Would you move your 15-year-old across the country for a new dream job?

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the kids. Some kids can switch and be successful, some kids are more precarious. Talk to your child. Are they ambitious and have a college plan? If they have eyes on state schools maybe they are willing to have a less fun high school experience to trade it in for better college prospects.

Do you have any close family friends or family that will be staying? I would seriously consider letting a 16 year old stay in that kind of scenario, if you have someone willing to host them. Might be the best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends, beautiful landscape, ample cultural opportunities, and a far better state university system.

california > md/dc/va by severa miles but is very expensive and moving sophomore year is a b&*(&

so.... do this if you can offer your kid something really amazing when you get there like readily available beach access and surf lessons or something..

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

my parents did this to me when I was 16, so I moved the summer before Junior year. I did OK, but the adjustment was really intense.

I went from a working class upstate NY small town to an UMC giant public school in a big southern city. That city had a ton of transplants, so that helped -- I wasn't anywhere close to the only new person. The level of schoolwork was much more rigorous (though my upstate NY school actually sent more kids to Ivies), so that was a wake-up call.

I had some casual friendships at that school but never really grew to love any of those kids, but we did move to a state with a good university system and I went to the state flagship (UNC) and actually loved it made some of my closest life friends there. So that part, perhaps, worked out.

I have to say, I wonder all the time what my life would have been like if we had stayed in NY. before the move, I was a straight A honors student, all-state violinist, ran track and field. After the move I was so depressed, none of those things remained true. I'm glad to have gotten out of that small town, but the move was really destabilizing and just sad. I ended up doing OK, but I wonder all the time what life would have been like if we had stayed there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my parents did this to me when I was 16, so I moved the summer before Junior year. I did OK, but the adjustment was really intense.

I went from a working class upstate NY small town to an UMC giant public school in a big southern city. That city had a ton of transplants, so that helped -- I wasn't anywhere close to the only new person. The level of schoolwork was much more rigorous (though my upstate NY school actually sent more kids to Ivies), so that was a wake-up call.

I had some casual friendships at that school but never really grew to love any of those kids, but we did move to a state with a good university system and I went to the state flagship (UNC) and actually loved it made some of my closest life friends there. So that part, perhaps, worked out.

I have to say, I wonder all the time what my life would have been like if we had stayed in NY. before the move, I was a straight A honors student, all-state violinist, ran track and field. After the move I was so depressed, none of those things remained true. I'm glad to have gotten out of that small town, but the move was really destabilizing and just sad. I ended up doing OK, but I wonder all the time what life would have been like if we had stayed there.

Were u on the Ivy track at your old school?

Like at 16 were you on track to other former 16 year old who ended up going Ivy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my parents did this to me when I was 16, so I moved the summer before Junior year. I did OK, but the adjustment was really intense.

I went from a working class upstate NY small town to an UMC giant public school in a big southern city. That city had a ton of transplants, so that helped -- I wasn't anywhere close to the only new person. The level of schoolwork was much more rigorous (though my upstate NY school actually sent more kids to Ivies), so that was a wake-up call.

I had some casual friendships at that school but never really grew to love any of those kids, but we did move to a state with a good university system and I went to the state flagship (UNC) and actually loved it made some of my closest life friends there. So that part, perhaps, worked out.

I have to say, I wonder all the time what my life would have been like if we had stayed in NY. before the move, I was a straight A honors student, all-state violinist, ran track and field. After the move I was so depressed, none of those things remained true. I'm glad to have gotten out of that small town, but the move was really destabilizing and just sad. I ended up doing OK, but I wonder all the time what life would have been like if we had stayed there.

Were u on the Ivy track at your old school?

Like at 16 were you on track to other former 16 year old who ended up going Ivy?

That’s what you thought was the important aspect of the story? PP shared such a deeply personal and insightful account of what it’s like and all you care about is the Ivy potential? Sad.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you take the dream job. Your kid can come back here to college if they want or live there later.

[Anonymous]

Take the job. I can not believe how many parents coddle their kids and give up everything just for them.

[Anonymous]

LOL who are these people that wouldn't move their kid for the right job? Now or never! Kids friend groups change, they move, they break up, they fight, and most of all - they aren't really friends after college.

I am just flabbergasted. TAKE THE JOB.

[Anonymous]

Only child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are willing to put your want over your kid's need, why did you have them?

You're going to regret the move.

So she should forgo a dream job so the kid can live 3 more years with okay friends? Sureeeee

Take the job OP

[Anonymous]

How much more would this dream job pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the process of interviewing for a job I've wanted for many years. It is a perfect fit for my goals and skills, and it pays well.

The issue is my 15-year-old DC. They're now a freshman. They have a solid if small group of friends, and a girlfriend. They've already been moved across the country once by us, when they were six.



———————-

See what your kid says.

I’m the one who referenced having had a teen in crisis. I would treat that possibility as a known risk and see what I could do to mitigate it. And I’d be willing to not make the move if my kid seemed unable to stomach it.

Money, I spent so much money helping my kid bounce back from suicidal depression. Check in with your kid and give them some level of say in this decision. Yes, your kid will move out in 3 years. But when you think about what’s important in life, I bet family well being tops it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL who are these people that wouldn't move their kid for the right job? Now or never! Kids friend groups change, they move, they break up, they fight, and most of all - they aren't really friends after college.

I am just flabbergasted. TAKE THE JOB.

We have a friend whose family moved to Thailand for their dad's job, when he was in high school. It was a huge financial benefit for his family because his dad got a significant raise, plus the company paid their living expenses and other perks.

Yes, you should consider your kid's feelings, but ultimately need to make a decision that benefits the family as a whole. Sometimes that means moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL who are these people that wouldn't move their kid for the right job? Now or never! Kids friend groups change, they move, they break up, they fight, and most of all - they aren't really friends after college.

I am just flabbergasted. TAKE THE JOB.

Not always true, I met the only real friend i have in kindergarten.