Nursing home for undocumented friend

[Anonymous]

We have no kids and no family and no friends in the area. We are on our own and will have to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea from where this person originated…but the end goal for many immigrants is to make their money in the US and then retire back to their home country where you can actually spend your elder years in relative luxury based on the money you banked here.

My longtime painter texted all his clients that he was retiring back in El Salvador (admittedly still some family there).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for your care and concern for your friend. What a sad situation for her. With no home to go back to, no family to help, no benefits here...she is lucky she is not entirely alone.

It breaks my heart to read all the inhumane and unkind replies here. If you have family, health, benefits, a safety net: you are LUCKIER than this woman. You are not more deserving.

There but for the grace of God go I, so they say. Or theee but for the sheer luck of how and where I was born, go I.

You are not alone in being horrified at the lack of empathy or the awareness of good fortune displayed in this thread.

You are very mightier than thou and assuming plenty of things yourself.

I haven't seen anyone in this thread gloating or not being willing to acknowledge their privilege. On the other had, I have seen people be quite factual about how strained resources are for people who have been paying into the system and will likely never recoup that themselves. They might get marginal assistance, but not enough.

And again, not gloating, but factually -- this was not an unforeseen problem. Was there no plan at all, other than to assume someone(s) else would have to help?

People have directly stated they have no empathy. Someone suggested shipping her to Canada for assisted suicide (that’s not how it works FYI, but the cruel intention was there). I highly doubt any of you making these callous remarks are doing anything to help suffering Americans either.

You couldn't be more wrong.

Have YOU done years of volunteer work with the elderly? Gone to nursing facilities? Visited elderly in their homes? Brought them meals, helped them with hygiene and house cleaning? Advocated with local elected officials for better services?

At a minimum, have you gone out and purchased items needed by your local, poor elderly and donated them - even small things like lotions, hygiene items, maybe a couple of word puzzle books?

If you have not then why not? In 2025, will you pledge to call your local Agency on Aging and offer your time?

If not, perhaps look at your own callousness. There is significant need for the poor elderly in this country. Put up or shut up.

Not only have I volunteered extensively, I’ve been the primary caregiver for friends and neighbors who had no one else. How nice that you visited a few times, Lady Bountiful.

Great. Post your contact info, and this situation is settled. Thanks in advance.

This. Experienced primary caregivers are in great demand. OP's friend needs someone exactly like PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for your care and concern for your friend. What a sad situation for her. With no home to go back to, no family to help, no benefits here...she is lucky she is not entirely alone.

It breaks my heart to read all the inhumane and unkind replies here. If you have family, health, benefits, a safety net: you are LUCKIER than this woman. You are not more deserving.

There but for the grace of God go I, so they say. Or theee but for the sheer luck of how and where I was born, go I.

Um, no, you skipped right over the highly significant part where the person took a series of intentional actions for 15 years that landed her where she is today.

She could have stayed “where [she] was born” but she chose not to do that and willingly chose instead to commit a federal crime by staying in the US illegally. It’s not like a bolt of lightning struck her “where she was born” and she was powerless over that lightning. She had agency, obviously, and she made choices.

You assume facts not in evidence- namely that she didn’t have family or support in the country she left. And therefore she’s un”lucky” but we are all “luckier.”

Elon Musk and his equally odious brother are here illegally. Are you campaigning to have them removed? How about Melania?

None of these people are here illegally. But to your larger point, none of the three are hoping to nab a beyond-scare bed in a Medicaid memory facility to the tune of $6500 a month. All of the 3 have the funds to pay out of pocket for such a room, should the need arise, in a private for-profit facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

I can understand the argument that the US should perhaps take care of the US citizens first, but you lose all credibility and sympathy when you insenuate that undocumented immigrants don’t work hard or obeyed our laws. Other than overstaying her visa or even crossing the border illegally, undocumented immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to take. Pay into the system that will never give anything back to them. Are scared of their own shadow in fear of being deported. Do you ever ask yourself why anyone would want to live like this if things at home are just hunky dory? Or do you think they would be starving or dead if they stayed? I refuse to look down on anyone who was simply trying to survive because both you and I would do the same damn thing if we had to. So get off your Fox News box and try to look at everyone as human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

I can understand the argument that the US should perhaps take care of the US citizens first, but you lose all credibility and sympathy when you insenuate that undocumented immigrants don’t work hard or obeyed our laws. Other than overstaying her visa or even crossing the border illegally, undocumented immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to take. Pay into the system that will never give anything back to them. Are scared of their own shadow in fear of being deported. Do you ever ask yourself why anyone would want to live like this if things at home are just hunky dory? Or do you think they would be starving or dead if they stayed? I refuse to look down on anyone who was simply trying to survive because both you and I would do the same damn thing if we had to. So get off your Fox News box and try to look at everyone as human beings.

The person you’re responding to implied illegal immigrants didn’t always obey the law and didn’t pay taxes. That’s the truth, it’s not a Fox News falsehood. You’re whole response is just unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing OP won't be back.

Probably thought there were going to be taxpayer-funded/free options available for her friend and is now disheartened to know there aren't.

I am here, reading. Looks like she is out of options. She can’t go back (long and sad story) Will she just die on the street if no one takes her in? So sad but yeah, taxpayers money, I hear you(OP)

Unfortunately with all the freebies given to illegal immigrants over the past four years (at least what we've been made aware of) people are running out of sympathy and I can't say I blame them. She needs to go back to her country, and yes, she can go back to her country. I have enough on my plate, as do many other Americans, just don't have the empathy in me any longer.

What are the freebies?

Wow you're really out of touch

No. PP made a statement. She should be able to back it up with examples as part of the dialogue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

I can understand the argument that the US should perhaps take care of the US citizens first, but you lose all credibility and sympathy when you insenuate that undocumented immigrants don’t work hard or obeyed our laws. Other than overstaying her visa or even crossing the border illegally, undocumented immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to take. Pay into the system that will never give anything back to them. Are scared of their own shadow in fear of being deported. Do you ever ask yourself why anyone would want to live like this if things at home are just hunky dory? Or do you think they would be starving or dead if they stayed? I refuse to look down on anyone who was simply trying to survive because both you and I would do the same damn thing if we had to. So get off your Fox News box and try to look at everyone as human beings.

The person you’re responding to implied illegal immigrants didn’t always obey the law and didn’t pay taxes. That’s the truth, it’s not a Fox News falsehood. You’re whole response is just unnecessary.

It is a thousand percent Fox News propaganda. Illegal immigrants are the current boogyman responsible for everything that’s wrong with the country currently but in a lot of the ways they are the backbone of this economy and break the law less on average that the citizens. You just want to get informed. It’s easier to blame them for your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

I can understand the argument that the US should perhaps take care of the US citizens first, but you lose all credibility and sympathy when you insenuate that undocumented immigrants don’t work hard or obeyed our laws. Other than overstaying her visa or even crossing the border illegally, undocumented immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to take. Pay into the system that will never give anything back to them. Are scared of their own shadow in fear of being deported. Do you ever ask yourself why anyone would want to live like this if things at home are just hunky dory? Or do you think they would be starving or dead if they stayed? I refuse to look down on anyone who was simply trying to survive because both you and I would do the same damn thing if we had to. So get off your Fox News box and try to look at everyone as human beings.

The person you’re responding to implied illegal immigrants didn’t always obey the law and didn’t pay taxes. That’s the truth, it’s not a Fox News falsehood. You’re whole response is just unnecessary.

It is a thousand percent Fox News propaganda. Illegal immigrants are the current boogyman responsible for everything that’s wrong with the country currently but in a lot of the ways they are the backbone of this economy and break the law less on average that the citizens. You just want to get informed. It’s easier to blame them for your problems.

The amount of money they steal/ exploit with using our human resource safety nets and especially English 2nd language in our declining schools is completely documented.
They take waaay more than they contribute. Fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing OP won't be back.

Probably thought there were going to be taxpayer-funded/free options available for her friend and is now disheartened to know there aren't.

I am here, reading. Looks like she is out of options. She can’t go back (long and sad story) Will she just die on the street if no one takes her in? So sad but yeah, taxpayers money, I hear you(OP)

I am sorry for your friend OP. Unless she comes from a conflict zone, she would be better off in her home country. Here, will end up in the street with brief stints in the ER.

[Anonymous]

You or she or someone needs to call the aging office in your area and ask for help. She cannot be the only one and they probably find the funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for your care and concern for your friend. What a sad situation for her. With no home to go back to, no family to help, no benefits here...she is lucky she is not entirely alone.

It breaks my heart to read all the inhumane and unkind replies here. If you have family, health, benefits, a safety net: you are LUCKIER than this woman. You are not more deserving.

There but for the grace of God go I, so they say. Or theee but for the sheer luck of how and where I was born, go I.

I suggest you go and do volunteer work with the elderly here in the US.

Do you have any idea of how many elderly Americans who are not in good health nor do they have funds to pay for medical expenses/prescriptions, do not have family who cares about them, their social security benefits are completely inadequate for basic living expenses, they wind up losing their homes or selling at a loss because of medical debt, and Federal/state/local programs have no support to provide them?

To be clear, these are people who do not have addiction issues, have worked and paid taxes their entire lives, raised their families without any government assistance, paid their bills on time/no debt, and have lived frugally. They are the ones who deserve your sympathy, or at least your vote to start funding care programs for the elderly.

If you think we are inhumane here in the US, I would challenge you to take two or three elderly Americans on a one-way flight to any other country (including European countries) and tell the authorities to take care of them until they die. How many do you think would accommodate them?

Zero. That's how many. Zero.

Not zero, no. In fact, my octogenarian father was visiting his brother on their farm in an EU country when he caught a cold, which led to pneumonia, which led to multi-organ shutdown. He was hospitalized for several days. He could have stayed there and his family encouraged him to, since it would be free. Instead, he opted to fly home to NY so he could die at home because he knew it would be more expensive for my mom and my brothers and me to fly his remains home and manage all the arrangements from overseas.

He had no money except his socual security income; he had no assets whatsoever except for a 20 year old car worth less than $500. He and my mom rented our whole lives. I quit my job to care for him at home on home hospice as Medicare would not pay for long term care and his Medicaid approval did not come through until after he died.

In the EU country, he was charged $50 for his initial hospital admission but they apologized for that and said he would apply to have it refunded once his admission lasted longer than 24 hours. His similar length ICU stay in CT resulted in bills of nearly $250,000 (covered mostly by Medicare but he had to pay his portion) but it was literally zero in the EI country. It would have been free for him to stay if he didn't insist on traveling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you desperately want to help her then take her in and take care of her yourself.

I don’t have the space or resources to provide 24/7 care

OP, and I say this gently -- neither does America.

BINGO. We don’t have enough to even look after American citizens who fought for our country! Or those elderly folks who worked hard, always obeyed our laws and paid US income taxes their whole lives here. The idea of us supporting someone who came here illegally a decade ago and now want expensive nursing home care makes me furious.

I can understand the argument that the US should perhaps take care of the US citizens first, but you lose all credibility and sympathy when you insenuate that undocumented immigrants don’t work hard or obeyed our laws. Other than overstaying her visa or even crossing the border illegally, undocumented immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to take. Pay into the system that will never give anything back to them. Are scared of their own shadow in fear of being deported. Do you ever ask yourself why anyone would want to live like this if things at home are just hunky dory? Or do you think they would be starving or dead if they stayed? I refuse to look down on anyone who was simply trying to survive because both you and I would do the same damn thing if we had to. So get off your Fox News box and try to look at everyone as human beings.

The person you’re responding to implied illegal immigrants didn’t always obey the law and didn’t pay taxes. That’s the truth, it’s not a Fox News falsehood. You’re whole response is just unnecessary.

It is a thousand percent Fox News propaganda. Illegal immigrants are the current boogyman responsible for everything that’s wrong with the country currently but in a lot of the ways they are the backbone of this economy and break the law less on average that the citizens. You just want to get informed. It’s easier to blame them for your problems.

The amount of money they steal/ exploit with using our human resource safety nets and especially English 2nd language in our declining schools is completely documented.
They take waaay more than they contribute. Fact.

Care to support that fact with a source it came from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for your care and concern for your friend. What a sad situation for her. With no home to go back to, no family to help, no benefits here...she is lucky she is not entirely alone.

It breaks my heart to read all the inhumane and unkind replies here. If you have family, health, benefits, a safety net: you are LUCKIER than this woman. You are not more deserving.

There but for the grace of God go I, so they say. Or theee but for the sheer luck of how and where I was born, go I.

I suggest you go and do volunteer work with the elderly here in the US.

Do you have any idea of how many elderly Americans who are not in good health nor do they have funds to pay for medical expenses/prescriptions, do not have family who cares about them, their social security benefits are completely inadequate for basic living expenses, they wind up losing their homes or selling at a loss because of medical debt, and Federal/state/local programs have no support to provide them?

To be clear, these are people who do not have addiction issues, have worked and paid taxes their entire lives, raised their families without any government assistance, paid their bills on time/no debt, and have lived frugally. They are the ones who deserve your sympathy, or at least your vote to start funding care programs for the elderly.

If you think we are inhumane here in the US, I would challenge you to take two or three elderly Americans on a one-way flight to any other country (including European countries) and tell the authorities to take care of them until they die. How many do you think would accommodate them?

Zero. That's how many. Zero.

Not zero, no. In fact, my octogenarian father was visiting his brother on their farm in an EU country when he caught a cold, which led to pneumonia, which led to multi-organ shutdown. He was hospitalized for several days. He could have stayed there and his family encouraged him to, since it would be free. Instead, he opted to fly home to NY so he could die at home because he knew it would be more expensive for my mom and my brothers and me to fly his remains home and manage all the arrangements from overseas.

He had no money except his socual security income; he had no assets whatsoever except for a 20 year old car worth less than $500. He and my mom rented our whole lives. I quit my job to care for him at home on home hospice as Medicare would not pay for long term care and his Medicaid approval did not come through until after he died.

In the EU country, he was charged $50 for his initial hospital admission but they apologized for that and said he would apply to have it refunded once his admission lasted longer than 24 hours. His similar length ICU stay in CT resulted in bills of nearly $250,000 (covered mostly by Medicare but he had to pay his portion) but it was literally zero in the EI country. It would have been free for him to stay if he didn't insist on traveling.

An undocumented worker could get emergency care for an emergent issue. However, long term care is a no.