Difficulty with daycare transition

[Anonymous]

My kids (7mo/3/4) just moved to a daycare (its very small and we're in a state with very low covid numbers). They have had a nanny for three years and she recently quit. I found a small 12 kid center that could take all three and instead of infant class/toddler class etc they are kind of all together. I thought this would be a good transition from the nanny situation because they were all together.

But every morning I get a long fight of 'I don't want to go to daycare' 'I don't like daycare' etc. It's been about two weeks. I think that the 3 year old is really fine just picking up on what his big sister is saying. Her biggest complaint seems to be the nap situation, but I think just generally she is having a hard time adjusting to a much more structured and rule heavy environment. She is supposed to start K in September and who knows what that will even look like. I'm torn between finding a new place for her temporarily, putting her in preschool and just skipping this COVID school situation and starting K next year, or just having her suck it up. She likes the people, the other kids, and I like that our covid bubble is limited and am concerned by what adding another facility will throw into the mix.

If you had a kid that went to daycare/preschool after a long period with a nanny how long did it take them to get with the new program? I don't want to feel like I'm torturing her, but I also need to do what's right for our family and for a lot of reasons, keeping her there for at least the next 6 weeks is the right call.

[Anonymous]

I see them all being together as a pretty big red flag. The older kids aren't going to get as much attention and are going to be bored around the babies and not get developmentally appropriate activities (the nanny situation was different because she only had one baby to deal with but frankly wasn't ideal).

I would find somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Any daycare transition takes a month. Give it more time.

Do the teachers say the biggest is happy while she is there? She may just be testing boundaries to see if she has the power to change her care situation and not actually be unhappy there.

[Anonymous]

My kids hated the mandated preschool nap at age 4, and would complain about going for that reason (otherwise liked it). They’ll learn to roll with it. You could also ask the daycare if your oldest child could read quietly or do some other quiet activity during nap time. The 3 year old probably still needs a nap. Also, I like family style age groupings at daycares/preschools. I think both the big and little kids can learn a lot being in mixed-age groups.

[Anonymous]

In home daycares are hard for any child over the age of two. They get bored. This is probably what you are seeing.

[Anonymous]

Just following up here in case someone else comes across it. We talked to them about nap last week and instead she was allowed to color quietly and play with toys and was LOADS happier at the end of the day. Teachers say she is happier there and to be honest she seems very happy when we drop her off and when we pick her up, it is just at home that she complains.

We did discover that they had also mixed up the kids blankets and so she wasn't getting 'hers' which is from home and while not one of the MOST IMPORTANT blankets was still an important blanket so we got that sorted out too and I think things are improving.

Still agonizing over the K decision but overall she is doing better already.

She was getting SUPER bored at home and so K was absolutely 100% going to be right for her. If it wasn't for this covid situation this would be working out pretty perfectly but I am really wrestling between having her back home, but now alone with just us and being expected to zoom 3 days a week or just having her in this daycare or looking for a more robust preschool situation. Seems like there are no good choices these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In home daycares are hard for any child over the age of two. They get bored. This is probably what you are seeing.

It's not an in home daycare, it is just a small center. But this isn't in someone's basement this is a building with a playground, classroom and eating area etc. It certainly doesn't have as much to offer as the bigger places but it is more robust than that.

[Anonymous]

Your problem isn’t the switch— it’s that you are in a tiny daycare without age separating and age appropriate activities. No infant, 3 and 4 should all be together. Even at inhomes usually one staff looks after infants and one looks after toddlers and they separate them for age appropriate activities. And the inhomes usually only care for kids up until 3 or young 4s when those kids go to preschool.

And usually if they do separate by age, the older kids can have the option of nap or quiet time (reading, etc).

Frankly I’d be very skeptical of a center that mixed all the kids and had three openings. Probably poorly staffed and not offering enough enrichment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem isn’t the switch— it’s that you are in a tiny daycare without age separating and age appropriate activities. No infant, 3 and 4 should all be together. Even at inhomes usually one staff looks after infants and one looks after toddlers and they separate them for age appropriate activities. And the inhomes usually only care for kids up until 3 or young 4s when those kids go to preschool.

And usually if they do separate by age, the older kids can have the option of nap or quiet time (reading, etc).

Frankly I’d be very skeptical of a center that mixed all the kids and had three openings. Probably poorly staffed and not offering enough enrichment.

Openings were COVID related. Generally is not the case. And I live somewhere VERY different from DC in terms of what early childcare centers offer generally but I have been wondering if this will work for the school year when she needs to be challenged.