Little League and parent arrogance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glorified babysitter for a baseball or softball little kid team is NOT going to teach your kid how to hit, or throw the ball, or catch the ball. You need to do that. Yep - you. Don’t know how? Figure it out. Plenty of instruction on YouTube. Or, hire someone to do it for you.

Figure it takes 100 hours of practice on each of those skills to get decently competent for a kid who has average athletic ability and pays attention. A coach with say 12 kids on a team and 4-5 preseason practices is NOT going to do anything to make an individual kid “better”.


The practices are for is to figure out the skill level of the kids. Knowing that, I can make up a lineup and get kids into positions where they are less likely to get hurt. No - if your kid sucks - he/she is not going to pitch, or play first base. Depending on who is pitching, I can put a kid who sucks at 2nd or SS or 3rd. Most teams will have 1 “good” pitcher. If kids hit the ball it is more likely to be on a late swing so I need a decent fielder at 2nd base. That means kids who are not very good can play SS. 3rd is pretty much always for weak players. I could put the best fielder with a decent arm at 3rd and they still will be unlikely to get an out on a ground ball.

When a weaker pitcher is in - batters at the top 1/3 of the order will be less likely to swing late so now I need a better fielder at SS. Outfield I always need a decent center fielder to chase down balls the right fielder and left fielder miss. Faster pitcher - right fielder has to be better. Slower pitcher - left fielder. But, still dependent on batting order.


It’s fine if your kid sucks. As long as he/she tries and is reasonably happy to be playing it’s cool. The only thing parents did that really ticked me off when coaching is be late, or a no show, and not tell me. I cured that after a couple years. Email - if you’re late and don’t let me know, or if your kid is a no show without letting me know. You are making the lineup for that game or next game if no show.

Try it. 12 kids - get them in positions they can play. Outfield/infield. Now pull out one kid. Re-adjust everything in 15 minutes.

Yes the coaches kid gets some benefits. But, they also get the fun of racking up puddles on the field 3 hours before the game. And, picking up trash before and after the game, and laying the bases, and getting the equipment ready. Always fun going under the stands to grab the dirty diaper and candy wrappers. Want your kid to have those benefits? Volunteer.

FIFY

So pathetic for a grown adult to blame little kids because he thinks coaching a little kid’s team is basically picking players in a fantasy league and moving them around the field to show off how well he strategizes.

I’m so thankful my son has only had two coaches like you in all his years of rec and travel sports.

The “glorified babysitter” part came on a bit strong, but did you read the rest of his post? He’s not saying that he doesn’t try to teach the kids things at practice, but that it takes more time than is available during a little league season. He’s also explaining how he moves kids around the infield and outfield to let kids play different positions while also being strategic about it. Many of the things he described a parent wouldn’t pick up on unless they know the game. They just see that Larlo’s getting a chance in the infield. I’ve seen it done well sometimes during my son’s LL years. After the game, the “worst” kid is excited that he played LF and 3rd even though he didn’t touch the ball.

I’m the PP of the softball player who’s not getting much of a chance to pitch because the coach is putting everyone in even if they’re not interested or ready. I’d much rather have this guy coach my kid. The games would be more fun for everyone and she’d learn something.

I think maybe YOU didn’t read his post. He explicitly said that practices were for him to *assess* the skill level of the kids, but that the kids on his team will only *learn* skills through parents and youtube…

If you read the parent of the kid who might play D1 above, it seems like showcase teams work this way. It is insane to me that some coaches try and take that attitude to rec. Where, exactly, do they expect 7 year olds will learn anything if not at practice? Even if you expect parents to practice with their kids, they have to learn the drills to practice from, you know, practice.

Right? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We’re talking about little kids here - what the heck is there to assess? God forbid you don’t have a “decent” fielder at 2nd base and some 8 year old on the opposing team makes it all the way to first base…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glorified babysitter for a baseball or softball little kid team is NOT going to teach your kid how to hit, or throw the ball, or catch the ball. You need to do that. Yep - you. Don’t know how? Figure it out. Plenty of instruction on YouTube. Or, hire someone to do it for you.

Figure it takes 100 hours of practice on each of those skills to get decently competent for a kid who has average athletic ability and pays attention. A coach with say 12 kids on a team and 4-5 preseason practices is NOT going to do anything to make an individual kid “better”.


The practices are for is to figure out the skill level of the kids. Knowing that, I can make up a lineup and get kids into positions where they are less likely to get hurt. No - if your kid sucks - he/she is not going to pitch, or play first base. Depending on who is pitching, I can put a kid who sucks at 2nd or SS or 3rd. Most teams will have 1 “good” pitcher. If kids hit the ball it is more likely to be on a late swing so I need a decent fielder at 2nd base. That means kids who are not very good can play SS. 3rd is pretty much always for weak players. I could put the best fielder with a decent arm at 3rd and they still will be unlikely to get an out on a ground ball.

When a weaker pitcher is in - batters at the top 1/3 of the order will be less likely to swing late so now I need a better fielder at SS. Outfield I always need a decent center fielder to chase down balls the right fielder and left fielder miss. Faster pitcher - right fielder has to be better. Slower pitcher - left fielder. But, still dependent on batting order.


It’s fine if your kid sucks. As long as he/she tries and is reasonably happy to be playing it’s cool. The only thing parents did that really ticked me off when coaching is be late, or a no show, and not tell me. I cured that after a couple years. Email - if you’re late and don’t let me know, or if your kid is a no show without letting me know. You are making the lineup for that game or next game if no show.

Try it. 12 kids - get them in positions they can play. Outfield/infield. Now pull out one kid. Re-adjust everything in 15 minutes.

Yes the coaches kid gets some benefits. But, they also get the fun of racking up puddles on the field 3 hours before the game. And, picking up trash before and after the game, and laying the bases, and getting the equipment ready. Always fun going under the stands to grab the dirty diaper and candy wrappers. Want your kid to have those benefits? Volunteer.

FIFY

So pathetic for a grown adult to blame little kids because he thinks coaching a little kid’s team is basically picking players in a fantasy league and moving them around the field to show off how well he strategizes.

I’m so thankful my son has only had two coaches like you in all his years of rec and travel sports.

The “glorified babysitter” part came on a bit strong, but did you read the rest of his post? He’s not saying that he doesn’t try to teach the kids things at practice, but that it takes more time than is available during a little league season. He’s also explaining how he moves kids around the infield and outfield to let kids play different positions while also being strategic about it. Many of the things he described a parent wouldn’t pick up on unless they know the game. They just see that Larlo’s getting a chance in the infield. I’ve seen it done well sometimes during my son’s LL years. After the game, the “worst” kid is excited that he played LF and 3rd even though he didn’t touch the ball.

I’m the PP of the softball player who’s not getting much of a chance to pitch because the coach is putting everyone in even if they’re not interested or ready. I’d much rather have this guy coach my kid. The games would be more fun for everyone and she’d learn something.

I think maybe YOU didn’t read his post. He explicitly said that practices were for him to *assess* the skill level of the kids, but that the kids on his team will only *learn* skills through parents and youtube…

If you read the parent of the kid who might play D1 above, it seems like showcase teams work this way. It is insane to me that some coaches try and take that attitude to rec. Where, exactly, do they expect 7 year olds will learn anything if not at practice? Even if you expect parents to practice with their kids, they have to learn the drills to practice from, you know, practice.

Right? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We’re talking about little kids here - what the heck is there to assess? God forbid you don’t have a “decent” fielder at 2nd base and some 8 year old on the opposing team makes it all the way to first base…

PP, though to be fair with situations like the softball pitcher above there is some breakdown. At some point kids/parents do need to practice outside of practice, especially if they want plenty of playing time at prime positions. But to expect kids only to learn outside of practice in Little League or rec ball at really any level of those? Crazy talk. At least go over the drills in practice so the kids can take them home.

[Anonymous]

I have been following this long forum discussion. I currently coach my DS’s NOVA LL team and don’t think I have run into any of the issues but have seen some annoying parents and coaches. The one thing I would tell parents and kids to do is watch either baseball or softball on tv or in person. Watch a Nats game and explain the game or an inning of a game on tv. Go to your local high school and watch a game there. Kids remember the smallest things and will appreciate the time spending it with you and watching a game. The second thing is spend some time either hitting or throwing with your kid. They will remember that more than probably and anything else and if they ask you to play catch or hit take them up on it. Most people are really not that busy they can’t do anything with their own kid. Have them hit off a tee or play soft toss. If they don’t love baseball then they don’t love it. Kids will have their own interests and no matter how much you want them to do something that will not always be the case.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it’s just bad luck. My older son did not have good coaches for kindergarten soccer, pandemic happened and he never played again. My younger son lucked out and loves soccer - and is gaining skills.

My older son found other sports and activities. There were 2 teams from our elementary that year and most of the kids on the other team still play soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago when my son was 8, he played Little League (Vienna) and had the misfortune of being on teams two seasons in a row where the dads/coaches really thought their sons were headed for the big leagues. The coaches barely played the lesser skilled kids (my son was in this group) and ignored all but a handful of players. The boys are all in high school now and the kids who were going to be Cal Ripken aren’t even playing baseball (or any sport, for some of them) anymore. I occasionally wonder if the dads ever think back on how they coached those teams and regret being so myopic. Just wishful thinking on my part?

When my son was 5 and we were signing him up for Little League T-Ball my brother who had kids in Little League warned us- don't sign him up unless you can be at least an assistant coach. Turned out to be excellent advice. I ended up volunteering for the Board and DH was an assistant coach for both our boys so they played the best positions, got tons of time pitching and catching, and batted at the top of the line up, played in all stars up until 10U. One son stopped playing baseball after that and the other one didn't want to take it so seriously after that and stopped playing at 13.

Absolutely no regret from the coaches. DH hung out with his coach friends. Kids are in high school and half of their kids no longer play baseball. They were talking about how they all had a good time and were glad their kids had the opportunity to play whatever position they wanted. The best kids who didn't have dads coaching really did get a lot of playing time as well.

Your son was "less skilled". Did you play catch with him, take him to the batting cages, get a batting coach? So much about life is who you know and your connections or you have to work twice as hard. Why would Little League be any different?

And people wonder why LL is declining in numbers….at least this poster’s DH and his friends openly admit it. So gross.

This is more or less how our LL was run also. No sour grapes as my DSs always made the all star teams (both pitched well at those ages) but many of their deserving friends did not, over the years.

Doesn’t end up mattering in the end (most of the dadball kids are not still playing in high school anyway) but it is truly sad that little league is this way. It is one of the reasons kid move to club ball- same issues there but at least kids are free to move to a different team if there are problems. It is also one of the reasons kids drop the sport- being parked in RF for 2 innings a game while the coaches’ kids play the more exciting roles has to be so boring at that age.

The question OP asked: I occasionally wonder if the dads ever think back on how they coached those teams and regret being so myopic. Just wishful thinking on my part?
And the answer is: Of course not. What parent coach is going to look sit around looking back at what happened 6-8 years ago with regret and think, " I should have played that kids who wasn't very good more".

It is a big sacrifice for most parents to coach. My husband is a teacher and there were a lot of days he did not look forward to spending all day with junior high school students, hustling away from work, then spending more time supervising rowdy kids in the late afternoon/evenings. So why is it gross? It is laughable that if he has regrets it is going to be over the kids who played RF. The vast majority of the bench/right fielders had parents who couldn't even be bothered to ever play catch with them or take them to the batting cage or merely watch a few games of baseball so they knew how baseball was played.

The sad thing is, so much of the time, how would you even know the kid who played RF wasn't any good? My kid was one of those kids; his dad couldn't be bothered, not the kid's fault, but I, mom, played catch with him in the backyard long after it became dangerous for me to do so, and I got him lessons to make up for the rest. He could pitch, hit, and catch. He never got the chance to pitch/catch in Little League.

But he stuck with it; each year, he got stronger, bigger, faster, and as it turned out, all the LL kids (coach dads) who were pitching/catching eventually threw their arms out. I remember remarking in AAA: how exactly are the physics working here? This kid is tiny; how exactly are they generating the power to whip the ball across the plate like that? Apparently, permanent injury to a throwing arm can happen when your kid weighs 60 lbs.

Still, you insist that they throw heaters... because they are going to make All-Stars no matter what, and sometimes they do... because you are the coach of that too.. but so many of these kids don't want to play anymore, they can do the math, but they don't say anything to you. But they do tell their teammates because, after a while, it's embarrassing; they know they aren't that good, and their arm hurts, so they tell their friends they don't even like baseball and they are only playing because of their dad; maybe to save face?

And they would rather play x sport instead. Sometimes, you can watch it all implode in real-time. No dad can make his kid pitch a strike or bat a ball if he doesn't want to play anymore. That's when it really gets ugly, daddy ball is okay as long as no one notices that your kid kind of sucks. It doesn't matter that he used to be kind of good, he doesn't want to be there now, and he sucks. And the kid doesn't smile anymore, and he doesn't laugh. He's a nice kid and that's sad because kids should be happy.

So when they quit sports entirely, rebel, and tell all of their friends that they think you are a jerk. What was it all for? Was it worth it?

As for my DC, all those years of staying humble, having no choice but to do anything when you are playing league minimum, and showing up to practice but riding the bench during games paid off. They ended up working harder and seizing opportunity when it presented itself in multiple sports and not just baseball; they learned very early that they had to work 3 times harder. Otherwise, they might have tried to coast on natural talent. So when the people who mattered were watching, they made an impression. LL sucked, but there are sports after LL; who cares if the dads regret it? It is not your concern. Also, real karma isn't in how they feel about how they treated your kid, to whom they owe nothing and thus should expect nothing in return; it's in how they damaged their relationship with their own kids.

Singed former LL parent.

[Anonymous]

I doubt the dads have any regrets. They controlled for what they could to advantage their kids…

There will be hurdles along the way to make it to high school Varsity (if that is the goal, for example) in any organized team sport. Hurdles that are not related to a kid’s skills, desire, or work ethic. Generally

1) <12 “the daddyball years”
2) 12-15 “the puberty race”
3) 16+ “accepting physical limitations”

In baseball, kids fall off at all of the above stages. The stage one daddyball stuff mostly doesn’t matter. Kids can still play on a team (rec at least) and get in game reps- the defensive position or where they bat in the order really does not matter . Stage 2 puberty time really shakes things up- some kids mature/grow quickly and their stock rises dramatically, others lag behind in maturity and start to struggle and fall behind. Stage 3 most kids are well into puberty and can get some idea of their physical makeup. Many don’t end up having the foot speed, arm strength, size or athleticism they had hoped for. It doesn’t mean they can’t still play and contribute- heck some of these might even still get college offers - but their role will likely be different than they’d hoped. You can improve it, but you really can’t buy certain physical tools/attributes.

It isn’t surprising that dads try hard to advantage their kids in sports right out of the gate (they do a lot of good for other kids in the process along the way)- and without parent volunteers, there would be no youth sports. But the advantages end with youth sports. My advice is to let your kid have fun and play (never mention any real or perceived unfairness to him!), and work on some skills at home. Maybe some camps and lessons if he wants to, and it fits the budget. Being disfavored or ignored by youth dad coaches doesn’t mean a THING about a kid’s future in sports- truly.

-Just a mom who has watched several age groups of kids grow up and play sports- a lot of baseball/softball in particular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glorified babysitter for a baseball or softball little kid team is NOT going to teach your kid how to hit, or throw the ball, or catch the ball. You need to do that. Yep - you. Don’t know how? Figure it out. Plenty of instruction on YouTube. Or, hire someone to do it for you.

Figure it takes 100 hours of practice on each of those skills to get decently competent for a kid who has average athletic ability and pays attention. A coach with say 12 kids on a team and 4-5 preseason practices is NOT going to do anything to make an individual kid “better”.


The practices are for is to figure out the skill level of the kids. Knowing that, I can make up a lineup and get kids into positions where they are less likely to get hurt. No - if your kid sucks - he/she is not going to pitch, or play first base. Depending on who is pitching, I can put a kid who sucks at 2nd or SS or 3rd. Most teams will have 1 “good” pitcher. If kids hit the ball it is more likely to be on a late swing so I need a decent fielder at 2nd base. That means kids who are not very good can play SS. 3rd is pretty much always for weak players. I could put the best fielder with a decent arm at 3rd and they still will be unlikely to get an out on a ground ball.

When a weaker pitcher is in - batters at the top 1/3 of the order will be less likely to swing late so now I need a better fielder at SS. Outfield I always need a decent center fielder to chase down balls the right fielder and left fielder miss. Faster pitcher - right fielder has to be better. Slower pitcher - left fielder. But, still dependent on batting order.


It’s fine if your kid sucks. As long as he/she tries and is reasonably happy to be playing it’s cool. The only thing parents did that really ticked me off when coaching is be late, or a no show, and not tell me. I cured that after a couple years. Email - if you’re late and don’t let me know, or if your kid is a no show without letting me know. You are making the lineup for that game or next game if no show.

Try it. 12 kids - get them in positions they can play. Outfield/infield. Now pull out one kid. Re-adjust everything in 15 minutes.

Yes the coaches kid gets some benefits. But, they also get the fun of racking up puddles on the field 3 hours before the game. And, picking up trash before and after the game, and laying the bases, and getting the equipment ready. Always fun going under the stands to grab the dirty diaper and candy wrappers. Want your kid to have those benefits? Volunteer.

FIFY

So pathetic for a grown adult to blame little kids because he thinks coaching a little kid’s team is basically picking players in a fantasy league and moving them around the field to show off how well he strategizes.

I’m so thankful my son has only had two coaches like you in all his years of rec and travel sports.

The “glorified babysitter” part came on a bit strong, but did you read the rest of his post? He’s not saying that he doesn’t try to teach the kids things at practice, but that it takes more time than is available during a little league season. He’s also explaining how he moves kids around the infield and outfield to let kids play different positions while also being strategic about it. Many of the things he described a parent wouldn’t pick up on unless they know the game. They just see that Larlo’s getting a chance in the infield. I’ve seen it done well sometimes during my son’s LL years. After the game, the “worst” kid is excited that he played LF and 3rd even though he didn’t touch the ball.

I’m the PP of the softball player who’s not getting much of a chance to pitch because the coach is putting everyone in even if they’re not interested or ready. I’d much rather have this guy coach my kid. The games would be more fun for everyone and she’d learn something.

I think maybe YOU didn’t read his post. He explicitly said that practices were for him to *assess* the skill level of the kids, but that the kids on his team will only *learn* skills through parents and youtube…

If you read the parent of the kid who might play D1 above, it seems like showcase teams work this way. It is insane to me that some coaches try and take that attitude to rec. Where, exactly, do they expect 7 year olds will learn anything if not at practice? Even if you expect parents to practice with their kids, they have to learn the drills to practice from, you know, practice.

Right? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We’re talking about little kids here - what the heck is there to assess? God forbid you don’t have a “decent” fielder at 2nd base and some 8 year old on the opposing team makes it all the way to first base…

My understanding is that assessments are to enable coaches to place kids on teams where they have the best opportunity to grow and learn from teammates and coaches. Additionally, also for safety, if you put uneven skill sets on same team, a kid could get hurt. Volunteers put a large amount of time into the teams and players in our LL. Outside their regular day job. A little bit of grace, and a good dialogue with the coaches, hopefully, can help you understand the hows and whys. Our team was not about competing, but to teach the girls how to play together as a team and learn the sport. My kid is happy, so we leave it to the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glorified babysitter for a baseball or softball little kid team is NOT going to teach your kid how to hit, or throw the ball, or catch the ball. You need to do that. Yep - you. Don’t know how? Figure it out. Plenty of instruction on YouTube. Or, hire someone to do it for you.

Figure it takes 100 hours of practice on each of those skills to get decently competent for a kid who has average athletic ability and pays attention. A coach with say 12 kids on a team and 4-5 preseason practices is NOT going to do anything to make an individual kid “better”.


The practices are for is to figure out the skill level of the kids. Knowing that, I can make up a lineup and get kids into positions where they are less likely to get hurt. No - if your kid sucks - he/she is not going to pitch, or play first base. Depending on who is pitching, I can put a kid who sucks at 2nd or SS or 3rd. Most teams will have 1 “good” pitcher. If kids hit the ball it is more likely to be on a late swing so I need a decent fielder at 2nd base. That means kids who are not very good can play SS. 3rd is pretty much always for weak players. I could put the best fielder with a decent arm at 3rd and they still will be unlikely to get an out on a ground ball.

When a weaker pitcher is in - batters at the top 1/3 of the order will be less likely to swing late so now I need a better fielder at SS. Outfield I always need a decent center fielder to chase down balls the right fielder and left fielder miss. Faster pitcher - right fielder has to be better. Slower pitcher - left fielder. But, still dependent on batting order.


It’s fine if your kid sucks. As long as he/she tries and is reasonably happy to be playing it’s cool. The only thing parents did that really ticked me off when coaching is be late, or a no show, and not tell me. I cured that after a couple years. Email - if you’re late and don’t let me know, or if your kid is a no show without letting me know. You are making the lineup for that game or next game if no show.

Try it. 12 kids - get them in positions they can play. Outfield/infield. Now pull out one kid. Re-adjust everything in 15 minutes.

Yes the coaches kid gets some benefits. But, they also get the fun of racking up puddles on the field 3 hours before the game. And, picking up trash before and after the game, and laying the bases, and getting the equipment ready. Always fun going under the stands to grab the dirty diaper and candy wrappers. Want your kid to have those benefits? Volunteer.

FIFY

So pathetic for a grown adult to blame little kids because he thinks coaching a little kid’s team is basically picking players in a fantasy league and moving them around the field to show off how well he strategizes.

I’m so thankful my son has only had two coaches like you in all his years of rec and travel sports.

The “glorified babysitter” part came on a bit strong, but did you read the rest of his post? He’s not saying that he doesn’t try to teach the kids things at practice, but that it takes more time than is available during a little league season. He’s also explaining how he moves kids around the infield and outfield to let kids play different positions while also being strategic about it. Many of the things he described a parent wouldn’t pick up on unless they know the game. They just see that Larlo’s getting a chance in the infield. I’ve seen it done well sometimes during my son’s LL years. After the game, the “worst” kid is excited that he played LF and 3rd even though he didn’t touch the ball.

I’m the PP of the softball player who’s not getting much of a chance to pitch because the coach is putting everyone in even if they’re not interested or ready. I’d much rather have this guy coach my kid. The games would be more fun for everyone and she’d learn something.

I think maybe YOU didn’t read his post. He explicitly said that practices were for him to *assess* the skill level of the kids, but that the kids on his team will only *learn* skills through parents and youtube…

If you read the parent of the kid who might play D1 above, it seems like showcase teams work this way. It is insane to me that some coaches try and take that attitude to rec. Where, exactly, do they expect 7 year olds will learn anything if not at practice? Even if you expect parents to practice with their kids, they have to learn the drills to practice from, you know, practice.

Right? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We’re talking about little kids here - what the heck is there to assess? God forbid you don’t have a “decent” fielder at 2nd base and some 8 year old on the opposing team makes it all the way to first base…

My understanding is that assessments are to enable coaches to place kids on teams where they have the best opportunity to grow and learn from teammates and coaches. Additionally, also for safety, if you put uneven skill sets on same team, a kid could get hurt. Volunteers put a large amount of time into the teams and players in our LL. Outside their regular day job. A little bit of grace, and a good dialogue with the coaches, hopefully, can help you understand the hows and whys. Our team was not about competing, but to teach the girls how to play together as a team and learn the sport. My kid is happy, so we leave it to the coach.

The poster doing assessments was not referring to picking teams, but rather the intellectually arduous task of assigning fielding positions to second graders for each game. A task so time consuming and mentally taxing that the mere suggestion that he should ALSO try to teach the kids to throw, catch, and/or hit the ball is anathema.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glorified babysitter for a baseball or softball little kid team is NOT going to teach your kid how to hit, or throw the ball, or catch the ball. You need to do that. Yep - you. Don’t know how? Figure it out. Plenty of instruction on YouTube. Or, hire someone to do it for you.

Figure it takes 100 hours of practice on each of those skills to get decently competent for a kid who has average athletic ability and pays attention. A coach with say 12 kids on a team and 4-5 preseason practices is NOT going to do anything to make an individual kid “better”.


The practices are for is to figure out the skill level of the kids. Knowing that, I can make up a lineup and get kids into positions where they are less likely to get hurt. No - if your kid sucks - he/she is not going to pitch, or play first base. Depending on who is pitching, I can put a kid who sucks at 2nd or SS or 3rd. Most teams will have 1 “good” pitcher. If kids hit the ball it is more likely to be on a late swing so I need a decent fielder at 2nd base. That means kids who are not very good can play SS. 3rd is pretty much always for weak players. I could put the best fielder with a decent arm at 3rd and they still will be unlikely to get an out on a ground ball.

When a weaker pitcher is in - batters at the top 1/3 of the order will be less likely to swing late so now I need a better fielder at SS. Outfield I always need a decent center fielder to chase down balls the right fielder and left fielder miss. Faster pitcher - right fielder has to be better. Slower pitcher - left fielder. But, still dependent on batting order.


It’s fine if your kid sucks. As long as he/she tries and is reasonably happy to be playing it’s cool. The only thing parents did that really ticked me off when coaching is be late, or a no show, and not tell me. I cured that after a couple years. Email - if you’re late and don’t let me know, or if your kid is a no show without letting me know. You are making the lineup for that game or next game if no show.

Try it. 12 kids - get them in positions they can play. Outfield/infield. Now pull out one kid. Re-adjust everything in 15 minutes.

Yes the coaches kid gets some benefits. But, they also get the fun of racking up puddles on the field 3 hours before the game. And, picking up trash before and after the game, and laying the bases, and getting the equipment ready. Always fun going under the stands to grab the dirty diaper and candy wrappers. Want your kid to have those benefits? Volunteer.

FIFY

So pathetic for a grown adult to blame little kids because he thinks coaching a little kid’s team is basically picking players in a fantasy league and moving them around the field to show off how well he strategizes.

I’m so thankful my son has only had two coaches like you in all his years of rec and travel sports.

The “glorified babysitter” part came on a bit strong, but did you read the rest of his post? He’s not saying that he doesn’t try to teach the kids things at practice, but that it takes more time than is available during a little league season. He’s also explaining how he moves kids around the infield and outfield to let kids play different positions while also being strategic about it. Many of the things he described a parent wouldn’t pick up on unless they know the game. They just see that Larlo’s getting a chance in the infield. I’ve seen it done well sometimes during my son’s LL years. After the game, the “worst” kid is excited that he played LF and 3rd even though he didn’t touch the ball.

I’m the PP of the softball player who’s not getting much of a chance to pitch because the coach is putting everyone in even if they’re not interested or ready. I’d much rather have this guy coach my kid. The games would be more fun for everyone and she’d learn something.

I think maybe YOU didn’t read his post. He explicitly said that practices were for him to *assess* the skill level of the kids, but that the kids on his team will only *learn* skills through parents and youtube…

If you read the parent of the kid who might play D1 above, it seems like showcase teams work this way. It is insane to me that some coaches try and take that attitude to rec. Where, exactly, do they expect 7 year olds will learn anything if not at practice? Even if you expect parents to practice with their kids, they have to learn the drills to practice from, you know, practice.

Right? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. We’re talking about little kids here - what the heck is there to assess? God forbid you don’t have a “decent” fielder at 2nd base and some 8 year old on the opposing team makes it all the way to first base…

My understanding is that assessments are to enable coaches to place kids on teams where they have the best opportunity to grow and learn from teammates and coaches. Additionally, also for safety, if you put uneven skill sets on same team, a kid could get hurt. Volunteers put a large amount of time into the teams and players in our LL. Outside their regular day job. A little bit of grace, and a good dialogue with the coaches, hopefully, can help you understand the hows and whys. Our team was not about competing, but to teach the girls how to play together as a team and learn the sport. My kid is happy, so we leave it to the coach.

The poster doing assessments was not referring to picking teams, but rather the intellectually arduous task of assigning fielding positions to second graders for each game. A task so time consuming and mentally taxing that the mere suggestion that he should ALSO try to teach the kids to throw, catch, and/or hit the ball is anathema.

The best part about "assessing for fielding positions" in LL/rec is that even kids who have been playing for years (even MLB draftees, for that matter) change over time, even the course of one season. The newbie who had raw athleticism but no knowledge of the game might decide he loves it and pay close attention and learn how to make all the plays and have been an awesome 1B by the end of the season, but if the coach never tries or teaches the coach will never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt the dads have any regrets. They controlled for what they could to advantage their kids…

There will be hurdles along the way to make it to high school Varsity (if that is the goal, for example) in any organized team sport. Hurdles that are not related to a kid’s skills, desire, or work ethic. Generally

1) <12 “the daddyball years”
2) 12-15 “the puberty race”
3) 16+ “accepting physical limitations”

In baseball, kids fall off at all of the above stages. The stage one daddyball stuff mostly doesn’t matter. Kids can still play on a team (rec at least) and get in game reps- the defensive position or where they bat in the order really does not matter . Stage 2 puberty time really shakes things up- some kids mature/grow quickly and their stock rises dramatically, others lag behind in maturity and start to struggle and fall behind. Stage 3 most kids are well into puberty and can get some idea of their physical makeup. Many don’t end up having the foot speed, arm strength, size or athleticism they had hoped for. It doesn’t mean they can’t still play and contribute- heck some of these might even still get college offers - but their role will likely be different than they’d hoped. You can improve it, but you really can’t buy certain physical tools/attributes.

It isn’t surprising that dads try hard to advantage their kids in sports right out of the gate (they do a lot of good for other kids in the process along the way)- and without parent volunteers, there would be no youth sports. But the advantages end with youth sports. My advice is to let your kid have fun and play (never mention any real or perceived unfairness to him!), and work on some skills at home. Maybe some camps and lessons if he wants to, and it fits the budget. Being disfavored or ignored by youth dad coaches doesn’t mean a THING about a kid’s future in sports- truly.

-Just a mom who has watched several age groups of kids grow up and play sports- a lot of baseball/softball in particular.

Stage 2 can be cruel to talented, late bloomers. The kids move up to the 90ft field and start using BBCOR bats. The hits will dry up for the small kids. The late bloomers have to out work the big boys in this stage and create value until they get their growth spurt. This is the time to work on speed, bunt skills, and bat to ball skills. Live in the cage so that you are the toughest out on the team and drive up opposing pitch counts. This was my kid. He was passed over by many travel coaches in middle school for being only 100lbs in 8th, but is now the top hitter on his WCAC team. Trust the process.

[Anonymous]

Lots of butt hurt former coaches in here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt the dads have any regrets. They controlled for what they could to advantage their kids…

There will be hurdles along the way to make it to high school Varsity (if that is the goal, for example) in any organized team sport. Hurdles that are not related to a kid’s skills, desire, or work ethic. Generally

1) <12 “the daddyball years”
2) 12-15 “the puberty race”
3) 16+ “accepting physical limitations”

In baseball, kids fall off at all of the above stages. The stage one daddyball stuff mostly doesn’t matter. Kids can still play on a team (rec at least) and get in game reps- the defensive position or where they bat in the order really does not matter . Stage 2 puberty time really shakes things up- some kids mature/grow quickly and their stock rises dramatically, others lag behind in maturity and start to struggle and fall behind. Stage 3 most kids are well into puberty and can get some idea of their physical makeup. Many don’t end up having the foot speed, arm strength, size or athleticism they had hoped for. It doesn’t mean they can’t still play and contribute- heck some of these might even still get college offers - but their role will likely be different than they’d hoped. You can improve it, but you really can’t buy certain physical tools/attributes.

It isn’t surprising that dads try hard to advantage their kids in sports right out of the gate (they do a lot of good for other kids in the process along the way)- and without parent volunteers, there would be no youth sports. But the advantages end with youth sports. My advice is to let your kid have fun and play (never mention any real or perceived unfairness to him!), and work on some skills at home. Maybe some camps and lessons if he wants to, and it fits the budget. Being disfavored or ignored by youth dad coaches doesn’t mean a THING about a kid’s future in sports- truly.

-Just a mom who has watched several age groups of kids grow up and play sports- a lot of baseball/softball in particular.

Stage 2 can be cruel to talented, late bloomers. The kids move up to the 90ft field and start using BBCOR bats. The hits will dry up for the small kids. The late bloomers have to out work the big boys in this stage and create value until they get their growth spurt. This is the time to work on speed, bunt skills, and bat to ball skills. Live in the cage so that you are the toughest out on the team and drive up opposing pitch counts. This was my kid. He was passed over by many travel coaches in middle school for being only 100lbs in 8th, but is now the top hitter on his WCAC team. Trust the process.

This was an excellent description of the baseball years as we’ve experienced them. My son’s a 90 pound 5’2 8th grader. His Dad is 6’2, so his growth is coming. He has repeatedly been cut by multiple travel teams and is struggling at the bat. We’re encouraging him to keep playing rec and practicing, but I’m not sure the drive is there anymore. It’s sad to see as he loves baseball, had decent success in the “daddy ball years” (even without his Dad as the coach), but rec ends this year and he may not make the JV HS team.

It’s also frustrating to him that some early bloomers have switched to baseball and catch the coaches eye because they’re big and if they make contact, hit the ball far. But they don’t know the game. Meanwhile, some of the biggest beneficiaries of “daddy ball” have quit because they’re tired of Dad or Dad’s not able to control things anymore.

We try to stay positive about baseball while encouraging playing other sports that better fit his size. He’s a good tennis player and could make varsity as a freshman, but it doesn’t have the allure of baseball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt the dads have any regrets. They controlled for what they could to advantage their kids…

There will be hurdles along the way to make it to high school Varsity (if that is the goal, for example) in any organized team sport. Hurdles that are not related to a kid’s skills, desire, or work ethic. Generally

1) <12 “the daddyball years”
2) 12-15 “the puberty race”
3) 16+ “accepting physical limitations”

In baseball, kids fall off at all of the above stages. The stage one daddyball stuff mostly doesn’t matter. Kids can still play on a team (rec at least) and get in game reps- the defensive position or where they bat in the order really does not matter . Stage 2 puberty time really shakes things up- some kids mature/grow quickly and their stock rises dramatically, others lag behind in maturity and start to struggle and fall behind. Stage 3 most kids are well into puberty and can get some idea of their physical makeup. Many don’t end up having the foot speed, arm strength, size or athleticism they had hoped for. It doesn’t mean they can’t still play and contribute- heck some of these might even still get college offers - but their role will likely be different than they’d hoped. You can improve it, but you really can’t buy certain physical tools/attributes.

It isn’t surprising that dads try hard to advantage their kids in sports right out of the gate (they do a lot of good for other kids in the process along the way)- and without parent volunteers, there would be no youth sports. But the advantages end with youth sports. My advice is to let your kid have fun and play (never mention any real or perceived unfairness to him!), and work on some skills at home. Maybe some camps and lessons if he wants to, and it fits the budget. Being disfavored or ignored by youth dad coaches doesn’t mean a THING about a kid’s future in sports- truly.

-Just a mom who has watched several age groups of kids grow up and play sports- a lot of baseball/softball in particular.

Stage 2 can be cruel to talented, late bloomers. The kids move up to the 90ft field and start using BBCOR bats. The hits will dry up for the small kids. The late bloomers have to out work the big boys in this stage and create value until they get their growth spurt. This is the time to work on speed, bunt skills, and bat to ball skills. Live in the cage so that you are the toughest out on the team and drive up opposing pitch counts. This was my kid. He was passed over by many travel coaches in middle school for being only 100lbs in 8th, but is now the top hitter on his WCAC team. Trust the process.

This was an excellent description of the baseball years as we’ve experienced them. My son’s a 90 pound 5’2 8th grader. His Dad is 6’2, so his growth is coming. He has repeatedly been cut by multiple travel teams and is struggling at the bat. We’re encouraging him to keep playing rec and practicing, but I’m not sure the drive is there anymore. It’s sad to see as he loves baseball, had decent success in the “daddy ball years” (even without his Dad as the coach), but rec ends this year and he may not make the JV HS team.

It’s also frustrating to him that some early bloomers have switched to baseball and catch the coaches eye because they’re big and if they make contact, hit the ball far. But they don’t know the game. Meanwhile, some of the biggest beneficiaries of “daddy ball” have quit because they’re tired of Dad or Dad’s not able to control things anymore.

We try to stay positive about baseball while encouraging playing other sports that better fit his size. He’s a good tennis player and could make varsity as a freshman, but it doesn’t have the allure of baseball.

I’d encourage him to hang in if he really likes baseball- at the end of 8th grade last year my son was 5’4” 95. Less than a year later he is 5’9” 120- with almost all of that growth happening since school started. No signs of slowing down yet either. Husband is 6’1” so likely has at least a few more inches coming. He has caught up height wise to most of the other kids in a pretty short amount of time.

He did make the competitive JV team at our school- was not a starter but saw a good amount of playing time especially as the season progressed. Struggled quite a bit with BBCOR in middle school but hit quite well this Spring- lots of line drive singles -and it was nice to see. I think it is likely he makes the JV team again next Spring and he has every chance to earn a starting role if he keeps working hard in the weight room and on the field. Hopefully more power comes.

We moved him down to an absolutely terrible travel team in 8th grade- the only one that would take a kid his size. But he got reps and had fun. He also has been consistent with batting lessons and I think that has made a big difference.

But yeah- baseball is particularly rough on late bloomers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago when my son was 8, he played Little League (Vienna) and had the misfortune of being on teams two seasons in a row where the dads/coaches really thought their sons were headed for the big leagues. The coaches barely played the lesser skilled kids (my son was in this group) and ignored all but a handful of players. The boys are all in high school now and the kids who were going to be Cal Ripken aren’t even playing baseball (or any sport, for some of them) anymore. I occasionally wonder if the dads ever think back on how they coached those teams and regret being so myopic. Just wishful thinking on my part?

Wishful thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a kid that is getting some interest from D1 schools in baseball, here is my $.02 on youth baseball:

1. I now appreciate the European soccer style of player development. They focus entirely on building fundamental skills until kids are like 13. They don't play any games, just do some scrimmages...often just internally, but sometimes against a different team. They don't keep track of score and may often stop the game in order to teach kids what they are doing right and wrong. Only at 14+ do they start playing real games.

2. Very few baseball coaches at any level try to develop players. I actually give credit to LL coaches (good ones)...they actually do try to teach some skills although their abilities may be limited based on their experience.

3. In my experience, travel coaches are just managers. They care far too much about winning games. Their teams may be different from season-to-season. My kid never played on a team that developed kids through the team...although the coaches were of course available for private lessons.

4. The older the kid gets and the better the travel team...the less any player development happens. At that point, you make the team because of your skills and coaches really only care about winning games and making sure college coaches scout and recruit from their teams. The best programs care more about the latter because honestly that is what truly matters. It is weird, but my kid is on a team where 2/3 of the team are D1 commits and their attitude is that once the college coaches are no longer at the tournament (those coaches tend to by 9-5 M-F people)...then they don't care much more about the tournament.

5. If you really want your kid to get better, find good private instruction and pay for that. It's harder to do than it sounds, but be picky. Try to find a flexible travel team that will let you play...again, just to see if your kid is getting better in true game day situations. Until your kid is 16, don't waste $$$s on travel programs that are going to crazy tournaments...unless it is one of these premier national teams...in which case, your kid is so good that these teams find your kid.

It is hard to go against the prevailing sentiment...and can't say I abided by my lessons above all the time...but I tried.

D1 Commit parent here too, and this is amazingly well said. It is hard to see this if your son is only 10 or so, but this is absolutely spot on.