I cannot stop feeling so deeply angry at someone

[Anonymous]

I have read thru all 6 pages OP. Please, please give yourself CREDIT for confronting this person. No one can take that away from you. Wishing you peace.

[Anonymous]

OP who is this person? Family, boss, ex, friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person is not worth the energy you are putting into your anger.

That's not how it works. If I could choose to stop being angry and "let it go" I would. Trust me, I've tried.

The anger of being made to feel worthless is a very, very specific thing.

It sounds like this situation triggered something that made you feel like this in your past. I suggest working with a therapist to dig deep and find the true root of this angry response you’re having. I’ve been triggered similarly and when I speak with my therapist about it, I’m always able to trace it back to traumatic events in my past that were never resolved and processed by me mentally.

I wish you healing and peace OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read thru all 6 pages OP. Please, please give yourself CREDIT for confronting this person. No one can take that away from you. Wishing you peace.

Thank you. I need to hear that.

[Anonymous]

Something similar happened to me. It was intentional and meant to inflict deadly/physical harm. I am dying and I believe I have only lived this long because I can't die until they are legally held responsible. They are shocked I'm still here!

You know what I do, OP? Each night, I pray they lose everything, terrible things happen to not only them but their family too (because I believe their behavior is learned from bad parenting), they have an early, horrible, slow, excruciating death as I'm experiencing. This end of night ritual helps me rest. It's the only time I allow myself to think of them.

I believe in karma, and that somehow when I die, I will have some control over what happens to them in the afterlife. They think no one cares what they did, there's no chance anyone of authority will come after them. They believe they can blame me, explain their way out of everything. They know DC is corrupt and a judicial hellhole. Just wait! It might be in their next life, the roles are reversed. I won't let up either, I'll bite down like 'The Junkyard Dog' and never loosen my grip.

OP, believe God sees all things. They will get theirs and worse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what helped me let go of deep anger was to repeatedly interrupt the cycle of thinking about it. Seriously, when you start to think about it you need to consciously change your focus and find something to do.

When I would start to ruminate I reframed it and focused on/actively tell myself 1) I can't change what has happened in the past, but I have the opportunity to change how it affects my present and future 2) I can do kind things for myself in the present and future, including only allowing people who treat me well to be in my life and caring for my body. 3) Be curious about the conditions where I find myself thinking about it. Is it when I am bored? Is it when something else has happened that was upsetting? Is it when I feel bad about myself? What is the story I am telling myself about this and how can I make it more accurate (therapy helps with this) 4) Every day that I pivot from focusing on the past to doing something kind for my future self is an a radical act of self love.

For months this meant every time I thought about it I would get up, change my scenery (walk a lap around the office building, go to another room, go around the block), move my body for a few minutes, and make a list of 5 things that day I was grateful for.

Not the OP but I am having trouble moving past something in my life and this is an excellent idea. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me. It was intentional and meant to inflict deadly/physical harm. I am dying and I believe I have only lived this long because I can't die until they are legally held responsible. They are shocked I'm still here!

You know what I do, OP? Each night, I pray they lose everything, terrible things happen to not only them but their family too (because I believe their behavior is learned from bad parenting), they have an early, horrible, slow, excruciating death as I'm experiencing. This end of night ritual helps me rest. It's the only time I allow myself to think of them.

I believe in karma, and that somehow when I die, I will have some control over what happens to them in the afterlife. They think no one cares what they did, there's no chance anyone of authority will come after them. They believe they can blame me, explain their way out of everything. They know DC is corrupt and a judicial hellhole. Just wait! It might be in their next life, the roles are reversed. I won't let up either, I'll bite down like 'The Junkyard Dog' and never loosen my grip.

OP, believe God sees all things. They will get theirs and worse!

Are you physically okay? I guess the answer is no. Do you want us to help you get revenge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me. It was intentional and meant to inflict deadly/physical harm. I am dying and I believe I have only lived this long because I can't die until they are legally held responsible. They are shocked I'm still here!

You know what I do, OP? Each night, I pray they lose everything, terrible things happen to not only them but their family too (because I believe their behavior is learned from bad parenting), they have an early, horrible, slow, excruciating death as I'm experiencing. This end of night ritual helps me rest. It's the only time I allow myself to think of them.

I believe in karma, and that somehow when I die, I will have some control over what happens to them in the afterlife. They think no one cares what they did, there's no chance anyone of authority will come after them. They believe they can blame me, explain their way out of everything. They know DC is corrupt and a judicial hellhole. Just wait! It might be in their next life, the roles are reversed. I won't let up either, I'll bite down like 'The Junkyard Dog' and never loosen my grip.

OP, believe God sees all things. They will get theirs and worse!

Not OP but I just had this idea: Could you write a letter to the abuser that a trusted person would mail after your death? And the letter tells them the abuser that you've cursed them and will haunt them from the afterlife? They might be relieved when you pass, so this could freak them out. Also wondering if you could publish online what they did? I think it would be hard for them to get it taken down and they can't sue you if you're dead (not to mention that you'd be telling the truth).

[Anonymous]

I think finding a way to help other abused people might be healing for you. Put all that anger and energy into something that makes a positive difference. Animals might be another good group to help. When we help others, we really help ourselves.

[Anonymous]

The people there were scared to speak up. They weren’t even able to focus on you. They only could worry about themself. Years out you factor little into their memory but their feelings at the time do. That’s what they remember. It’s always hard to accept you aren’t the center of everyone else’s attention but only the center of your own.

and btw reporting someone to CPS and getting them investigated is pretty easy. If they raged at you there is an excellent chance they do the same to their kids and much worse. Even if nothing comes of the situation the investigation itself will be worse time in their life than you experienced and oh and you can also drop a rumor about them being investigated so it gets spread around.

[Anonymous]

OP, I still don't know enough about your situation to say much, but just sharing an observation that sometimes the best way to let go is to stop trying to stop thinking about it. Stop focusing on it completely, including all the attempts to move past it. Therapy, to the extent that it just gives you an outlet to keep rehashing and re-igniting that anger, is counter productive. Stop meditating with the intent to move past this. You are forcing yourself in to a position you are not ready for on this issue (to move on) and it is actually preventing you from moving on. It's like you are dealing with a grease fire and you keep trying to pour water on it to put it out but that is just making things worse. Just let it turn itself out. Acknowledge your feelings when they arise but then move on to whatever you were doing. In addition to that, you could try:

- writing a letter from yourself at your old age death bed to current self. Don't focus solely on this traumatic event but just write what you think your older self would say to yourself now in general

- focus on someone else. Not something else, but someone else. Go help someone who needs help, volunteer for an organization that provides a way you can directly help someone one on one. Read biographies or autobiographies about people who have endured great suffering. The idea here is to put your sorrows into perspective. Whatever your sufferings may have been, I guarantee you someone has suffered more. Do whatever you can to draw your focus out of yourself and put your life in perspective.

- at the end of each day before bed, think deeply about 3 things from that day you were thankful for. The idea here is to slowly develop a "gratitude" mindset.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are seriously wasting good years of your life. Go out and enjoy being with your kids, find things you love and invest your time and energy in those.

This stuff will destroy you and leave you a bitter husk of a human.

Take a deep breath and compartmentalise. Put it behind you, focus on the next things, all the wonderful, positive things you can find.

Good luck.

You are not listening, but thank you for calling me a "bitter husk of a human." Vivid and hurtful. Good luck to you too.

Wow. Try re-reading what was written. "this stuff will destroy you and leave you a bitter husk of a human"

that's not the same at all as accusing you of being one.

I think your problem is that you are MENTALLY ILL

maybe you should go to the ER now or get your DH to call for a 5051

[Anonymous]

I think you are waiting for that “something bad” to happen to this person so you can let go. How will your mindset change if you found out any of these things about them:

They are arrested for tax fraud and facing jail time
They have a terminal disease
Their loved ones experienced the same thing you did by someone else

Would it make it easier for you to move on? What if someone said to you with certainty that one of the above things will happen in 5 years, will that make your days easier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me. It was intentional and meant to inflict deadly/physical harm. I am dying and I believe I have only lived this long because I can't die until they are legally held responsible. They are shocked I'm still here!

You know what I do, OP? Each night, I pray they lose everything, terrible things happen to not only them but their family too (because I believe their behavior is learned from bad parenting), they have an early, horrible, slow, excruciating death as I'm experiencing. This end of night ritual helps me rest. It's the only time I allow myself to think of them.

I believe in karma, and that somehow when I die, I will have some control over what happens to them in the afterlife. They think no one cares what they did, there's no chance anyone of authority will come after them. They believe they can blame me, explain their way out of everything. They know DC is corrupt and a judicial hellhole. Just wait! It might be in their next life, the roles are reversed. I won't let up either, I'll bite down like 'The Junkyard Dog' and never loosen my grip.

OP, believe God sees all things. They will get theirs and worse!

Are you physically okay? I guess the answer is no. Do you want us to help you get revenge?

No, I'm physically very unwell. Yes, I could use help getting revenge before it's too late!

[Anonymous]

I would find a witchcraft practitioner.

Seriously.

Sometimes revenge needs some help from the beyond.