My son is dating an older woman

[Anonymous]

Son is 18 years old and the lady he isdating is 25 years old. He was home during the school winter break and met her at a private party where his band performed. My son is a vocalist and lead guitar in the band. According to my son, she is an accountant and works for her very successful father. After he goes back to school, She drives up to school to see him twice a week.

My husband tells me to leave my son alone. I am worried because this is his first ever relationship. I can understand a 25 years old man dating a 32 years old lady but an 18 years old dating a 25 years old lady. I just can't wrap my head around that idea. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

He’s old enough to make his own choices. Talk to him, but don’t expect anything to change.

[Anonymous]

He's legally old enough to do what he wants. Leave him alone.

I doubt this will turn into a long term relationship. But even if it does, she sounds like a good catch even if she is older than him!

Would you rather he came home with an unemployed, criminal 18 year old?

[Anonymous]

I have an 18 year old high school senior and that would freak me out too!!

But not sure there is anything you can do about it. Maybe make sure he is savvy when out with her friends?

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. That’s got to be difficult, but not sure there is anything you can do.

[Anonymous]

I get why you are discomforted by this. I wouldn’t like it either. But nothing good would come out of you sharing your views with your son.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, stay out of it, mommy.

Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with the BS of girls his own age. She’s probably fantastic in bed and knows what she’s doing and what she wants. Either way, it’s none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Ogmafb. I expected to hear she was 40. Let him have his fun. Maybe she’ll teach him something.

[Anonymous]

There is something deeply wrong about a 25 year old woman who would WANT to date someone who just got out of high school.

Nothing you can do, though. He’s an adult. Let it run its course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is something deeply wrong about a 25 year old woman who would WANT to date someone who just got out of high school.

Nothing you can do, though. He’s an adult. Let it run its course.

Would you say the same of a 25 yr old man dating an 18 year old female? It is not “deeply wrong”.

[Anonymous]

OMG. May be they are just hanging out and doing some healthy %^*(ing and taking it easy.

May be it will turn into dating may be not. They are two young grownups hanging out. I'd be more concerned if he dated someone his age who is not in college or otherwise engaged or who has addiction issues or mental issues.

[Anonymous]

Sounds fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is something deeply wrong about a 25 year old woman who would WANT to date someone who just got out of high school.

Nothing you can do, though. He’s an adult. Let it run its course.

Would you say the same of a 25 yr old man dating an 18 year old female? It is not “deeply wrong”.

I’d say both those situations are very wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is something deeply wrong about a 25 year old woman who would WANT to date someone who just got out of high school.

Nothing you can do, though. He’s an adult. Let it run its course.

Would you say the same of a 25 yr old man dating an 18 year old female? It is not “deeply wrong”.

That would be predatory.

[Anonymous]

No matter the genders, IME, the older partners in these relationships are significantly less mature than people their own age and date “down” to get away from the pressure to act more mature. That this girlfriend works for her dad is a red flag for me that she may possibly have failed to launch.