My husband's boss is Jewish and I would like some ideas

[Anonymous]

So, for the past two years my husband has been working for the Federal Government and his boss and family are Jewish, and the past two X-mas his wife bakes very yummy stuff (sugar cookies, choco chip cookies, fudge, etc) and send to us along with a "merry x-mas" note - apparently they give that to others at the office as well. I made my husband write a Thank You card both times, but as I enjoy her baking goods (so yummy!) I am feeling guilt that I didn't send anything to them for Hanukkah.

So, for next year, since they are being so thoughtful, I would like to send a "Happy Hanukkah" card and something else - but what? I don't bake, so maybe there is some kind of specialty candy or chocolate we could send? Any ideas?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Maybe at Passover you could bring them a bottle of good kosher wine.

[Anonymous]

PP again. I should mention that you should have your husband check the ethics rules-I think you can give the boss a token gift, but maybe there's a $25 limit? The rules may differ slightly by agency. You don't want to put the boss in an awkward position when you just mean to be nice.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a Jewish person, I don't think you need to send them anything stereotypically Jewish for Hanukkah. If you have a baking speciality -- banana bread, carrot cake, (whatever it may be), just send it along. I'm sure it will be appreciated! As for sending it at Passover, I wouldn't do that because a lot of Jews don't eat baked goods at that time. You sound like a really thoughtful person, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a Jewish person, I don't think you need to send them anything stereotypically Jewish for Hanukkah. If you have a baking speciality -- banana bread, carrot cake, (whatever it may be), just send it along. I'm sure it will be appreciated! As for sending it at Passover, I wouldn't do that because a lot of Jews don't eat baked goods at that time. You sound like a really thoughtful person, OP!

PP, what if they're kosher? Wouldn't certain baked items be a no no? And what about how it's prepared?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a Jewish person, I don't think you need to send them anything stereotypically Jewish for Hanukkah. If you have a baking speciality -- banana bread, carrot cake, (whatever it may be), just send it along. I'm sure it will be appreciated! As for sending it at Passover, I wouldn't do that because a lot of Jews don't eat baked goods at that time. You sound like a really thoughtful person, OP!

PP, what if they're kosher? Wouldn't certain baked items be a no no? And what about how it's prepared?

In the unlikely event they keep kosher, don't put animal fat in your baked items (and who does?). And let them know if there's milk chocolate in them.

[Anonymous]

You could always buy nice chocolates. That way you could double-check for a kosher symbol.

As for kosher wine, I vote against that. Unless they actually keep kosher, they may not like/appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Just because they are Jewish doesn't mean they are religious. Do you know for a fact that they are?

[Anonymous]

5 C.F.R. 2635.202

(a) Gifts to superiors. Except as provided in this subpart, an employee may not:

(1) Directly or indirectly, give a gift to or make a donation toward a gift for an official superior; or

(2) Solicit a contribution from another employee for a gift to either his own or the other employee's official superior.

(b) Gifts from employees receiving less pay. Except as provided in this subpart, an employee may not, directly or indirectly, accept a gift from an employee receiving less pay than himself unless:

(1) The two employees are not in a subordinate-official superior relationship; and

(2) There is a personal relationship between the two employees that would justify the gift.

(c) Limitation on use of exceptions. Notwithstanding any exception provided in this subpart, an official superior shall not coerce the offering of a gift from a subordinate.

[Anonymous]

Seriously PP, no one can give a boss cookies or box of chocolates during the holidays in the fed govt? This seems ridiculous. I think it's really kind the OP is thinking about this. If you can do this, OP, many of the boxed holiday goodies during the holidays are kosher (Godiva chocolates, popcorn factory, "Hanukkah" Harry and David products, most of the boxed coffee cakes they sell in the mall, Sees candies, etc.). Safer than baking something on the chance that they have a kosher kitchen.

[Anonymous]

If someone keeps kosher, the fact that you prepared the food in your non-kosher home may be enough to prevent them from eating it, regardless of the ingredients.

Also, wrt the kosher wine suggestion, I know we all often think of Manischewitz when we hear kosher wine, but if you go to a good wine store, they can point you to some amazing kosher wines.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a lot of the issues above relate to how strict their dietary standards are.

I'm a gentile, so I may be off base here, but I did work with a lot of Israelis here and in Israel, and this is what I would do. I would ask DH how his boss eats at the cafeteria. If he eats everything, you have your answer - everything is fine. If he picks and chooses, he is careful about the basics like separating milk and meat but may not be concerned about keeping a kosher kitchen, kosher meats, etc. or maybe he is more careful at home but makes exceptions. If he eats vegetarian or routinely brings in his own food, then you have someone who is probably very serious about dietary rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously PP, no one can give a boss cookies or box of chocolates during the holidays in the fed govt? This seems ridiculous. I think it's really kind the OP is thinking about this. If you can do this, OP, many of the boxed holiday goodies during the holidays are kosher (Godiva chocolates, popcorn factory, "Hanukkah" Harry and David products, most of the boxed coffee cakes they sell in the mall, Sees candies, etc.). Safer than baking something on the chance that they have a kosher kitchen.

The PP did not provide a full description of the law; there are exceptions.

Sec. 2635.304 Exceptions.

The prohibitions set forth in Sec. 2635.302(a) and (b) do not apply
to a gift given or accepted under the circumstances described in
paragraph (a) or (b) of this section. A contribution or the solicitation
of a contribution that would otherwise violate the prohibitions set
forth in Sec. 2635.302(a) and (b) may only be made in accordance with
paragraph (c) of this section.
(a) General exceptions. On an occasional basis, including any
occasion on which gifts are traditionally given or exchanged, the
following may be given to an official superior or accepted from a
subordinate or other employee receiving less pay:
(1) Items, other than cash, with an aggregate market value of $10 or
less per occasion;
(2) Items such as food and refreshments to be shared in the office
among several employees;
(3) Personal hospitality provided at a residence which is of a type
and value customarily provided by the employee to personal friends;
(4) Items given in connection with the receipt of personal
hospitality if of a type and value customarily given on such occasions;
and
(5) Leave transferred under subpart I of part 630 of this title to
an employee who is not an immediate supervisor, unless obtained in
violation of Sec. 630.912 of this title.

Example 1: Upon returning to work following a vacation at the beach,
a claims examiner with the Department of Veterans Affairs may give his
supervisor, and his supervisor may accept, a bag of saltwater taffy
purchased on the boardwalk for $8.
Example 2: An employee of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation
whose bank examination responsibilities require frequent travel may not
bring her supervisor, and her supervisor may not accept, souvenir coffee
mugs from each of the cities she visits in the course of performing her
duties, even though each of the mugs costs less than $5. Gifts given on
this basis are not occasional.
Example 3: The Secretary of Labor has invited the agency's General
Counsel to a dinner party at his home. The General Counsel may bring a
$15 bottle of wine to the dinner party and the Secretary may accept this
customary hostess gift from his subordinate, even though its cost is in
excess of $10.
Example 4: For Christmas, a secretary may give his supervisor, and
the supervisor may accept, a poinsettia plant purchased for $10 or less.
The secretary may also invite his supervisor to a Christmas party in his
home and the supervisor may attend.

(b) Special, infrequent occasions. A gift appropriate to the
occasion may be given to an official superior or accepted from a subordinate or other
employee receiving less pay:
(1) In recognition of infrequently occurring occasions of personal
significance such as marriage, illness, or the birth or adoption of a
child; or
(2) Upon occasions that terminate a subordinate-official superior
relationship, such as retirement, resignation, or transfer.

Example 1: The administrative assistant to the personnel director of
the Tennessee Valley Authority may send a $30 floral arrangement to the
personnel director who is in the hospital recovering from surgery. The
personnel director may accept the gift.
Example 2: A chemist employed by the Food and Drug Administration
has been invited to the wedding of the lab director who is his official
superior. He may give the lab director and his bride, and they may
accept, a place setting in the couple's selected china pattern purchased
for $70.
Example 3: Upon the occasion of the supervisor's retirement from
Federal service, an employee of the Fish and Wildlife Service may give
her supervisor a book of wildlife photographs which she purchased for
$19. The retiring supervisor may accept the book.

(c) Voluntary contributions. An employee may solicit voluntary
contributions of nominal amounts from fellow employees for an
appropriate gift to an official superior and an employee may make a
voluntary contribution of a nominal amount to an appropriate gift to an
official superior:
(1) On a special, infrequent occasion as described in paragraph (b)
of this section; or
(2) On an occasional basis, for items such as food and refreshments
to be shared in the office among several employees.
An employee may accept such gifts to which a subordinate or other
employee receiving less pay than himself has contributed.

Example 1: To mark the occasion of his retirement, members of the
immediate staff of the Under Secretary of the Army would like to give
him a party and provide him with a gift certificate. They may distribute
an announcement of the party and include a nominal amount for a
retirement gift in the fee for the party.
Example 2: The General Counsel of the National Endowment for the
Arts may not collect contributions for a Christmas gift for the
Chairman. Christmas occurs annually and is not an occasion of personal
significance.
Example 3: Subordinates may not take up a collection for a gift to
an official superior on the occasion of the superior's swearing in or
promotion to a higher grade position within the supervisory chain of
that organization. These are not events that mark the termination of the
subordinate-official superior relationship, nor are they events of
personal significance within the meaning of Sec. 2635.304(b). However,
subordinates may take up a collection and employees may contribute $3
each to buy refreshments to be consumed by everyone in the immediate
office to mark either such occasion.
Example 4: Subordinates may each contribute a nominal amount to a
fund to give a gift to an official superior upon the occasion of that
superior's transfer or promotion to a position outside the organization.
Example 5: An Assistant Secretary at the Department of the Interior
is getting married. His secretary has decided that a microwave oven
would be a nice gift from his staff and has informed each of the
Assistant Secretary's subordinates that they should contribute $5 for
the gift. Her method of collection is improper. Although she may
recommend a $5 contribution, the recommendation must be coupled with a
statement that the employee whose contribution is solicited is free to
contribute less or nothing at all.