If your kids are in a competitive district or school... how was it on you?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious what the parents’ experiences have been in this kind of environment. Was it easy on you and par for the course because of your own upbringing or personality or did you struggle with it?

[Anonymous]

Struggle with what?

[Anonymous]

I had no qualms about it - suited my kid’s personality very well. He is very happy he went there - the school is similar to TJ, but in a different state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Struggle with what?

Pressure and competitiveness in general, college admission..

[Anonymous]

What are you concerned about? Do you know how your kid takes competition? From my observation, the pressure is what people (parents and children) create for themselves. In test based schools, there are usually a few genius kids each year, you have to be at peace with that and realize that no matter what, you are not going to be #1.

(My experience only relates to test based schools, I have no idea what happens in a competitive zoned school, it might be different)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you concerned about? Do you know how your kid takes competition? From my observation, the pressure is what people (parents and children) create for themselves. In test based schools, there are usually a few genius kids each year, you have to be at peace with that and realize that no matter what, you are not going to be #1.

(My experience only relates to test based schools, I have no idea what happens in a competitive zoned school, it might be different)

+1. Totally agree. The pressure is what people create for themselves. Tune out the noise and classmate comparison and do the best you can.

[Anonymous]

We moved to a competitive school district when kids were about to enter kindergarten. It turned out to be a poor fit for my older child, neutral for my younger. Also a poor fit for me. My older child suffered from anxiety and it was stressful to compete. For me, I felt competition among the moms to be stifling. I got to
The point where I frank b4 back to school.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a more competitive public school district than FCPS, where I sent my children. I went to a larger public HS, that sent even greater numbers to 4 yr colleges including top colleges. My experience, which included my experience as a middle of the road HS student helped tremendously when it came to parenting my own children. I was pretty shocked at our FCPS HS saying, "college is not for everyone" given the affluent, educated demographic they were serving.

[Anonymous]

My children went to public schools here that DCUM frequently refers to as “pressure cookers”. Frankly, we did not find it to be so. The positives were higher numbers of serious students, more offerings of the classes my children could take - so scheduling was easier, they also had a very high number of excellent teachers (one or two duds along the way). The struggles they faced were personal and unique to them and would have been at other “less competitive” schools in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a more competitive public school district than FCPS, where I sent my children. I went to a larger public HS, that sent even greater numbers to 4 yr colleges including top colleges. My experience, which included my experience as a middle of the road HS student helped tremendously when it came to parenting my own children. I was pretty shocked at our FCPS HS saying, "college is not for everyone" given the affluent, educated demographic they were serving.

Serious question, though, do you think that college is for everyone when the parents are educated and affluent? Are there no learning disabilities, no immature kids who need a couple of years to straighten out, no kids who already make decent money (comparable to an average liberal arts graduate) right out of HS, and so need more time to decide what it is exactly that they want out of college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a more competitive public school district than FCPS, where I sent my children. I went to a larger public HS, that sent even greater numbers to 4 yr colleges including top colleges. My experience, which included my experience as a middle of the road HS student helped tremendously when it came to parenting my own children. I was pretty shocked at our FCPS HS saying, "college is not for everyone" given the affluent, educated demographic they were serving.

Serious question, though, do you think that college is for everyone when the parents are educated and affluent? Are there no learning disabilities, no immature kids who need a couple of years to straighten out, no kids who already make decent money (comparable to an average liberal arts graduate) right out of HS, and so need more time to decide what it is exactly that they want out of college?

NP. I actually hate the “college is not for everyone” nonsense. I mean, how can someone say that when a college degree is the surest way to the middle class/upper middle class? And blah blah, the person will cite Gates and Zuckerburg, who were geniuses. That leads into the “test scores don’t matter!” debate. Of course, those people fail to realize that Gates got And total outliers. Before anyone stomps on me, my dad is an electrician. The work is physically brutal and, to be blunt, he could not help me with any schoolwork beyond middle school. The people who say that don’t walk the walk.

[Anonymous]

I thought FCPS was taking the easy way out. Lowering expectations of parents, re: outcomes, to keep the pressure off FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought FCPS was taking the easy way out. Lowering expectations of parents, re: outcomes, to keep the pressure off FCPS.

They are. If you aren’t at TJ a pressure cooker doesn’t exist. High schools that allow retakes is proof.

[Anonymous]

Not at our FCPS HS. I am the previous poster and retakes aren't a problem. Don't know where your school system is. No grade inflation here. Students work very hard in AP classes or maybe they aren't even in any AP classes and are getting 'C's". They are still college bound, or should be. Plenty of good 4yr colleges, maybe elsewhere out of Virginia, would be good choices for them. They are college ready without advanced classes.

[Anonymous]

My kids are in a ‘competitive school district’. We’re new this year, and it’s the weirdest thing: it didn’t end up being competitive at all. I think the high school still is, but the elementary school is super progressive with minimal instruction or content being learned. Some schools trade off reputations that aren’t accurate anymore.