Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

OP left the engine running.

No excuse for that.

[Anonymous]

My sister has to attend homicide scenes as part of her job and she said the very worst one was a toddler left in a car. This is someone who has been to multiple shooting and stabbing scenes, this one was bad enough she called me sobbing. We can argue circumstances but based on her description of that scene plus that Post article on kid's who died in hot cars, I'm never sneezing in that direction.

[Anonymous]

You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

I would have put that security guard in his place. Why didn’t you rip off his balls and shove them down his throat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maryland Family Law §5-801 states that it is a CRIME to leave a child younger than 8 years old unattended, locked or confined to a home, car, building or other enclosure without proper supervision.

In DC, guidelines state that a child under 10 should be left unattended in a car or home, etc.
DC Official Code §16-2301(9) (A) (ii)

For Virginia:
SB 1466 Unattended children in motor vehicles; penalty -
Provides that any person responsible for the care of a child who leaves an unattended child in a motor vehicle where (i) the child's health, safety, and well-being are at risk or (ii) the vehicle's engine is on or running is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. The bill authorizes any law-enforcement officer who observes or is alerted to the existence of an unattended child to use whatever means are reasonably necessary to protect the child and defines "unattended child" as a child four years of age or younger who has been left in a motor vehicle by the person responsible for his care when such person is unable to continuously observe the child, unless a person 12 years of age or older is physically present in the motor vehicle with the child.

Nanny states, the lot of them. What completely idiotic laws.

[Anonymous]

Do not leave a 7 year old in a running car. That is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

[Anonymous]

Very risky. Should have taken DC, turned off car and locked the car whilst gone. Safety first please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

Do we know that OP is a woman? I assumed male, but I see what you're saying, and now I'm curious...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s remember there’s not some magical thing that happens upon midnight on a child’s 8th birthday. They are not sprinkled with fairy dust and determined to be safe at that time.

I mean, the magical thing that happens is they can legally be left alone. It’s sort of like the magic about drinking when you turn 21.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s remember there’s not some magical thing that happens upon midnight on a child’s 8th birthday. They are not sprinkled with fairy dust and determined to be safe at that time.

I mean, the magical thing that happens is they can legally be left alone. It’s sort of like the magic about drinking when you turn 21.

Right. So some of us actually get be our kid's alcohol before they turn 21, even though it's illegal, specifically because we want to teach them about alcohol and how to create name it responsibly before they are 21 yr old college kids.

Like some of us want to be able to guide and prepare our kids for increasing levels of independence and responsibility. Leave them in a car alone for 3 minutes in a pharmacy parking lot with a security guard in a safe neighborhood while I run inside. Give a 17 yr old a half glass of wine with dinner on vacation so they can learn how alcohol impacts them in a safe environment. These laws don't help you actually raise kids. A drinking and of 21 is idiotic and we all know it-- kids legally can't drink until they've been adults for 3 years? What? A 7 year old can't wait in outside in a car fir a few minutes? These are nonsensical provisions for good patents because obviously part of parenting is slowly introducing your child to greater levels of independence and responsibility. You have to TEACH kids how to be in the world. They don't magically gain this knowledge on their birthday.

[Anonymous]

^ ugh, typos. On my phone. You get the gist.

[Anonymous]

A family member is law enforcement who worked a case where a car with a child in it alone was stolen. It was in front of a Subway where the parents could see the car the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

“She would not have left the car running…”

OP left the car running. OP created an unnecessary risk to her child and others.

OP is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

This is your problem. Kids don't get a choice in matters of safety. Would you tempt your kid to wear his seatbelt? Do you have to tempt him to not run into the road? No. It's just a straightforward "there's no negotiation, you're doing it, I don't care if you throw a fit".

Kids should have choices in life but safety isn't one of them.