The most annoying/ridiculous things about raising a baby/toddler in 2024?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:tummy time

I made so little effort with #1, and zero with #2 and #3. I'll see you in mommy jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

Being asked to use those terms in setting like a moms' group is coercive -- the implication is that if you don't use them, you are anti-trans. Like if you were in a group like that and it was announced "please say birthing parent and chest-feeding to be inclusive," and a woman insisted on continuing to say "mom" and "breastfeeding," she might be directly corrected or simply shunned. Coercion via social reprobation is a type of force.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't watch social media, but it can't be worse than whatever people were being fed by the church or the neighborhood moms or whoever else in before times.

Honestly I think moms just get PPA/D and so they're always going to latch onto some weird stuff. I doubt there's ever been a period where all the new moms were super chill, because I think it's biological.

With generation spans stretching out there is way less overlap in childbearing in peer groups, alot of stuff our ancestors learned through osmosis we have to learn through trial and error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do breastfeeding groups still push lip and tongue tie release surgeries on everyone?

This was true in 2017. Half the women in my group at the Breastfeeding Center in DC had either had it done on their babies or were looking into it. It was super weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

Being asked to use those terms in setting like a moms' group is coercive -- the implication is that if you don't use them, you are anti-trans. Like if you were in a group like that and it was announced "please say birthing parent and chest-feeding to be inclusive," and a woman insisted on continuing to say "mom" and "breastfeeding," she might be directly corrected or simply shunned. Coercion via social reprobation is a type of force.

You would do well to learn to take up space and stand up for yourself. When you do, you give courage to others who secretly think the same way you do. The great quote from Dumbledore: “It takes courage to stand up to your enemies; it takes a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” If Neville can do it, so can you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids born in 2021 and 2023.

Gentle parenting

An influencer hawking a course or guide for every niche problem, from potty training to motor development to sleep training to feeding

Woke kids books

Which books?

Anti-racist baby, A is for Activist, books for toddlers about RBG. Just go to the kids section at Politics and Prose and you’ll see what I mean. They are not at all helpful for having age-appropriate conversations about race with young children and I sincerely think that they’re just a way for parents to virtue signal.

I agree. I consider myself pretty progressive and my husband would probably describe me as woke. I have all those books and they aren't really on par with where a toddler is developmentally. I would recommend The World Needs Who You Were Made to Be and I Am Enough. My toddler loves these. For conversations specifically about race you'll need to add some context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

Yeah anyone who lived through 2020 and 2021 can tell you there’s about 3% of Americans who can actually do this.

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

Being asked to use those terms in setting like a moms' group is coercive -- the implication is that if you don't use them, you are anti-trans. Like if you were in a group like that and it was announced "please say birthing parent and chest-feeding to be inclusive," and a woman insisted on continuing to say "mom" and "breastfeeding," she might be directly corrected or simply shunned. Coercion via social reprobation is a type of force.

You would do well to learn to take up space and stand up for yourself. When you do, you give courage to others who secretly think the same way you do. The great quote from Dumbledore: “It takes courage to stand up to your enemies; it takes a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” If Neville can do it, so can you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do breastfeeding groups still push lip and tongue tie release surgeries on everyone?

Yes, there was even an article in one of the big papers on “big tongue tie” a year or two ago. I’ll try to find it.

Found it and it was more recent than I thought. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/health/tongue-tie-release-breastfeeding.html?unlocked_article_code=1.hk0.e5tn.D-C_0mVU-4B8&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&ugrp=u

I was trying to do a gift link and failing, but if you search for tongue tie newborns NYT article it should pop up with some various discussion forums as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

I have been forced. At my workplace, using the biologically inaccurate terms was official policy and you would be fired if you didn’t go along with it. This was an open, written policy. This is how this insidious stuff takes over. First it sounds nuts then it’s reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

I have been forced. At my workplace, using the biologically inaccurate terms was official policy and you would be fired if you didn’t go along with it. This was an open, written policy. This is how this insidious stuff takes over. First it sounds nuts then it’s reality.

I’m sorry. This is such a misstep for our society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

Is this for real? Where is this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

I have been forced. At my workplace, using the biologically inaccurate terms was official policy and you would be fired if you didn’t go along with it. This was an open, written policy. This is how this insidious stuff takes over. First it sounds nuts then it’s reality.

And if that happened at MY workplace, I would quit and get a job elsewhere. Again, no one “forced” you to stay; you are simply a coward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

I have been forced. At my workplace, using the biologically inaccurate terms was official policy and you would be fired if you didn’t go along with it. This was an open, written policy. This is how this insidious stuff takes over. First it sounds nuts then it’s reality.

And if that happened at MY workplace, I would quit and get a job elsewhere. Again, no one “forced” you to stay; you are simply a coward.

Somehow I just knew that was going to be your next response. Thanks for my daily reminder that gender ideology is an authoritarian cult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

+1. All the “chest-feeding” and “birthing parent” was enough for me to go “huh maybe those TERFs are on to something.”

Same. I am totally fine if someone who is trans uses those terms to refer to themselves, but the expectation that we are going to get rid of words like "mom" or "breastfeeding" to accommodate a teeny, tiny minority is insane. Especially because becoming a mom is still a challenging transition for many/most women and we still have a ton of misogyny around motherhood that women have to navigate, and not being able to use gendered terms to describe what is, for 99.9% of the population, a highly gendered experience, is ridiculous. I am happy to support trans people in ways that don't require me to erase/subsume my own gender and identity, especially when talking about deeply personal things involving my experience as a mom.

The point is not that no one should use terms like "pregnant persons," "birthing parent," or "chest-feeding." But forcing me to use them when I self-identify as a woman and mother with breasts is not okay. I don't have to change my own identity in order to validate someone else's identity. I can keep my identity while saying "and your identity is also a-ok with me" and that should be enough.

NP. I agree with you on many, many points, but be honest: when have you been *FORCED* to use those terms? You haven’t. Other people have used those terms in front of you; maybe they’ve even asked you to use those terms. But “forced”? Just no.

I have been forced. At my workplace, using the biologically inaccurate terms was official policy and you would be fired if you didn’t go along with it. This was an open, written policy. This is how this insidious stuff takes over. First it sounds nuts then it’s reality.

And if that happened at MY workplace, I would quit and get a job elsewhere. Again, no one “forced” you to stay; you are simply a coward.

Somehow I just knew that was going to be your next response. Thanks for my daily reminder that gender ideology is an authoritarian cult.

Like death and taxes, you can always count on progressives to eat their own.