safety? I don’t get this “program” where children are meant to find their own places to live

I work in Big Oil and we used to take on HS students for interns. They mostly did admin work. So, yes, totally possible that Big Law does the same thing.

I work with a lot of law firms and have not seen meaningful summer internships for high school students that expect kids to move to another city. They might do a mentorship program with local HS students, or a career day. There are summer jobs, usually for kids of clients or partners, but they tend to be pretty basic. I worked for a law firm at 18 and it was tedious doc review kind of work (although I was glad to have the job).

I haven’t read all the posts but the scholarship offer seems unusual as well. There have been some URM scholarships in the past but for law school, not college. And those have all changed with DEI backlash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stand firm, that internship is most likely not life changing. People freaking out over him living alone, in 2 yrs he will be in college.

College is completely different with communal housing, dining halls, RAs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Don’t his parents have any pride. I wouldn’t want my kid to stay with his aunt if she doesn’t want him. It would be terrible 3 months for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Just tell everyone that you’ll be going on vacation a couple of times during the summer—it may be true, right? So he can’t stay with you because he can’t be left alone in your house.