Weird question, need suggestions!

[Anonymous]

Every Christmas we do a huge family gathering and my kids are loaded down with presents. Of course they like to, and are urged by family, to open every single box or package. I’m all about fun, but it becomes a logistical nightmare gathering it all up and shoving it back into torn packaging at the end of the evening. Also, I like to take certain things like craft kits and store them in their closets to pull out on snow days or school breaks. It’s easier if the packages haven’t been torn into and the crafts haphazardly started already. Last Christmas I tried to set things like this aside, and told the kids they could open three things, but the gift givers were insulted and told me to “let them have fun, it’s Christmas”. So, am I being too Type A uptight, or does my reasoning seem logical?

If so, what should I tell the disappointed gift givers?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but this is not a "logistical nightmare." Perhaps you perceive yourself as uptight or logical, but you're really just dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but this is not a "logistical nightmare." Perhaps you perceive yourself as uptight or logical, but you're really just dramatic.

Oh my gosh, but it is! I’m talking 15 cousins each with 20+ gifts all open and all over the living room at my parents. But at least they had fun, I guess. I’ll accept that maybe I’m a bit dramatic, but nightmare is no lie!

[Anonymous]

Yep I hide stuff after they open it. And I refuse to allow them to open puzzles or anything with a million pieces at the Christmas celebration (which isn’t at the house where we stay). Otherwise stuff gets lost and the gift is essentially ruined before Boxing Day.

[Anonymous]

We have a similar issue, with fewer kids but just as many gifts. The gifts with many pieces or craft projects mysteriously disappear into our luggage quickly, so the kids can focus on just a few things while we're still at the grandparents'. If anyone asks, I just explain what I did in a bright and cheery way. My oldest is 9, and this is still working pretty well.

[Anonymous]

It’s one day. Have some prosecco and chill. This is not a nightmare. It’s ONE DAY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but this is not a "logistical nightmare." Perhaps you perceive yourself as uptight or logical, but you're really just dramatic.

Oh my gosh, but it is! I’m talking 15 cousins each with 20+ gifts all open and all over the living room at my parents. But at least they had fun, I guess. I’ll accept that maybe I’m a bit dramatic, but nightmare is no lie!

Nope--this is not a nightmare and it's not even a logistical problem. It is a TEMPORARY mess. Volunteer to collect the wrapping paper and discarded boxes and haul it out to the garage whenever necessary. While you're out in the garage, take a deep breath!

[Anonymous]

Ha people who get you will get this OP. I am like this. Like the PP, the multi-piece gifts just kind of disappear upstairs when no one is looking.

[Anonymous]

I suggest in the future, take a picture of Larlo using Aunt Marty's bead set and making her a necklace, or Larla building the lego set from Uncle Tad. Whatever the shit is, you snap a quick pic of it, and text it to that person once or twice when the kids play with it. They'll know that you appreciate them and are thinking of them when they use it, so they won't feel so excluded andn demanding on the actual holiday or birthday when their gift is opened and then put away for another day.

[Anonymous]

If I give a gift in person, I want the fun of seeing the recipient open it. This is doubly true if the recipient is a child. Just clean up done of them as you go along. Things that are involved, like some craft kits, can be whisked away once the child’s attention is diverted. Bring a blue IKEA bag and just periodically ferry stuff into your room and into that bag. Tell the kids beforehand that they can unwrap all their gifts but that they can’t open the packages and start playing with everything right away.

Sounds like maybe it’s time for your family to scale back the gift-giving. Secret Santa or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I get it. Twenty years of Xmas chaos with the in-laws and I was always the bad guy. In my case it was that they just want the kids to tear everything open at the same time. Nobody is paying attention, there’s no thank you, it’s just this gross display of grabbing and tearing. I refused to let my kids act that way and they slowed down, made sure nana was watching and said thank you each time.

I let them rip some boxes open, but had to be right behind them gathering pieces up. I usually tried to hang onto gift bags and would start throwing all the pieces in one as I could. Otherwise, half the stuff got thrown away with the shredded gift wrap all over the floor.

But my kids are HS age now. All they get are clothes and expensive electronics now, so try to enjoy the madness. It’s short-lived.

[Anonymous]

Bringing boxes, one for each kid. The child opens the toy, pulls it out of the packaging, ohs and ahs, and puts it into the box you brought. Once all the gifts are open, move the boxes to were you are and your kid can take out one gift at a time. They have to return the gift before taking out another. That way it is contained and your kid can play with things. Have gallon sized ziplocks for anything crafty so you can store the crafty stuff that spills out.

[Anonymous]

Natural consequences. If you leave part of a present at Grandma's house, it's on you to call her and ask her to mail it, etc.

I second the box for each kid idea, although I would simply say: Put all your toys in your box if you don't want to lose them. If they lose stuff, they lose it.

It's not for you to decide that X or Y is a "snow day gift." They are gifts for your kids to enjoy. They get to open and play with them and use them when they want, within reason. Don't be That Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I give a gift in person, I want the fun of seeing the recipient open it. This is doubly true if the recipient is a child. Just clean up done of them as you go along. Things that are involved, like some craft kits, can be whisked away once the child’s attention is diverted. Bring a blue IKEA bag and just periodically ferry stuff into your room and into that bag. Tell the kids beforehand that they can unwrap all their gifts but that they can’t open the packages and start playing with everything right away.

Sounds like maybe it’s time for your family to scale back the gift-giving. Secret Santa or whatever.

The bolded above: Children, you may OPEN all of yyour gifts. However, puzzles and craft sets will NOT be opened today, when there are so many kids all opening presents because you don't want the pieces to get lost.

And sit next to your children and as they open their gifts and exclaim and say thank you, you do the same, then place it in a pile behind them and they can focus on the next gift. And then those unopened gifts get moved into a box and into your bedroom where you are staying. And they may then pick 1 or 2 things to open and start using, because of course kids want to PLAY with their gits, but I agree, no need to open everything, strew it all over and then lose half of everything! That's wasteful as you can't do a puzzle without all the pieces, the craft won't work if you are missing 3 items, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP how old are your kids? Old enough to take responsibility for their own stuff?

I'm feeling like you could just give them each a box, and basically say, "you're responsible for putting all your gifts aside and making sure they come home with us." If they fail to do it this year, I bet they won't next year...