Things you wish you knew…

[Anonymous]

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

So when my kid says “mom, help, I don’t know where to start,” I say … ?

[Anonymous]

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Research how majors are admitted at each school. An easy admit for undecided can be an almost impossible CS or business admit (for example- Penn State had around 5% admit for business this year)!

We were very ignorant about the small details like these and wish we had researched them before applying.

Unfortunately, as you found out, those are not small details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

Some people have financial constraints. Or drive/manage flights and hotels to see the schools. But happy your kid can do this all on their own!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

Your post is just showing the privileged community you live in and is not true of the majority of college kids. You are in a community of highly successful people, right? At a school where almost all parents have a college degree, advanced degree? By contrast, I grew up in a community where most of my classmates' parents didn't go to college at all. And most kids I grew up with did indeed do better than their parents did. My parents went to college but they were both the first in their families to go to college and went to the public university in my hometown which I'm 99% sure most on this board have never heard of whereas my siblings and I all went to top 25 colleges.

But maybe it’s relevant for those of us in affluent private HS communities….

Which is a very small percentage of people. Hence the “you live in a small bubble.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.

No offense but . . . . I dgaf what you did. You can trust others to do what they think is best for their own kids, in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

I agree with this - it does seem to be the case coming from private independent!

It has gotten much harder to get into top ranked colleges than it used to be simply because a lot more people are applying now. Much less impressive to have gone to an Ivy 30+ years ago than it would be now. Competition is tougher. When I was applying to college in the 1990s, a lot of my peers were first in their families to attend college and many set their sights much lower and stayed local to the midsize city public u or went to state flagship. Now that my kids are applying to college, that is no longer the case and kids are applying far and wide and it’s much more competitive.

[Anonymous]

Don’t expect to be treated fairly if your child applies to your selective undergraduate alma mater unless your family has a private charitable foundation with annual donation availability of more than 100 grand or a one time donation of 1M or more. Don’t get their hopes up or showcase what you loved about your experience decades ago. It’s not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

Your post is just showing the privileged community you live in and is not true of the majority of college kids. You are in a community of highly successful people, right? At a school where almost all parents have a college degree, advanced degree? By contrast, I grew up in a community where most of my classmates' parents didn't go to college at all. And most kids I grew up with did indeed do better than their parents did. My parents went to college but they were both the first in their families to go to college and went to the public university in my hometown which I'm 99% sure most on this board have never heard of whereas my siblings and I all went to top 25 colleges.

But maybe it’s relevant for those of us in affluent private HS communities….

Which is a very small percentage of people. Hence the “you live in a small bubble.”

Eh. It was helpful to me. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Don't waste your SCEA on Harvard.

[Anonymous]

If top stats, aim for schools in the T11-25 range for ED1 and ED2….

Much higher likelihood of early success

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If top stats, aim for schools in the T11-25 range for ED1 and ED2….

Much higher likelihood of early success

💯

Aim for ED1 (with top stats) at WashU/Emory/Rice/Chicago/CMU

Cornell /Vandy/Dartmouth only if truly exceptional

[Anonymous]

Don’t believe what people tell you anonymously, there is zero reputational risk if they are wrong and zero penalty for lying or mischief-making.

If they can’t provide a link to a publicly stated policy, text, or data point treat it as bullshit.