What does your nursing toddler call your boobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lot of anger in this post. It amazes me how angry women get over other women's choices. I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

To those who have an issue with this...it isn't about you. Why care? You know that nursing doesn't create sociopaths or problems for society, let's be reasonable. Nursing is a completely healthy, normal thing. There is nothing wrong with nursing a baby or a toddler. I think every woman disgusted with nursing a toddler in this thread knows that on some level their disgust and discomfort with something that does not impact them and about which they should not waste their time being disgusted by is really about issues they have with themselves/women in general. Otherwise why care?

No really, ask yourself, why do I care that women I don't even know choose to continue to nurse their children? Why does it make me so angry? If I feel that they are self-righteous why do I let that bother me? If I feel comfortable with my decisions why do I let the decisions of others make me so uncomfortable? How come I'm so mortified by another woman using her body in a normal way that should not be shameful? Nursing is good for children and it is normal.

Meh. I'm not "angry," just confused. Your daughter is plenty healthy by now. Don't you want your body back? Don't you want some privacy, not have to wear nursing bras, and not have to be an on-demand "milch cow" ? Don't you want to view your tits in a sexual way again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lot of anger in this post. It amazes me how angry women get over other women's choices. I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

To those who have an issue with this...it isn't about you. Why care? You know that nursing doesn't create sociopaths or problems for society, let's be reasonable. Nursing is a completely healthy, normal thing. There is nothing wrong with nursing a baby or a toddler. I think every woman disgusted with nursing a toddler in this thread knows that on some level their disgust and discomfort with something that does not impact them and about which they should not waste their time being disgusted by is really about issues they have with themselves/women in general. Otherwise why care?

No really, ask yourself, why do I care that women I don't even know choose to continue to nurse their children? Why does it make me so angry? If I feel that they are self-righteous why do I let that bother me? If I feel comfortable with my decisions why do I let the decisions of others make me so uncomfortable? How come I'm so mortified by another woman using her body in a normal way that should not be shameful? Nursing is good for children and it is normal.

Yknow, I think that most of these women, really don't feel that strongely about it. It's just nice to get on an anonymous forum and go at it with someone who can't enforce any repercussions on you for being an utter bitch.

I think you are on to something. It really doesn't make any other sense why some of these women are making these comments about extended BFing.

[Anonymous]

But why do you care about my body? You could be doing all kinds of things with your body that I really have no business judging you for...though I may not do them or even totally understand them. What if you run marathons, climb mountains, meditate, take herbal vitamins, etc, etc.... What does that have to do with me? I may not choose to do those things, but why would I care if you do? Those things are not harmful to me or society. You may be passionate about those things even, maybe even feel proud of really taking care of yourself or whatever but that still has nothing to do with me. See where I'm going with this?

I'm not an on demand milch cow or whatever you called it just fyi. My kid nurses a few times a day. Even though she is perfectly healthy the antibodies are still good for her and again it is a healthy way to help her soothe herself. But again, just because you don't understand why someone else would do it, and just because you wouldn't do it yourself doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. And nursing doesn't change my sexual relationship with DH and it doesn't even come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lot of anger in this post. It amazes me how angry women get over other women's choices. I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

To those who have an issue with this...it isn't about you. Why care? You know that nursing doesn't create sociopaths or problems for society, let's be reasonable. Nursing is a completely healthy, normal thing. There is nothing wrong with nursing a baby or a toddler. I think every woman disgusted with nursing a toddler in this thread knows that on some level their disgust and discomfort with something that does not impact them and about which they should not waste their time being disgusted by is really about issues they have with themselves/women in general. Otherwise why care?

No really, ask yourself, why do I care that women I don't even know choose to continue to nurse their children? Why does it make me so angry? If I feel that they are self-righteous why do I let that bother me? If I feel comfortable with my decisions why do I let the decisions of others make me so uncomfortable? How come I'm so mortified by another woman using her body in a normal way that should not be shameful? Nursing is good for children and it is normal.

Meh. I'm not "angry," just confused. Your daughter is plenty healthy by now. Don't you want your body back? Don't you want some privacy, not have to wear nursing bras, and not have to be an on-demand "milch cow" ? Don't you want to view your tits in a sexual way again?

Who really uses the word "tits" about their body? And why do you care about what the pp does with hers? If she & her DD are happy then shouldn't that be enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lot of anger in this post. It amazes me how angry women get over other women's choices. I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

To those who have an issue with this...it isn't about you. Why care? You know that nursing doesn't create sociopaths or problems for society, let's be reasonable. Nursing is a completely healthy, normal thing. There is nothing wrong with nursing a baby or a toddler. I think every woman disgusted with nursing a toddler in this thread knows that on some level their disgust and discomfort with something that does not impact them and about which they should not waste their time being disgusted by is really about issues they have with themselves/women in general. Otherwise why care?

No really, ask yourself, why do I care that women I don't even know choose to continue to nurse their children? Why does it make me so angry? If I feel that they are self-righteous why do I let that bother me? If I feel comfortable with my decisions why do I let the decisions of others make me so uncomfortable? How come I'm so mortified by another woman using her body in a normal way that should not be shameful? Nursing is good for children and it is normal.

Meh. I'm not "angry," just confused. Your daughter is plenty healthy by now. Don't you want your body back? Don't you want some privacy, not have to wear nursing bras, and not have to be an on-demand "milch cow" ? Don't you want to view your tits in a sexual way again?

Not the PP you quoted, but also an extended nurser. And I think your post illustrates one of the misconceptions about extended nursing - that it has the same impact on you as the Mom that nursing an infant does. And at least personally that was not at all my experience. By the time I was nursing a toddler there were a lot of limits on the relationship, and I felt free to say No if it was a situation / time I wasn't comfortable nursing. And since we were nursing so much less, the milk production had also really calmed down, so I didn't need to wear nursing pads or a nursing bra. I could also easily go away from my child for business or personal trips.

[Anonymous]

I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

I'm 21:00. I'm not nursing because it makes my boobs prettier or for weight loss, they are only added benefits. This is my second time around and for me my nursing boobs are a bit perkier than idle ones.

There are plenty of earnest, wholesome reasons for nursing that are all about the child and medically recommended. blah blah. That kind of craps rubs me the wrong way.

Mostly I nurse because we both still like it. It is part of the currency of our relationship. It helps her sleep. It lets me sleep later in the morning when she crawls in my bed at some ungodly hour. I'm lazy sometimes, it makes her happy. I can read and she is quiet. She touches my cheek and looks up at me with one blue eye. We won't nurse forever but it is damn sweet now.

I love grossing out b****** with pinched hearts.

[Anonymous]

Not the pp you're quoting, but I guess I'm confused about why you're confused. She's doing what's best for her family, as I assume you do for yours and I do for mine. It works for them and when it doesn't anymore than that's when you wean.

As far as viewing my tits sexually... well DH and I never stopped. And I have some pretty cute and even a few, dare I say, sexy nursing bras. I may still be nursing, but I'm not dead. Even when DS was still cosleeping with us, DH and I still found time to be intimate with each other.

[Anonymous]

Wow, of all the threads I've read so far, this has to be the most depressing. I'm still nursing my almost 13 month old. I never planned to nurse until 2 or anywhere near it. In fact, when I started nursing, I figured 6 months would do it. I never realized how rewarding, easy, or amazing the nursing relationship would be. And I never realized how different children could be. My dear friend with a baby my son's age weaned easily just past a year. My son, however, is not eating enough solid food to wean; if I weaned now I would have to feed him formula. Not that this is inherently disastrous, but why would I do that when he can just have my milk?

Breasts are sexual to men for the same reason big hips are -- they are a sign of a woman's fertility and ability to nurture mutual offspring. That's it, ladies. When your husband is turned on by your breasts, that's all part of nature's plan. And so is breastfeeding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

I am shocked at the amount of people with really juvenile attitudes toward breasts and breastfeeding. Wean a baby when he can talk? My DS had 5 words by 10 months, including milk. Should I have weaned him? (Note: that question is rhetorical, I'm not really interested in your replies).

The thing is, I'm not really interested in your choices, either. I just don't see why anyone on here is interested in mine, unless they feel so bad about their own choices that the only way up is to try and tear others down. You are a sad lot, and you all have my sympathies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I always say *Want nurse?* but thanks to DH the 2 y/o cries for *Tittay*.

Eh, sometimes we say things in front jokingly of DS that we don't really want him to repeat and he becomes obsessed with them. It doesn't seem fair to portray this woman's husband as a terrible person because of it - he was probably just kidding around.

See? She gets it.

Maybe little miss *I can't follow more than one quote* just doesn't have the sort of marriage where you can joke with your partner.

I agree with this. I can see if you're a fun, light hearted couple that you would joke around like this and it can unfortunately, accidentally stick.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what kind of self image problems you ladies have but I nurse and still I see myself very sexual, DH gets his share of my breasts, baby gets hers, I get mine...
Also, you ladies disgusted with the nursing toddlers don't seem to know what you're talking about here: Toddlers nurse early in the morning and at night time so no need to wear nursing bras.
And what's the deal with "getting your body back"? Nobody ever took mine away. I nurse and I still have total control of my body. Sorry if you ladies couldn't manage breastfeeding more effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lot of anger in this post. It amazes me how angry women get over other women's choices. I'm still nursing my 14 month old because it is good for her (the antibodies in the milk are good for her and it is a healthy way to soothe her). I'm doing what is the right thing for my kid, but I don't care what anyone else does. By the way, nursing doesn't help me lose weight and my breasts don't look any different now than after I weaned my first daughter (at 13 1/2 months).

To those who have an issue with this...it isn't about you. Why care? You know that nursing doesn't create sociopaths or problems for society, let's be reasonable. Nursing is a completely healthy, normal thing. There is nothing wrong with nursing a baby or a toddler. I think every woman disgusted with nursing a toddler in this thread knows that on some level their disgust and discomfort with something that does not impact them and about which they should not waste their time being disgusted by is really about issues they have with themselves/women in general. Otherwise why care?

No really, ask yourself, why do I care that women I don't even know choose to continue to nurse their children? Why does it make me so angry? If I feel that they are self-righteous why do I let that bother me? If I feel comfortable with my decisions why do I let the decisions of others make me so uncomfortable? How come I'm so mortified by another woman using her body in a normal way that should not be shameful? Nursing is good for children and it is normal.

Meh. I'm not "angry," just confused. Your daughter is plenty healthy by now. Don't you want your body back? Don't you want some privacy, not have to wear nursing bras, and not have to be an on-demand "milch cow" ? Don't you want to view your tits in a sexual way again?

Not the PP, but I can answer your questions from my own perspective (happily nursing my 13 1/2 mo):

1. I don't "want my body back" -- I know the feeling you're talking about and DEFINITELY felt it many times during the first year of nursing, especially during that tough, round-the-clock newborn phase. And when DS had food allergies/sensitivities that required me to give up dairy, soy and eggs for over six months. That sucked. But nursing a toddler is so easy. It's very different from nursing a newborn and really doesn't feel burdensome to me. The health benefits to him & me are worth the minor inconveniences here and there. YMMV.

2. Not sure what you mean by wanting privacy -- privacy from my baby?

3. I'm down to pumping once a day at work (and soon won't be pumping at all), so for the most part I don't wear nursing bras anymore. On the weekends I wear comfy nursing tanks under my tops. I must say my big BFing rack looks *awesome* in a Victoria's Secret bra right now.

4. Being an on-demand milk cow was indeed pretty burdensome during the newborn phase. But when nursing a toddler, Mom gets to set the limits and set the schedule. If I don't feel like nursing at a particular moment or in a particular place, it's easy to distract him with some other snack or other distraction. No problem. No more "milk cow" feeling (I know the feeling you're talking about).

5. I have NO problem viewing my tits in a sexual way. I don't see the sexy/sexual nature of my breasts as conflicting with BFing. I think a lot of moms do have some discomfort in this area and that discomfort is what's really at the heart of many women's negative reactions toward so-called "extended breastfeeding" (physiologically, it's "normal breastfeeding," it only seems "extended" because of our cultural norms). Did I mention how good I look in my bras/clothes right now? Well let me mention it again!

I hope that helps with your confusion. I think your questions are legitimate and I've tried to answer them the best I can.

[Anonymous]

I cannot still fathom why anyone would think extended breastfeeding is disgusting, or the naming of such by innocent children. How abnormal.

[Anonymous]

first PP here
no self-loathing

My breasts are indeed ugly, but my body is in better shape now that it was during my college years b/c of exercise and eating right. But when a child is latched onto the boob - even if it's twice a day - that cuts into MY time to exercise, to get ready for work, to have a drink at night, etc. And I don't want my 2 yo son to be chasing after me, asking for some "titay."

So it was time to stop.

FWIW, my husband never says anything negative about my 40-something body - only positive things. And I'm quite comfortable in my skin, in a tank, in a two-piece bathing suit, you name it.

So self-loathing was not part of the picture. I simply believe that in order to develop some healthy boundaries - and to encourage independence - a cup of milk with a straw is a big help!

These are my beliefs, and both of my children are just fine.

Anonymous wrote:

I much prefer that fact that my 2 yo boy loves his cup and straw - and that my breasts, uglier than ever, are all mine.

This is the root of the revulsion, a self loathing at our maternal bodies. I'm nursing a 19 month old. My body is very much my own. My boobs are sexy and beautiful to me and my husband. In fact I worry that they will be less so when I quit nursing and they deflate. I also feel like nursing is a great weight loss strategy.

I am very much in charge of the nursing relationship. I'm delighted at my toddlers blossoming independence. She's a confident, happy, verbal, funny and nearly potty trained girl. She also drinks from a cup most of the time.

Another piece of the revulsion: I'm too am turned off my parents who can't take charge of their children or enforce clear limits, something I see sometimes with worn out moms nursing 3 year olds in public, but I don't think nursing mom's have a corner on that market!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
first PP here
no self-loathing

My breasts are indeed ugly, but my body is in better shape now that it was during my college years b/c of exercise and eating right. But when a child is latched onto the boob - even if it's twice a day - that cuts into MY time to exercise, to get ready for work, to have a drink at night, etc. And I don't want my 2 yo son to be chasing after me, asking for some "titay."

So it was time to stop.

FWIW, my husband never says anything negative about my 40-something body - only positive things. And I'm quite comfortable in my skin, in a tank, in a two-piece bathing suit, you name it.

So self-loathing was not part of the picture. I simply believe that in order to develop some healthy boundaries - and to encourage independence - a cup of milk with a straw is a big help!

These are my beliefs, and both of my children are just fine.

I don't care if you want to continue nursing or not, certainly don't think it is for everyone, and I am not trying to convince you to. BUT. Your bolded argument is ridiculous. If you don't want your son calling it "tittay," don't teach him the word.
And more importantly, if you don't have 5 or 10minutes a day extra to spare for your child, which is all nursing at older child takes, then I think you have bigger problems than wanting your body back--it seems like you want your pre-baby life back, and not nursing certainly isn't going to accomplish that.

Anonymous wrote:

I much prefer that fact that my 2 yo boy loves his cup and straw - and that my breasts, uglier than ever, are all mine.

This is the root of the revulsion, a self loathing at our maternal bodies. I'm nursing a 19 month old. My body is very much my own. My boobs are sexy and beautiful to me and my husband. In fact I worry that they will be less so when I quit nursing and they deflate. I also feel like nursing is a great weight loss strategy.

I am very much in charge of the nursing relationship. I'm delighted at my toddlers blossoming independence. She's a confident, happy, verbal, funny and nearly potty trained girl. She also drinks from a cup most of the time.

Another piece of the revulsion: I'm too am turned off my parents who can't take charge of their children or enforce clear limits, something I see sometimes with worn out moms nursing 3 year olds in public, but I don't think nursing mom's have a corner on that market!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
first PP here
no self-loathing

My breasts are indeed ugly, but my body is in better shape now that it was during my college years b/c of exercise and eating right. But when a child is latched onto the boob - even if it's twice a day - that cuts into MY time to exercise, to get ready for work, to have a drink at night, etc. And I don't want my 2 yo son to be chasing after me, asking for some "titay."

So it was time to stop.

FWIW, my husband never says anything negative about my 40-something body - only positive things. And I'm quite comfortable in my skin, in a tank, in a two-piece bathing suit, you name it.

So self-loathing was not part of the picture. I simply believe that in order to develop some healthy boundaries - and to encourage independence - a cup of milk with a straw is a big help!

These are my beliefs, and both of my children are just fine.

Wow... there's the answer. You're so self absorbed you'd choose yourself over the well-being of your child.

Bottom line, I'm not sure why some people are so concerned/bothered/angered by the choices of BF'ing mom's, when their decision to BF an extended amount of time in no way impacts them!