Spouse makes significantly more income, how do you handle it?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for over 10 years, and when we first met, we both made about the same, $65k-$75k. In the beginning, it was easy to budget and travel and go out since we always just split the expenses down the middle. Flash forward to now and I'm making about $140k and my SO is making close to $300k. The difference is significant and it really only happened in the last 3 years when my SO had a series of job moves that resulted in doubling of salary.

I was wondering how others have dealt with this situation? I'm heard suggestions from splitting expenses as a percentage of your income, to just having one big pot and it's all both of ours, to having separate accounts we're "your money is yours and mine is mine."

[Anonymous]

It all belongs to both of us. One big pot that we each have equal say over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It all belongs to both of us. One big pot that we each have equal say over.

Same here and I make $70k and DH makes $330

[Anonymous]

All major expenses split according to income relatively (approx.), about 65-35.

After all parents were gone, after inheriting it’s about2:1, the spouse w the greater bankn(separate property, inherited), pays nearly 100% of jointcexpnses now.

[Anonymous]

Not married but I make 50k whereas my bf makes 500k. He has the ability to take me to nice restaurants, and we go on nice trips. But I make sure his clothes just magically appear in his closet, he doesn't have to "think" when we're together, and dinner most of the time is on me (and it's spectacular). His doormen are tipped by me, and some people at his company are given gifts from him but we all know it's from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All major expenses split according to income relatively (approx.), about 65-35.

After all parents were gone, after inheriting it’s about2:1, the spouse w the greater bankn(separate property, inherited), pays nearly 100% of jointcexpnses now.

P.s. a wise law school professor told the women in my class to be sure to look out for their legitimate separate property in considering how to handle, same for men.

So we have a joint pool contributed to proportionally based on income, the rest is separate but of course available to spend on each other and we do.

[Anonymous]

I make $40k and DH makes $165k. One big pot, equal say here too. Although I might actually have more say now that I think about it!

[Anonymous]

I make $300, DH makes $125. It all goes in the same pot. The only reason the disparity makes any difference is that we tried to peg our ability to pay mortgage to the lower salary only, since it's more stable. In practice that just means we save/invest more than if we'd pegged it to my salary, not that I personally have more money.

If we ever had arguments about money we'd introduce equal amounts of "no questions asked" fun money for each of us. But any set up where one partner has a better standard of living or more money to spend than the other isn't a true partnership in my eyes.

[Anonymous]

All money goes into joint accounts. All savings/spending/investment is joint. We each get a few hundred dollars a month in a separate personal accounts each month to blow on whatever we want. I make more than my husband but I barely remember that most of the time, all our assets are joint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All major expenses split according to income relatively (approx.), about 65-35.

After all parents were gone, after inheriting it’s about2:1, the spouse w the greater bankn(separate property, inherited), pays nearly 100% of jointcexpnses now.

P.s. a wise law school professor told the women in my class to be sure to look out for their legitimate separate property in considering how to handle, same for men.

So we have a joint pool contributed to proportionally based on income, the rest is separate but of course available to spend on each other and we do.

I don't know how lawyers stay married with constant bean counting.

[Anonymous]

I make 450 and DH makes 100.

We have a joint account and it all goes in there. I can't imagine making it proportional -- seems needlessly difficult but we are married. If we weren't I don't know, maybe we would not have a joint account.

I also have about 800k more in my 401k than he does but he is the beneficiary. I think of that as our money also. I do have an inherited IRA which we haven't mingled. We take the RMD each year which is our play money.

So....I guess it is all ours. No bean counting.

[Anonymous]

I think success around money has much more to do with attitude than how you organize it. If you have the same approach to money and communicate well, you can set it up pretty much any way you want.

All of our checking accounts are held jointly, but there are some that I use more and some he uses more. We divide the expenses in a way that makes sense, proportional to our income. He pays for certain things (mortgage, some utilities, etc.), and I pay for certain things (school tuition, travel, groceries, other household expenses such furniture, cell phone bill, etc). If a big expense comes up that we weren't expecting, we discuss & agree on which account we're going to pay it out of. We have never once sat down and figured out if how we divide things up is exactly fair. It feels fair to us, primarily because we still see all of it as being "our" money, and who pays for what is really more of a functional question.

[Anonymous]

I make $112K. DH makes $220K plus bonus. We have joint accounts and both consult the other if we want to make a purchase above about $100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It all belongs to both of us. One big pot that we each have equal say over.

this has been working for 25 years

[Anonymous]

You make a good income. What is the issue? I don't work. Its both our money. Its not a big deal but neither of us are big spenders and he doesn't care what I do.