What's in your post-nup?

[Anonymous]

If you have a post-nup, or have considered getting one, what's in it? Finances, obviously. But, my attorney also advised me that I could ask for other things, like periodic STD tests if your spouse cheated.

Just curious what others have done.

[Anonymous]

As a male that makes considerably more money than I did when we first married, I still don’t understand the purpose of a post nup.

Either be married and have a mutual general expectation of behaviors or don’t.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why anyone would do a postnup.

Ridiculous. Also, a good attorney can get them thrown out.

Prenups are much more enforceable.

If you need a postnup, might as well separate. It is weird.

[Anonymous]

One case where a post-nup should be put in place is if the couple started out the nothing and one spouse helped the other spouse to achieve HNW. Whether is is something like putting spouse through law or medical school, or staying at home to take care of the kids, or spouse actually helped get other spouse up and running in their business. The support spouse needs to make sure he/she is taken care of if/when suddenly successful spouse decides they want a new life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One case where a post-nup should be put in place is if the couple started out the nothing and one spouse helped the other spouse to achieve HNW. Whether is is something like putting spouse through law or medical school, or staying at home to take care of the kids, or spouse actually helped get other spouse up and running in their business. The support spouse needs to make sure he/she is taken care of if/when suddenly successful spouse decides they want a new life.

You confuse net worth with income. A HNW couple will split the marital assets 50/50 upon divorce without any pre-nup or post-num needed.
Your example (supporting thru law/med school) speaks to the continued high INCOME which extends beyond the divorce and where the ex spouse may feel some ongoing entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One case where a post-nup should be put in place is if the couple started out the nothing and one spouse helped the other spouse to achieve HNW. Whether is is something like putting spouse through law or medical school, or staying at home to take care of the kids, or spouse actually helped get other spouse up and running in their business. The support spouse needs to make sure he/she is taken care of if/when suddenly successful spouse decides they want a new life.

That does not make sense. They are mostly going to have a 50/50 split regardless. No need for prenup or postnup.

[Anonymous]

Not the OP but I’ve considered one. My DH wants to strike out on his own and start a business. I think it’s way too risky and do not want to be financially entangled. I love my DH but he has a much higher risk tolerance than me. I want the house signed over in my name only and want to be clear that I will not pay alimony in the case of a divorce. We are both high earners but I will basically be the sole breadwinner for a few years or more.

[Anonymous]

That might be a reason. I had a similar situation in reverse but he is an attorney and said a postnup was not good enough protection for me to start a business. He knew that plan before we married.

He said we had to be separated for me to go down the road of considering starting a business.

I said ok. And we got divorced. (That is just one of several reasons).

But the financial entanglement was a key reason I wanted to end the marriage. I wanted my finances separate from his for reasons like this.

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite.

Spouse had an affair. Spouse remorseful begging not to divorce, in therapy.

In order to even think about reconciliation, I required a post-nup, std tests, AP’s name and vasectomy. He is already in intensive individual and group therapy on his own initiative and the affair was already over. He ended it. That was confirmed. She wanted to leave her husband for him and have him support her non-working @ss. Lol

We have 2 homes.

I’m writing in that I get the million one in the city and 1/2 of the $1.6 million one we live in.

I am also asking for part of his retirement.

I make decent $ ($185k/great health benefits) and he makes between $300k-500k/yr depending on project. We will go over spousal support/child support.

I look at is as protection and first sign he’s up to no good makes divorce much easier with most of the terms already negotiated.

Post nups are VERY common now and completely enforceable- each person is required to have their own attorney. Look at track record.

[Anonymous]

^ why not ask for more than 50% of his retirement (I assume 50% is the norm anyway).

Also, what about kids college expenses and some future alimony?

[Anonymous]

If I knew my spouse cheated, I really wouldn’t care if he had an STD or not. Actually, I would pray he did have one.

[Anonymous]

Wasn't there someone on here a while back whose tech husband wanted to divorce her as his tech business (that she funded early on) was get ready to take off? Someone, as I recall, suggested a post-nup to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite.

Spouse had an affair. Spouse remorseful begging not to divorce, in therapy.

In order to even think about reconciliation, I required a post-nup, std tests, AP’s name and vasectomy. He is already in intensive individual and group therapy on his own initiative and the affair was already over. He ended it. That was confirmed. She wanted to leave her husband for him and have him support her non-working @ss. Lol

We have 2 homes.

I’m writing in that I get the million one in the city and 1/2 of the $1.6 million one we live in.

I am also asking for part of his retirement.

I make decent $ ($185k/great health benefits) and he makes between $300k-500k/yr depending on project. We will go over spousal support/child support.


I look at is as protection and first sign he’s up to no good makes divorce much easier with most of the terms already negotiated.

Post nups are VERY common now and completely enforceable- each person is required to have their own attorney. Look at track record.

Wow...with those kinds of requirements, I would just get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One case where a post-nup should be put in place is if the couple started out the nothing and one spouse helped the other spouse to achieve HNW. Whether is is something like putting spouse through law or medical school, or staying at home to take care of the kids, or spouse actually helped get other spouse up and running in their business. The support spouse needs to make sure he/she is taken care of if/when suddenly successful spouse decides they want a new life.

You confuse net worth with income. A HNW couple will split the marital assets 50/50 upon divorce without any pre-nup or post-num needed.
Your example (supporting thru law/med school) speaks to the continued high INCOME which extends beyond the divorce and where the ex spouse may feel some ongoing entitlement.

Exactly. Let’s say two people graduate from law school and get married. They both work as associates at a big law firm. Then the woman gets pregnant and has a kid and decides to quit or mommy track so that she can handle the childcare and her husband can prioritize his career. Husband makes partner. They get divorced. He now has twenty or so years of high earning that she enabled because she took care of the kids while he gunned for partner. She has no job or a much lower paying job. So she gets half the assets, but there aren’t a ton of assets yet because he just made partner. That’s a situation where I might want a post nup - I give up or mommy track my career to focus on the kids and that enables husband to gun for partner.

I’ve seen this happen multiple times. Woman mommy tracks and finds herself divorced and without a good career while husband flies off and makes tons of money she isn’t entitled to.

[Anonymous]

My Ex wanted me to quit work and SAH. At the time, I made approximately $500k a year. I told him I’d only quit if there was a post-nup securing my financial future (his business is worth tens of millions). He refused. That was many years ago and we are now divorced and I am happy I kept my job that pays even more now. I also got half his business.